The Climb
by jelly4ever
Summary: The Climb is another Jelly fanfic of life away from Hollyoaks...It tells the tale of Jen and Tilly trying t move on with their lives but somehow the force of their love brings them back to each other...Can they build new lives for themselves or Will the power of love overcome them?
1. Chapter 1

**I was really disappointed in the way Hollyoaks ended our beloved Jelly so have decided to write my own Ending…Lets keep Jelly alive xxx**

**After Jens world came crashing down around her…she found herself waking up in a police cell all alone…Scared about what was about to happen to her….How would she cope having to listen as someone tells her that her and Tillys relationship was wrong…How she was a predator and Tilly her victim.?…**

**How she abused her position of trust.. How she was the adult and Tilly a child….Jen felt tears roll down her cheek…The last week or so have haunted her….She regretted getting Tilly expelled…she hated herself for not helping Esther…But more then anything she hated what she saw when she looked in the mirror. .Where had Jen gone? Who was this person staring back at her….**

**Jen shuddered as she tried to get these thought out of her mind…..Soon she would be interviewed about Tilly….She knew they would ask person questions about their relationship….They would want to know intimate things….Jen could feel her chest getting tighter and tighter…**

**The thought of gong to prison terrified her….She would be sent away for falling in love…People will look down on her….Make things out to be dirty and disgusting when Infact their love was pure and beautiful….**

**Jens eyes widened as her cell door opened…Miss Gilmore? A stern faced police officer said standing over her…Follow me please…**

**Jen was confused…where am I going?**

**.Your free to leave….Was all the police man said**

**Jen frowned she thought she heard wrong….Excuse me?….**

**You heard me….C'mon I don't have all day…The officer said…**

**Jen did as she was told and followed him to the front desk…..**

**Here are your belongings…He said…sign this form and you can get on your way….**

**Jen shook her head…I don't get it? She swallowed….**

**Well its simple Miss…If no charges have been brought upon you then there is no case….The police officer explained…Now if I were you I would get out of here…. Instead of asking questions…you solicitor will explain everything**

**Jen left the station in a cloud of confusion…As she made her way out she was met by Liam sat on the wall…**

**Sis…he called out as he hugged her….You ok?..I've been worried sick. They wouldn't tell me anything…**

**That makes two of us then…Jen replied pulling away from him….I still don't really know what's happening….**

**This is such a mess Liam? Jen sulked…**

**You don't need to tell me. Liam said…Jen what ever possessed you?…I mean how long has this been going on? Did you even end it?**

**What? Yes…Jen snapped…Things did end in the summer…But….Well something happened…Last week..**

**Jen your crazy. I mean you know how stupid this is…the consequences…Liam moaned..**

**Jen just sat with her eyes closed…I know I've messed up Liam…I just….Jen shakes her head. .I don't know ..I just couldn't help it….**

**Jen paused for a moment to again control of her emotions….I love her Liam….**

**Liam could see Jen was already beating herself up…he didn't want to upset her more by going on about how stupid she had been…**

**What am I gonna do now? Jen sniffed wiping her eyes…**

**Well I tell you what your not doing. Liam said. And that's going back to Diane's…She wants you out…**

**Jen laughed a little…Well Im not expecting her to let me continue living there am I? **

**Yeah well lucky for you I've arranged for us to stay with Maxine…Liam told her…**

**What ? Jen gasped…No way Liam…I cant go back to the village…Everyone's probably talking about me…**

**Not probably. Liam said…They are….But fortunately for you…Max isn't one of them….C'mon we can stay there till we know what we're gonna do….**

**We? Jen frowned…**

**Well im not about to abandon you am I?…Liam smiled…**

**As they headed off…Jen began to worry…Shit Liam what am I gonna do about my things? Diane's probably burning it all as we speak….**

**Hardly…Liam laughed….Anyways you don't have to worry…I've packed it all…its in the boot of your car….**

**Jen bit her lip…leaving the same way I came….**

**Liam placed his arm around his sister….It will be ok…..C'mon….**

**Tilly headed in to the Dog to meet Esther…People were staring but Tilly held her nerve and didn't show it bothered her…**

**Hey….Esther smiled….Drink?**

**Tilly smiled at her friend then shook her head….Do you mind if we get out of here?…Im not in the mood for the stares…**

**Esther looked around and noticed a few customers were staring and whispering in Tillys direction..**

**Well we can go upstairs….Im babysitting Oscar while Nancy and Darren are at Toms parents evening…**

**Tilly nodded and followed Esther out of the bar..**

**Once they were upstairs in the flat Esther checked on Oscar then sat next to Tilly on the sofa…**

**The two had become close again…Tilly still held a lot of guilt that she wasn't there for her when she needs her friends the most…**

**So how did you get on with the police…Esther asked…**

**Tilly dropped her head and fiddled with her hands….Oh you know….**

**Esther shook her head…No….that's why im asking…**

**Tilly swallowed hard and began to fidget….I didn't make the statement…She whispered…**

**Esther didn't hear her….You what?**

**Tilly rolled her eyes.. and cleared her throat….I didn't make a statement…I couldn't..**

**Esther sat up right" ..What ? What do you mean you couldn't make a statement….Tilly do you not remember what she's done to you?**

**I know.! .Tilly snapped…You don't understand Esther….I wish you did. .but you couldn't…**

**I understand she doesn't give a crap about you….I understand she was willing for you to lose out on an education to save her own career…Esther was angry…Jen had caused Tilly so much pain and yet Tilly was still defending her…**

**She's a bitch..Tilly…Esther added…**

**You don't know her…Tilly snapped…**

**Seeing Esther startled at Tillys outburst..**

**Look Esther I didn't mean to shout at you…but…You really don't know her…Not the real her…And I know she's hurt me….I know she would have let me drowned to keep her head above water…But…..I cant let her go to Jail…Not for me…Not over us**

**She deserves it…Esther sulked..**

**No…Tilly said shaking her head….She deserves everything I did to her…Outing her to the Collage and to Diane…Losing her Career..….But jail? Tilly shook her head and walked towards the window….**

**Esther….Jen and I had something special…It wasn't a fling or a bit of fun…Its was real….It wasnt wrong…or disgusting…She didn't groom me. .or take advantage…If anything it was me….It was me that wouldn't let up…me that harassed her…me that pushed it….She fought it for as long as she could…In the end the attraction was to strong….**

**Esther hated hearing Tilly talk about Jen like this…deep down she had always had feelings for Tilly….she had hoped something more would have developed between them now that Maddie was out the way…**

**Tilly…She played games with you…She messed with your head…Your 18..shes in her 20s…And she was your Teacher …In the eyes of the Law she's in the wrong so she should be punished…Esther protested…**

**Punished for what? Tilly asked…For falling in love with me? How can I let her go to jail for that?**

**As much as I hate myself for feeling it….As much as I want to hate her…I cant…I love her Esther…**

**Those words made a knot in Esther's stomach…why does Jen get to have Tillys heart when all she's ever done is hurt her…treat her badly…pick her up and drop her when it suited…**

**Well I think your crazy…Esther told her…She's got away with everything she's done to you….And now she gets to head of and start a new life away from here and you have to put up with the whispers and stares….**

**Let them whisper and stare…Tilly said…They will soon find something else to gossip about…**

**Once Jen had rushed through the village into Maxine's flat she sighed with relief. She had made her way there without seeing anyone she knew….**

**Maxine came out of her room…Hiya…**

**Alright Max…Listen we really appreciate you letting us stay…don't we Jen? Liam said..**

**Jen nodded.. she felt slightly embarrassed. She didn't actually know Maxine..**

**Its fine…Maxine smiled…stay as long as you need…And Jen….Just so you know…I don't judge..**

**Jen forced a smile…Thank you …she whispered…**

**Maxine showed them both where they could sleep and left them to settle in….**

**Liam I cant stay here….Jen panicked…I cant be here….**

**Jen calm down. .Liam said softly…It will be ok…we can stay tonight and decide where to go from here….**

**Jen agreed reluctantly and went to lie down…While Jen was asleep…Liam popped out to let Tony know he would no longer need his job…**

**As he walked across the village he also was met with stares…However unlike Tilly he wasn't about to let it go over his head…**

**2 Women stood by the Deli whispering…**

**Im sorry…Liam shouted out…Do you have something you'd like to say?…Just as he was about to get angry he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders..**

**C'mon mate calm down aye…They aint worth it….It was Dodger….He and Liam had become good friends ….Let them talk….**

**Im fine Dodge. .Liam said shrugging Dodger off him…**

**No your not…Dodger argued. .C'mon lets go for a drink. .yeah…**

**As Liam and Dodger headed into the pub Tilly was walking out…**

**Here she is…Liam shouted as he started to clap…Happy are you?**

**Leave it…Mate|" . Dodger urged him…**

**Liam completely ignored his friend….**

**I warned you to stay away….Didn't I…But noooooooooooooooooo ….You just kept pushing and pushing didn't you….**

**Tilly tried her best to ignore him but. .Liam was in no mood to let it go…**

**Make you feel good does it Tilly huh? To know you've destroyed her…**

**Tilly stopped in her tracks and turnt to face him…..Destroyed her? Tilly shouted…Do you have any idea what she's done to me? **

**She isn't innocent Liam. So don't you dare blame me for all this…**

**She could of gone to prison because of you… you stupid cow…Liam spat.,..**

**And if it wasn't for me she would be…Its me who isn't press charges…Its me who refused to make a statement ..so before you start attacking me in the street you might want to remember that….Tilly argued as she walked off….**

**Liam was a little taken back at Tillys revelation…he hadn't realised Tilly was the reason Jen was asleep at Maxine's instead of a police cell….Even though Tilly had in some ways saved Jen ..Liam wasn't about to be thankful…Dodger dragged him inside before he could argue with Tilly even more…**

**Once Liam had arrived back at the flat Jen was making a Coffee…**

**You ok? She smiled..**

**Liam nodded…I saw Tilly…**

**Jen's heart sunk at the mention of her name. then fear took over…Oh god Liam…please tell me you didn't..**

**Yep..Liam interrupted…**

**Jen closed her eyes and sighed…Liam…why….**

**What so she causes all this trouble and I have to stay quiet…I don't think so…**

**Liam…Jen tutted..She didn't do this….We did….me and her…you cant blame her for all that's happened..I played a pretty big part…In fact I'd say I had the lead role…**

**I don't care….Liam shook his head….Anyways I found out why they let you go this morning….**

**She didn't press charges…**

**What? Jen asked shocked…**

**Yep…Tilly….she wouldn't make a statement…Refused to press charges…Liam explained…**

**Jen wasn't sure what to think or feel about what Liam had told her…why didn't Tilly finish the job? What made her defend Jen after everything that had happened…**

**Did she still love Jen? **

**Jen felt confused…She had seen the anger and hatred in Tillys eyes the day she slapped her in the Art room …How mad she was at Jen when she walked in on Jen and Esther's little spat at the Dog…**

**What made Tilly have a change of heart..? Jen yearned to know….she even contemplated texting Tilly to find out…But her subconscious stopped her**

**Don't be an idiot Jen…she told herself…It was time for Jen to except she had lost Tilly and move on….She had made the decision to move back to London….**

**As far a way from Tilly as possible.. That way she wouldn't be tempted to contact her….That way she wouldn't have to bump into her and be reminded of what she thrown away….**

**As soon as Morning came Jen was driving away from Hollyoaks and she wasn't going to look back…..**


	2. Chapter 2

It had been 18 months since Jen drove out of Hollyoaks..her and Liam decided to head home to London….Liam moved back in with their parents and Jen went to stay with her best friend Hayley…

Hayley had been a good friend to Jen since they were kids…She never judged Jen when she introduced her to Tilly…In fact Hayley had became fond of Tilly and was saddened when her and Jen split…

When Jen explained everything to Hayley about what had happened ..Hayley was nothing but supportive…She helped Jen through her dark days…

As Hayley headed out for her lunch break she decided to try the new coffee shop at the end of the street she worked at…

As she queued Looking at the specials board she was distracted by a voice…..A voice she happen to recognise…

Matilda Evens? She called out

The girl behind the counter spun around…Oh my god…H…..she smiled…Hiii..

Hi? Hayley grinned. Is that all I get? Get ya ass over here and hug me….

Tilly grinned and ran into Hayley's waiting arms…Wow…how are you.? .Tilly asked..

Im good baby doll. How are you?…Hayley replied…

Im great " was Tilly. .answered taking off her apron…Wanna sit? She asked pointing to an empty table..

Hayley offered Tilly to lead the way….

Tilly called out to her boss that she was taking a break and grabbed her and Hayley a Latte…

Sooooo ? Hayley smiled…What the fuck you doing here?

Tilly laughed. She like Hayley's bluntness….Well…im here. As in the coffee shop because London's not a cheap place to live and if I wanna stay in Uni I need to earn some cash…

You're here? At Uni? Hayley asked..

Tilly nodded…and sipped her coffee…

I thought you were heading to Cambridge.? .Hayley asked..

Nah it wasn't for me…I love it here…Tilly smiled stirring her drink….

The two chit chat for a few minutes when Hayley decided to clear the cloud that was hanging over then…

So seriously…How have you been?…She asked carefully…

Tilly closed her eyes and smiled…Im ok….she said unconvincing

I take it you heard all about it? She asked..

Hayley nodded…Yeah I heard….Wasn't nice aye?…

Tilly shook her head….Do you see her ?…I heard she moved this way…

Yeah I see her….everyday in fact…she lives with me Tills….

Tilly heart began to race…She hadn't thought of Jen for a few days which was a big achievement…

Tilly became quiet. .fiddling with her hands she whispers…And how is she? I mean is she well?

Hayley could see Tilly was nervous …

She's fantastic….Hayley said which caused Tilly to look up …Really? She asked shocked that Jen seemed to have got on with her life…

Hayley laughed a little…Noooo…..coarse not…She's a mess Tilly…I barely recognise her these days

Oh..Tilly muttered….

Tilly ….came a call from the counter…As Tilly looked over her boss was tapping his watch….

Oh….Tut….I better get back to work…..

Hayley nodded..ok babes. It was good to see you….

You to " Tilly said as she hugged her….

So…just so I know….Hayley said….Am I to forget I've seen you today orrrrrrr?

Hayley was asking Tilly if it was ok to tell Jen that she was now living in London and working just a few streets away from their flat..

Tilly shook her head….No….you don't have to forget….she smiled …maybe she'll come in for a Coffee next time….

Maybe ! Hayley said with a frown…

Well….Tilly shrugged …Its been a while now ..We're both adults…

Ha…Hayley mocked…Can you really see you and Jen having a chinwag over a Coffee?

Tilly shrugged again…Probably not…But… I know I have some unanswered questions…

Hayley nodded…Closure aye?

Smmmmh…Something like that…Tilly said with a forced smile..

Hayley kissed Tilly on the cheek….It was great seeing you babe…I'll pop in again soon….

Tilly watched as Hayley disappeared…She had been in London a year almost and never once bumped into any of Jens friends…even though she lived close by…

Hayley was going to tell Jen …Once Jen knew there was a good chance their paths were about to cross

Tilly wondered if she would be ready? Would Jen even want to know? What would they say to each other…

As Tilly stands playing it out in her head she is disturbed

….C'mon Tilly …Her Colleague called out as she tries to manage the queue..….

Back at Hayley's flat Jen is having a tidy up…as Hayley came home she was excited to tell Jen all that had happened…..

Hey…Jen smiled…

Hi babe…You ok? Hayley replied

Yeah just having a clean up…Jen muttered…How was your day?

My day was….Mmmmm how would I describe it….Hayley wondered..Oh I know…My day was crap..Work was boring…I got soaked twice…My Boss is a prick…oh and I bumped into Tilly….

Jen laughed under her breath…normal day at the office then huh…..Whattttttttttttt ? She gasped as she realised what Hayley had said…..Tilly? How? When? Where? Jen gasped in one breath..

Calm down…Hayley grinned….Yes, I bumped into Tilly….She is at Uni here….

Jen slumped down on the sofa…she could feel her legs giving way….She was meant to go to Cambridge….she said sadly…

Wasn't for her. She said..Hayley shrugged..Anyways she's been here a year now….She looks great by the way…

Jen smiled …she always did. She muttered under her breath….So where did you see her?

Well…Hayley smiled…One of the girls at work told me to try that new Coffee shop on devlin road. So I did….and there she was….smiling away chatting to the customers..

She works there? Jen asked..

Yup….and I have a feeling she doesn't live very far from here as well…..Hayley explained…

Jen nodded….She wanted to ask so many questions but she couldn't get her words out…somewhere inside she was afraid of the answers…..

She asked about you..Hayley told her..

Really? Jen asked her voice a little high pitched..

Hayley nodded…yeah she asked how you were….Said you should pop in sometime…

Don't lie…Jen gasped…

Near enough..Hayley smiled. She said " Maybe you'll stop by next….

Jen shook her head…I cant ..she swallowed hard….I cant see her….I wouldn't know what to say for one….

Well….Hayley said wrapping her arm around her friend…You could start off by ordering a Coffee and take it from there…

Jen didn't reply she just lent her head into her friend….Cant believe she's here…..

The next morning Hayley is leaving for work …Jen im going. She called out…

Jen emerged from her room…Ok…see you later…

Hayley smiled…Coffee today for you yes?

Jen rolled her eyes….im not sure…

Oh c'mon…Hayley tutted…where's the braveness gone.,. Grow some balls and go see her…Today…Hayley instructed…

Jen smiled she knew she wanted to see Tilly but finding the courage was another matter

As Jen headed to work she decided to take the long way round walking along Devlin road…as she approached the Coffee shop her nerves got the better of her and she crossed over the road…

Walking slowly she gazed at the show window…Her feet stopped. She couldn't move…like her feet were glued to the floor…Her heart began to race and she felt like she was about to faint…

There she was….Serving Coffee to a couple sitting outside….Her hair a little longer then usual…But she was still as beautiful as she always was…More so now then ever ..Jen thought…

Jen wanted to talk to her even more now but she couldn't bring herself to cross the road….instead she stood still….Just watching the beautiful Red head walking around going about her day….

Before Jen knew it she had been standing across the road for over 10 minutes, Some idiot beeping his horn knocked Jen out of her dazed state. Realising she was late for work she hurried off down the road…

She couldn't get the image of Tilly out of her mind…Maybe seeing her was worse then wondering constantly about her…Jens day dragged all she wanted to do was walk past the shop again…..

Once she arrived home Hayley was waiting for her…Well?

Jen shook her head…Nope…

Oh Jenny…why not? Hayley moaned…

Jen fell face first on to her head…ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH She screamed into her pillow….I couldn't do it…She muttered…

Jen she isn't going to Kill you….all you have to do is see her and say hi….take it from there….Hayley shrugged..

I did see her…Jen sulked….I walked past and there she was…serving some people …

Sooooo? Hayley frowned…Why didn't you say hi…

Jen mocked herself…Ha….I couldn't say hello because I chickened out and crossed the road…I was watching her….Oh god…Jen moaned realising how stupid her actions were…..I must have looked like some crazy stalker women….Im such an idiot….

Yeah you are…Hayley laughed…Right ok so you couldn't do it today….How about I pop back in there…see what Tilly says…

Would you? Jen asked hopeful…

Yeah…coarse..Hayley winked..

I just need to know what kind of reception im gonna get. .Jen explained…

Hayley shook her head…Jesus. Remind me again which one of you was the School kid?

Uh it was Collage actually….Jen smirked…

Hayley rolled her eyes….Either way…You're a pussy….C'mon lets go eat …Im starving

As the two friends find a seat in the local pub Hayley skims the menu….

Im so hungry I could eat My dinner ..your Dinner and that bloke over there's Dinner…..Hayley laughs…Finding herself funny…Looking up from the menu once she realised Jen hadn't joined in…

What? She frowned as she sees the look on Jens face….Jen? Whats up….?

Jen shuffles in her chair moving it closer to the wall…

What are you doing? Hayley laughs….

She's here…Jen panics…Oh god…H …she's here…

Hayley was confused and began looking around…Who is? What the fuck you on about?

Shhh " Jen begs….Tilly…..I've just seen her…she's just walked in with a dark haired girl…

Where….Hayley frowns still trying to search her out….

Stop looking…Jen asks…..She's at the bar…Oh god I cant see her…Not like this…..

Hayley could see the panic in Jens face…Ok…calm down. She wont see us from there so….we'll eat and leave…Its ok…

Jen nodded…Looking over at the love of her life once again….Her stomach was churning and all of a sudden she wasn't hungry…Much to Hayley's delight…

Tilly ordered some Wine and her and her friend Zoë took a seat…

Ok so…Highlights since I saw you last?

Hmmmmm Tilly thought…Ummm I bumped into an old friend yesterday…

Oh..cool…Zoë smiled…Downside?.

Tilly and Zoë shared a room at Uni Halls for the last 3 months before Tilly moved into a shared house ..they had become friends…Zoë was someone Tilly could talk to about most things ..But she didn't really know Much about The confusion Tilly came from…she didn't ask either…Tilly preferred it that way…

They always asked each other what the highs and lows were of their day…

Well….Tilly began…The highlight kind of co insides with the. downside….The old friend…Well she's a best friend of an Ex of mine….

Ouch ..Zoë joked…

Tilly nodded..Yup….Turns out she lives around here too…

And that effects you how? Zoë asks

Tilly shrugged…it doesn't I guess…Its just weird after all this time. I didn't think I'd ever see her again

"Well how did things end? I mean did you do the old " lets stay friends" thing? Zoë joked

Tilly almost chocked on her wine….Oh god no….defiantly didn't do the whole "Lets be friends…

Forget her then…Zoë winked pouring more wine….

Jen was getting itchy feet waiting for Hayley to finish….She could hear Tilly and Zoë laughing which didn't help…

As hard as Jen tried not to look over her curiosity got the better of her….. As she watches Tilly and this other girl laughing and joking she cant help but feel jealous.. This girl was making Tilly cry with laughter….their body language screamed "Comfortable". After the girl had placed her hand on Tillys leg for the hundredth Time Jen couldn't take no more..

Ok Im done. I cant sit here…I'll meet you back home…She explained and hurried out the back entrance of the pub

Hayley stood up wanting to call Jen back but didn't incase she brought attention to them… unlike Jen Hayley couldn't slip out the back door she had to go to the bar and pay for her food…

She tied to slip in-between some people stood at the bar but her efforts were wasted…

Hayley? Tilly called…

Hayley sighed and turnt around pretending to be surprised to see Tilly

Ohhhhh hi Tills….she smiled. Sorry didn't see you there….you ok?

Tilly nodded with a smile…Yeah..Im good…She said as she looked around to see who Hayley was with…Jen not with you? She asked..

Uh no…Hayley said quickly…I…Umm had dinner with a client….Butter em up and all that ..Hayley winked….

Tilly smiled….Wanna join us?

Oh no…Hayley smiled as she declined the invite…I have to be up early. So…..

Oh ok no problem…Tilly smiled…

As They said their good byes Hayley headed off home to check on Jen….Once she arrived home Jen was pacing….

Thanks for leaving me Jen. Hayley moaned..

Who was that girl? Jen wondered.

Dunno…Hayley shrugged…Tilly saw me by the way…

Jen..Looked up off the floor….What? Did you find out who the girl was? …I…..I mean did she introduce her to you ..she asked as Hayley filled her in on the quick conversation she had with Tilly…

No come to think of it she didn't..Hayley frowned..

Jen stopped dead in her tracks….it's a girlfriend….It has to be. That would explain why she didn't introduce her to you…

I don't know babe. I mean we cant speculate..Hayley said trying to make Jen feel better…

No im right…Jen sulked. I mean why wouldn't she have a girlfriend? She's good .funny…Of coarse she has a girlfriend…

Hayley didn't reply to Jen..She just let her talk to herself..Jen did this when she was upset about something…

Jen began to pace the floor again…How stupid am I?…..I mean its been so long ..she probably doesn't even think of me anymore…I mean why would she when I've treated her so badly?…

Ok OK…stop…Hayley said standing in front of Jen so she stops moving…Firstly stop walking your making me dizzy….Secondly if she never thought about you she wouldn't have asked me about you…..Twice..Hayley explained. Holding two fingers up…

Twice? Jen frowned…Yup…In the pub she asked if you was with me…look Jen why don't you go and see her?

Before Jen could speak Hayley continued….Even if its just for closure?

Jen shook her head….No….I cant…She seems happy.. I don't wanna ruin that….I've hurt her enough….

What so your just gonna pretend like you haven't seen her? Hayley moans

"Yup…! Jen answers 2 days a go I didn't even know she was here…I accepted she was out of my life…I was getting on with things…so….she sighed" That's what im gonna continue to do…

Hayley tutted in disagreement…But Jen..

No buts…Jen snapped….I cant go there again. She's moved on H…Its about time I did…..


	3. Chapter 3

Over the next few days Hayley watched as Jen sulked around…The two of them sit down after a long day at work to watch a movie…

Hayley glances over at Jen who is staring into space…

Oi…Hayley said as she nudged Jen almost causing her to spill her wine…

Will you just go and see her for god sake…H added…

Jen frowned at her as if to say "What are you talking about….

Don't look at me all confused Gilmore…You make me sit and watch this film because you've so say been dying to see it and yet you haven't got a clue Whats been happening…

Look Jen….Hayley said lowering her tone….I know its hard for you…but you obviously want…No need to see her…..

Jen closed her eyes and composed herself …..I cant H…Its to much….seeing her the other night. .Laughing and joking with that other girl " Jen shook her head as if to rid her mind of the image…

Tillys happy…she's moved on…why would I want to mess that up?

Hayley felt sorry for her friend she could see she was in a battle with her head and her heart…

Ok…well…how about this…how about ….We both go for a Coffee tomorrow on our lunch break…We can get it to go…SO you can see her.. say hey and we can leave…Hayley suggested..

Jen shook her head….NO…she said firmly as she got up….Im not gonna mess that girl up any more then I already have….just drop H…..Please…

Jen headed to bed leaving Hayley let alone…The worst think about all this is Hayley remembers what a great couple they were. ! .And how when Jen brought Tilly to visit ….Hayley couldn't get over the difference in her best friend…It was like.. Tilly switched a light on in Jen….Hayley had never seen Jen so comfortable with someone….It was like they were meant to be….even after everything that had happened….

Hayley had a plan…..

It was 7.30 am and Tilly had dragged herself to work ..Zoë had made her go out last night and stupidly Tilly didn't get home till 4 am….Why do I do this to myself.." she whispered taking a deep breath….6 and a half hour shift was gonna feel like forever…

As Tilly helps her boss prepare the shop for opening she starts to feel queasy…The smell of the Coffee and the freshly baked cakes were making it hard for her not to throw up…

As Tilly steps outside for some fresh air her mind wonders…How .Hayley had popped in that day and hadn't been back since…She wondered if she had told Jen….And if she did and Jen knew she was so close by why hadn't she stopped by…

Tilly shook the thoughts away…The one thing she hated about hang over's was every time she was feeling a little worse for wear her mind would always find a thought of Jen…..

Hayley was up and ready for work before Jen had even got up…Poking her head around the door she shouted…Oi Gilmore…wakey wakey….She said with a giggle….Right im leaving for work …see you there ok….

She didn't give Jen a chance to answer she closed the door and headed out of the flat….

Hayley headed down Devlin road. And into the small Coffee shop that held a familiar face…

As Hayley pretends to skim the menu her eyes search for the Red head…sure enough there she was…

Hayley? Tilly smiled..

Oh…Hi Tilly Red.,..Hayley grinned pretending to be shocked to see her…I didn't think you would be here so early…Hayley added…

Yeah unfortunately..Tilly joked…Not that I want to be…Over did it Big time last night…

Hayley nodded..Yeah I can see that…You look like shit ..she laughed..

Oh thanks..Tilly pouted with a giggle…I can always count on you to be nothing but honest…

So what can I get you..?

Ummm…Hayley looked over the menu again. I'll have a large latte and some bagels….Oh and maybe your number for Jen? Hayley added with an innocent grin on her face…

Tilly was busy tapping the Till ordering Hayley's bagels when she stopped dead…My number? She frowned…For Jen?

Hayley nodded…Yeah…..

Has Jen asked for my number? Tilly asked..

Ummm….well…no….but…Hayley stuttered. .Well maybe I could just pass it on….ya know?

Tilly rolled here eyes…What are you up too?

Hayley laughed…Me? Nothing….

Tilly laughed….Look H I know you mean well….but…I don't know….if Jen knows im here and hasn't stopped by then it kinda speaks for itself….

No she does wanna come Tills…Hayley gasped….She really does…

So why hasn't she then? Tilly asked with raised eyebrows…

Hayley took a deep breath…shes an idiot aint she….She shrugged…Chickened out…

Tilly nodded and past Hayley her order….Careful with that latte its hot…She winked…

Hayley took that as defeat and could see Tilly wasn't about to hand over her number…

As Hayley left she smiled…Plan B then…It was obvious If Jen wanted to see Tilly she was going to have to be the one to make the move…Tilly wasn't about to hand it to her….

Once Hayley made it to work she rushed into the office…searchin out a leaflet that was in the post the day before…She remembered sees that the Coffee shop Tilly worked at was now delivering to local businesses…..

That will do nicely…She smiled…

Jen made her way to work…taking a Walk down Devlin Road…as much as she tried not to look over at the Coffee shop she couldn't help it….There she was again…this time she was leaning on the counter…The shop was empty….

For a split second Jen found the courage to cross the road…But as quick as the courage came it went again….

Leave her be…She said to herself…As she walked on she couldn't help but take one more glance…This time she didn't go un noticed…As Tilly lifted her head off the counter she just spotted Jen disappear out of view ..she quickly ran to the window for a better look…

Her heart beating so fast she could hear it….Jen. .she whispered to herself…

The Art Gallery that Hayley ran was busy….buyers were in and out all day….Jen seemed to be much quieter then usual…..sat that the desk making invoices….

You ok Jenny? Hayley asked.

Jen answered with a nod…she didn't even take her eyes off the computer….Hayley wondered around the office for a bit….

I don't know about you but I could do with a sugar fix…Hayley smiled…Might treat everyone to Coffee and Cake…

Jen raised one eyebrow….Oh really…

Yeahh…Hayley said without looking at her friend who is suspicious…

Im sure there's a café round here that delivers …There was a leaflet for it somewhere…Hayley ruffles some paperwork pretending to have a look for it..

Ah there it is….You want anything? She asked Jen…

Jen studied her friend of a few moments. She wanted to read her and see what she was up to yet there was nothing..Hayley just stood engrossed in the leaflet…

Well…She smiled at Jen….

Jen shrugged….Ummm Coffee I guess….

Cake? Hayley asked..

Jen nodded..Yeah I'll have some Carrot cake…

Hayley grimaced…Yuk.,im gonna have a massive piece of Chocolate cake. She muttered as she walked out to let the other workers choice something…

Hayley ran the order through and prayed that Tilly would be the one to deliver….she was pretty sure it was only her and one other person working in the Coffee shop this morning…so it was a 50/50 chance Tilly would be showing up…

30 mins later in walked the Red head…."Hey…she smiled to the girl at reception….I have a delivery from Devlins Coffee….

Oh Tills…..Hayley smiled as she hugged her….I didn't t expect you to be delivering.,..

No I don't usually….but there's only 2 of us working this morning so….She shrugged…

Hayley sent the girl at the front desk to go and help Tilly retrieve the goods from the van while Hayley put the rest of her plan in place…

Jen…the Coffees here…Hannah's helping the delivery bloke with it. Can you pay…I need a wee…get the cash out the safe yeah…She winked as she ran off…

Jen rolled her eyes and heading into the Gallery…her heart stopped and her jaw hit the floor ..there she was. Talking and smiling with Hannah….

Jen wanted to run back into the office but it was to late…

Jen…Tilly gasped. Her jaw also hitting the floor….

Jen swallowed hard…Tilly….she said barely audible…I..

Jen couldn't speak. Her words had left her…she just stood staring at the Red head..

Tilly was struggling herself…She almost forgot how beautiful Jen was…she knew if one of them didn't speak they would be stuck there all day…

I um….im just waiting for someone to pay me...Tilly said trying to play it cool…

Jen wasn't as strong as Tilly she couldn't bring herself round from the shock….

Tilly? Twice in one day? Anyone would think your stalking me…Hayley winked….

Jen shot Hayley a looked…Hayley quickly realising…I didn't realise I was ordering from your place. She giggled..

Mmmmm Tilly pouted…Knowing full well Hayley had planned this…

Hayley had a grin on her face. She was pleased she had finally got the two of them in the same room…

Tills if you go in the office with Jen she will pay you…Hayley said as she started handing out the Coffees…

Jen wasn't amused she didn't like the thought of being tricked…

Tilly handed Jen the Bill….Checking the amount Jen opened the safe trying her hardest no to let Tilly see she was shaking. As she fiddles about counting the money..Tilly cant help but stare at her…Jen had lost a bit of weight but her curves were still as sexy as they always were…Tilly bit her lip before realising what she was doing…

Jen turnt to hand her the money…Here you go…..she said nervously…

Thanks. .Tilly smiled taking the money…So…..?

Jen looked up at the Red head….

So how's things?

Jen nodded….Ok…I mean they are good. .Jen didn't sound convincing…

Good ..Tilly smiled…I better get back to work…Thanks. She added placing the money in her pocket…I better…..

Tilly didn't finish her sentence she just headed out of the office…

Tilly wait…Jen called…She wasn't quite sure what she was going to say but she called out anyways..

Tilly took a deep breath and turnt to face her….Yeah?

Jen's mouth went dry. Her body shaking and her heart beating so fast she prayed it wouldn't jump out of her chest…

How are you? She asked. Them being the only words she could musta up…

Tilly smiled…Im ok Jen….she said softly….

They stood looking at each other for a few moments before Tilly nodded and smiled as she walked away…

Once Tilly made it back to the van she squeezed the stirring wheel so tightly…taking as many breaths as she could…Oh god…oh god….she chanted….Her first encounter with Jen and it was horrendous…so awkward…If Tilly could have rewound the last 5 minutes she would…

Wow…that was a shocker huh? Hayley said bring Jens cake in…Jen was in the mood….

Don't you ever do that to me again. .She fumed grabbing her bag and slamming the door behind her…She was upset…Angry that Hayley had set her up….upset that she wasn't prepared….Angry at herself for letting Tilly walk away….Jen needed so space…leaving work and heading towards the river …Jen always felt at ease around water….her favourite place was to far away now….Crosby beach was where Jen found it easy to think …where her thoughts and feeling would become clear…she didn't have that in London so she had to settle for the Thanes ..as she watches Boats sail up and down she wipes the tears from her eyes…

Hayley was just trying to help…she knew that…she just felt pushed into a situation she wasn't emotionally ready for….

She texted her to let her know she wasn't mad anymore..

Im sorry for shouting at you…xxx

Just need some space…J x

As Jen sat alone with her thoughts she began to giggle…Oh god. She thought to herself. How pathic must she had look to Tilly…stood there with her jaw on the floor…

How are you? After all this time and all I had was how are you? Jen shook her head…

Hayley was right…she did need to talk to Tilly….she had already seen her so if she turned up at the Coffee shop maybe it wouldn't be as awkward as before…

Jen stood up…..Ok Gilmore ..you can do this…..


	4. Chapter 4

Jen took the plunge and walked into the Coffee Shop…Tilly wasn't there…..Jens eyes searched for her but were only met with strange faces…

Hi..can I help you madam…A young girl asked with a huge smile…

Oh…um…I….um….Jen muttered not quite sure what to say…..

I think she may be looking for me….Came a voice behind her that Jen recognised…

Tilly…The girl smiled…Thought you were done for the day?

Yeah I am…forgot my phone…Tilly replied staring at Jen…..So? Is it Coffee or me your after?

Jen swallows hard her head begging her to run out of the Shop as fast as she can…But her feet staying put…Say something Jen…Say something…her inner self was screaming at her…

Taking a deep breath….You…..she answered licking her dry lips…I um…..Tut…I was looking for you…

Tilly nodded and walked behind the counter…disappearing to retrieve her phone.. while she was behind the counter she made herself and Jen a Coffee…..

Do you wanna walk? Or sit? Tilly asked nodding towards an empty table..

Can we walk? Jen asked…she knew if they sat then she would actually have to look at Tilly and she wasn't sure if she had the strength…

As the two walked a little Tilly broke the silence…I don't know about you but I need something a little stronger then this?…she said throwing her Coffee in the bin…

There was once a time when Tilly Evans didn't like Alcohol…Jen smiled…

Yeah well That Tilly isn't around anymore…shell we?….Tilly asked pointing to the pub across the road….

As they found a seat outside in the sunshine Tilly placed her sunglasses on….she didn't speak she just looked in Jens direction…

Jen felt a little uncomfortable….Tillys statement about the old Tilly not being here anymore made Jen feel sad….

Had she killed the person she use to be with all the hurt and pain she had caused…Was this Tilly anything like the old one?

So…You live with Hayley? Tilly says braking the tension ..As she sipped her Wine..

Jen nodded. .Yeah….

Cool ..Tilly added…keeping up with her parting ways are you?

God no…Jen laughed slightly….I leave her to all that….My days of partying are well and truly over…

As the general chit chat went on ..both of them knew they couldn't carry on…they knew their past had to be addressed….

Tilly…Jen swallowed….I came to see you because…..Well….I felt a bit stupid earlier when Hayley set up that little scene….

I mean…How are you? After all this time? Jen shook her head….What I really should of said was Thank you…

Tilly raised her eyebrows..? Thank me? For what?

For what you did….Jen replied…or didn't do….

Tilly knew Jen was referring to her not pressing charges against her…

Smhhh….I'd hardly think its worth a thank you….I mean C'mon Jen ….we made a right mess of things didn't we…?

Yeah…yeah we did…but you …..Well ..I could be in Jail now couldn't I.? Jen sulked…

As Much as I wanted to hurt you…to Punish you….I couldn't go that far….Tilly explained…

If we're gonna sit here and be honest now….You did deserve everything I did to you…And I didn't feel bad about it….

But Jail? Tilly shook her head…You didn't deserve that…..I couldn't let you go to prison for me…..For us…Tilly got up and walked inside the pub….soon returning with a bottle of Wine…..she filled Jen glass…

You know Jen….I can honestly say I never expected to ever be sat in a pub with you like this…not after….Tilly let her words trail off…

Not after I ruined your life you mean? Jen muttered

Well I think we both had a good go at ruining each others…..

Jen felt sick. .The thought of having to go through it all again made her heart hurt…but she had to know…

Tilly? ..Why …..After what I did to you….why didn't you finish me off?

Why I didn't make a statement? Tilly asked…..Your not the only one that wonders that…..

Diane? Jen asked with raised eyebrows…

Tilly nodded…Yup…Diane…Sinead…..Esther…..the list is endless…..Tilly spread her hands on the table tapping it…..

And the answer is? Jen frowned….

Tilly was struggling…she wanted to be honest…she wanted to get this out…Keeping it inside was hard for her…Back Home she couldn't talk about it because her nearest and dearest didn't approve.

.In London she didn't really have anyone she could really really talk to….George was sympatric when they spoke but it wasn't enough….Tilly needed to open up and the only person she could really do that with was sat in front of her…..

Taking a deep breath in and out….she simply replied….Because I loved you….

Jens heart hit the pit of her stomach…Loved? Past tense….she loved me….did this mean she didn't anymore…..?

There was no way I could let you be punished for that….Tilly continued…How could I sit in a court room while they make what we had to be unreal….dirty….wrong…? Tilly shrugged….when it wasn't…

Jen smiled…Hearing Tilly justifying what they had made her feel better…after everything that happened Tilly still believed in what they had….

You mentioned Diane and Sinead? What about your parents? Jen frowned…Im sure they wanted me punished…

Tilly shook her head…Nope….they were upset….upset that something so big was going on in my life that they were unaware of…..Once I explained everything to them…..they decided to support me in what ever decision I chose…

Wow…Jen smiled…you certainly have amazing parents….

Tilly didn't reply to Jen she just stared at her through her dark sun glasses….She couldn't help but admire Jens beauty….Those big brown eyes still mesmerised her…But now it was different..Tilly had to force herself not to fall for it…Not to slip back…

This is such a mess…Jen frowned…..

Yeah well….its in the past now isn't it.. Tilly quipped…best leave it there aye….She added sinking her wine….

Jen was slightly confused at Tillys sudden attitude change….Is it that easy?

Has to be ….Tilly snapped back…Whats the point in reliving it…We have new lives now Jen…you seem to be doing ok…I know I am….Why let the past bring us down…Tilly shrugged…

Tilly was in pain at the words leaving her mouth.. she didn't believe what she was saying she just knew she could sit here forever talking it over trying for closure but knew deep down she was never gonna find it….

As Jen was about to speak Tillys phone rang….

Hey zo….she answered…

Yeah babe im ok…..

Babe? Jen thought …Oh god I was right…she does have a Girlfriend…

No im not doing anything special

Yeah that's ok ..I'll be home soon anyways…

Ok..see you in a bit…Bye…

As Tilly ended her call ..Jen was still reeling from the "Nothing Special" comment…

Im…um…gonna have to go…Tilly smiled…

Jen nodded

It was good to see ya Jen….Tilly said as she stood up….I guess now you know where to find me….Don't be a stranger aye?

Jen smiled. She couldn't speak. She didn't want Tilly to leave. It was to soon…she still wanted to look at her….speak to her…hear her voice….

Bye Jen….Tilly whispered as she walked away…

Jen was left alone heart broken….Tilly really had moved on ..A new life…New Girlfriend….

How was Jen ever gonna except it….

As Jen went to leave she heard her name….It was Tilly running back towards her…

Look….She said slightly out of breath….Oh god im so unfit" . She laughed catching her breath….

There's um…this new Art centre opening up….Maybe we could go….As friends…Tilly shrugged ..I don't have any Arty friends that would want to go with me…so…

Jen passed Tilly a card with her number on…..I'd like….she smiled…

Tilly looked at Jens card with a smile and walked off back in the direction she came….

Jen smiled…She expected that to be the last time she saw Tilly….Was it possible to become friends? Jen wasn't sure…the Friends thing never worked before…but maybe now….maybe?

Who was Jen kidding…she didn't want to be Tilly's friend. .She wanted to wrap her up in her arms and hold her forever…But with Tilly having a Girlfriend she knew that wasn't possible…

As she looked down at Tillys number…she felt tears well up in her eyes….Friends would be to hard…she thought…Could she stand to see Tilly with someone else?

Jen knew it was impossible to feel happy for Tilly…To be glad she's moved on….Jen took one last look at the paper before screwing it up and putting it in the bin….

She had to let go….


	5. Chapter 5

It was Friday morning Jen was glad the week was over…a few days had past since her meeting with Tilly…She had explained the whole situation to Hayley …and told her that she threw away Tillys number because she couldn't handle her emotions….

As the two of them headed to work…Hayley wanted to stop at the Coffee shop….

Oh C'mon Jen….we cant stay long anyways we'll be late for work..

No H….There are like 20 Coffee shops down this road why do you insist on going to Tillys….

Because…Hayley moaned. They do the best Coffee….

Jen muttered under her breath and followed Hayley down Devlin road…You know what? She said as she stopped…I cant….you go and ill meet you at work….

Hayley didn't argue as she walked into the shop she was greeted by Tilly…Hello…

Hi Tills…2 Large Lattes please…Hayley ordered..

2 ? You thirsty? Tilly joked..

Hayley laughed ..Nah ones For Jen..shes gone on ahead…

What just? Tilly asked.

Hayley nodded…

Tilly quickly ran past Hayley and out on to the street…searching for Jen….spotting her half way down the road she calls out…Jen…..Jen wait…

As Jen turnt around she sighed…Oh god…please…not today…

As Tilly approached her she bent down…

Out of breath again? Jen smiled..

Tilly nodded…I was actually gonna text you…..

Really? Jen said slightly more high pitched then she had expected…

Yeah…Tilly nods. Catching her breath….That Art thing is on tonight….

As she explained where and when it was Hayley reached them….

That's cool Tillys I got my own Coffee…

Tilly winked at her…and turnt back to Jen…

So do you wanna go?

Um…..I…..well….she couldn't get her words out…

Go where? And where's my invite? Hayley asked seeing Jen struggling..

Oh its this Art event that's opening tonight…Tilly explained…I was saying to Jen the other day I had no one to go with

Hayley thought maybe this was the perfect opportunity to find out who the mysterious girl was…

What about that girl you were with the other day ..Is she not into it…..

Tilly looked slightly uncomfortable …Umm…nah…she isn't…That's why I asked Jen….she said quickly changing the subject…

So? I mean if your busy its cool….Tilly smiled..

No….Im not busy…Jen smiled…

Tilly grinned at her…cool…so I'll meet you there…say 7?

Great we will see you there then….Hayley smiled linking Jens arm…We have to get to work…

Tilly nodded…Ok see ya later then…

As Jen and Hayley hurried off…..Jen shook her head…She defiantly has a Girlfriend…did you see her face when you mentioned that girl…

Why do you care…Not bothering if I remember correctly…and come to think of it why are you going out with her if you cant deal with the situation…Hayley asked..

What was I suppose to say? Jen moaned…I was put on the spot….

Hayley sympathized…Well I have no plans tonight so if you want me to come I will…

Jen leant her head on her friends shoulder…Thank you….

Tilly was at home getting ready when Zoë stopped by…So are you coming out? She called out as she headed into Tillys room…

Wowzers Tills…..Where are you going looking all fine and sexy….

Tilly blushed. Shut up…..

Please tell me you've dressed up for me? Zoë playfully joked…

You wish…Tilly laughed…Besides im not dressed up….Im just going to an Art thing…

Not dressed up? Zoë said as she sat on the bed next to Tilly….Well if this is under dressed I cant wait to see you at your best….

Zoë was bi-sexual…or so she told Tilly….But Tilly was unsure…She had only ever seen Zoë date Boys and drunkenly kiss a few random women….

So who are you going with? Zoë asked…

Tilly shrugged…A girl from work…

Which one? Zoë asked…

Tilly forgot Zoë knew all her work friends…Oh…um…She's new….work experience thing…

Oh I see…..Well. You look amazing…Zoë said giving Tilly the thumbs up…Im off…text me when your done and meet me out….

Tilly agreed as she looked in the mirror…

Maybe she was a little over dressed….She didn't want Jen to think it was for her…or that she was trying to impress….

Wiping off her lipstick she settled for a light lip gloss…that's better….

Jen was in the same predictament..She had changed 3 times…

Jen for god sakes…Hayley whinged….Wear the skirt and cardigan….it looks fine…we'll be late….

Ok OK…Im ready..

Are you? Hayley smiled…

No…Jen smiled…

The two make their way across London to meet Tilly…as they arrived there she was stood alone.. Looking at her watch…

Here we are….Sorry we're late Tills…Hayley smiled…As she hugged Tilly…

Tilly and Jen stood arkward..neither knowing if it was ok to hug each other or not….

So do we need tickets for this….? Hayley asked…

Nope…Tilly smiled ..I already have them….

As the 3 walk around Hayley spots a friend from Art school and headed off to catch up leaving Jen alone with Tilly…

Tilly laughed as they stood looking at a Grant Wood painting…the painting is called American gothic…

Whats so funny? Jen asked..

This painting…It makes me laugh…Maddie use to tease me saying the old people looked like my Grandparents….

Jen noticed a little sadness behind Tillys smile….You must Miss her….she said carefully…

Everyday…Tilly whispered back….

So favourite painting so far? She asked changing the subject…

Ummmmmmmm Jen muttered looking around….I don't know there's so much talent here…Its hard to chose…

What about this one…Tilly asked pointing to a painting of a silhouette stood on a beach…As Jen looked closer she recognised the sculpture…It was Antony Gormley's ….The painting was of Crosby beach….

Wow…Jen was taken back by the memories….It um….certainly has something…

Not reductive then? Tilly asked nudging Jen…

Jen laughed ..You are never gonna let me live that down are you?…

Nope…Tilly grinned as she walked off..

Hayley had made pretty sure she kept her distance from the pair as they moved around the room talking about each painting…Hayley watched for a while…she shook her head …It was a shame …she thought. .The chemistry between them was electric….How can they not over come the past and make a go of things….

Hayley knew not to push them….her last attempted didn't go so well…She had to leave it down to fate…

Once the event was over Hayley suggested they stop off for Lunch…Tilly checked the time…

Tilly probably has somewhere else she needs to be? Jen muttered..

Ummm….No its…Um…its cool….I just need to make a call….

As Tilly walked away to use her phone Jen shoved Hayley…What did you do that for?

What? Im Hungry..Hayley shrugged…

Jen shook her head…H I know you mean well…but seriously…..

Jen….Hayley interrupted…I only suggest lunch. Its not like I asked her if she wants you back is it?

Jens jaw dropped…

Hayley raised her eyes brows…Will you just chill out….

As Tilly arrived back she smiled…I hope you don't mind…A friend of mines gonna join us…?

We have plans later…

Jen instantly didn't want to be there…A" Friend"…A friend was the last thing she wanted to see right now…

That's cool with us isn't it Jen?

Jen nodded forcing a smile…..

As the 3 of them found a table at a near by bar…Jen excused herself to use the bathroom…

So you and Jen seem to be getting on" ? Hayley mentioned as she looked through the Menu…

Tilly pouted at her…Yeah I guess…..I mean its strange ..you know to see her again…but….I guess we are all Adults…

Hayley nodded…So Friends huh?

Tilly shrugged….it's a work in progress…

Hayley put her Menu down..Ok lets get serious ….What are your thoughts?

Tilly looked down at the table….I don't know H….I cant let me guard down again…I don't think im strong enough to do it all over again…

Yeah But…Hayley started only to notice Jen walking back….

So…have you decided what your having? Jen asked…

Still looking ..Tilly smiled…

Tillllllllllllllllllly? Was the noise that came belting across the bar…

Tilly smiled waving the women over…

As Zoë approached the table she moaned….God I thought you were never gonna text me…

Smmmmh…Thought you were meeting friends..Tilly frowned..

Yeah I did ..Until they started talking Uni crap…I Know now why its called Uni life…..Why do people constantly talk about school when they are socialising?

Jen again forced a smile…..

Tilly noticing it had gone quiet…

Oh Umm….Guys this is Zoë….Zoë….This is Jen and Hayley….

Hi…Zoë smiled…Pleasssssssse don't tell me your gonna talk about work the whole time? She laughed..

Work? Hayley asked..

Yeah….Zoë nodded…One of you works with Tills don't ya…?

Tilly shuffled in her seat…..No..Um….these guys are friends from back home….

Oh..Zoe frowned confused…But you said you were going out with a work mate?

What? Tilly said shaking her head ….no….Um…lets go get some drinks. She said pushing Zoë out of her seat…

Jen looked at Hayley ..Hayley looked at Jen….."Friend from work? Jen repeated..

Hayley pulled a face….Maybe she just doesn't want her friend knowing her business…

Or…Jen sulked…She doesn't Want her Girlfriend knowing she was meeting up with her Ex?

Hayley…do we really have to st….

Shhh.! .They're coming back….Hayley Whispered…

Tilly had brought a few bottles of Wine …I got red and white" ..she smiled…

As they sat eating their meals and chatting Jen was struggling with the situation…Zoë was very touchy feely with Tilly…it was hard to see someone freely doing what she had always wanted to do…

So how exactly do you 3 know each other? Zoë asked…

Jen shot Tilly a glance….Tilly looked like a dear in headlights…

Swallowing hard Tilly sipped her Wine….I ..um….use to do Art event stuff when I was in Collage….These two are …Um….Well..Hayley runs a Gallery…So…..

Zoë frowned…Tilly didn't actually answer her question…Oooooook….she shrugged Looking at Hayley as if to ask what Tilly had Just said…

So Zoë…? What are you studying? Hayley asked trying to easy the tension…

Me? Not much really…Zoë laughed….Nah Im studying in paediatrics…Im so immature I thought I might as well become a kid Doctor. She joked…

The rest laughed along…

Jen and Tilly were quieter then the other two…Zoë led most of the conversation….

As she spoke Jen couldn't help but glance over at Tilly …Each time she did she was met with those beautiful emerald eyes….

So Jen? What do you do? Zoë asked with a big smile on her face….

Jen works with Hayley ..Tilly butted in…Like she was afraid of Jen speaking….

Oh….cool…..And you live here in London now?

Jen nodded and smiled…Yeah…yeah I do…

You don't sound like your from up north? Zoë noticed…

Nope…Im from London…I moved to Chester for work….Jen explained…

Jens an Art Teacher…Hayley added…A great on at that….she said looking over at Tilly

Tilly gave her half a smile…Yeah she is…

Wow…That's cool…Zoë grinned…Im not really creative so that Painting stuff goes right over my head…Tills place is full of drawings…Oh sorry…Art…Tilly moans when I say their drawings. Don't ya Tills?

Well you know Art isn't just about Paintings…Jen explained…Its everywhere…

Yeah well unless it comes in a cocktail glass ..Zoë joked cutting Jen off….

This annoyed Tilly…she found It mesmerising when Jen spoke about Art and her passion….

Tilly gave Jen a reassuring smile….A smile as if to say. I know what you mean even if she doesn't…

So Tills have you invite your friends to the party? Zoë asked…

Oh….Tillys jaw dropped….

Party? Hayley asked…

Yeah Tillys Birthday party….Tomorrow? Zoë informed them….

As all eyes fell of Tilly she became slightly uncomfortable…Im sure these guys are busy…She said trying to shake off Zoë's question…

Well you wont know unless you ask. Zoë said shaking her head at Jen and Hayley…Whats she like?

Zoë explained how she was throwing Tilly a birthday party at a local bar ..

Jen was a little confused because Tillys birthday wasn't for another 3 weeks…

So it's a bit early because the bars full booked and Tills is going home for her birthday. So…if you guys haven't other plans you should come…

Im not sure what were doing yet? Hayley shrugged…But if were not busy we might pop in..

Zoë tapped the table….Sweet…so im gonna go to the loo…..

Tilly watched as Zoë walked away ..turning back to the table ….I would of invited you…She muttered…

Its ok Tilly…Jen said…..

But? Hayley asked….

Jen nudged her under the table….

Well…..I just didn't think you guys would want to hang out with a load of overly drunk Uni students…Tilly explained feeling like a told of child…

Your right…Jen said firmly…It isn't really my thing….She checked her watch…Um….We're gonna have to go….I need to be somewhere….

Hayley didn't argue she knew Jen was uncomfortable …It was a nice day though aye?

Tilly nodded..Yeah it was …

Jen stood up grabbing her bag she wanted to get out of the bar as quickly as possible..

Thanks for the invite and that…Say bye to your friend for us….

As Jen and Hayley hurried outside. .Tilly called Jens name…..

Catch me up…Hayley smiled squeezing Jens arm….

Listen….Tilly started…..Thanks for coming today….I enjoyed it…

Jen nodded…Yeah it good…You know the Art and that….

Tilly smiled…You know if I thought you would of wanted to come I would of invited you….You know to my party…

Its ok Tilly…..Jen shrugged…

Will you come? Tilly asked…

Jen looked into her eyes….As much as she didn't want to have to endure another moment like she just did …she knew she wanted to see Tilly again…..

Tilly….I….Just…..

I know it isn't really your thing…But….well I would like you and H to come….Bring some friends if you want? Tilly offered…Please..?Tilly pouted

Jen couldn't resist that beautiful face…..Ok….Ok…we'll pop by…


	6. Chapter 6

After Much persuasion from Hayley Jen reluctantly goes along to Tillys party….20 years old….the last 3 years seem to have flown by….

Tilly was months away from her 17th birthday when Jen had met her…

I have a feeling this is a bad idea H…Jen sighed as she entered the party…

To late know babes…We're here. She said waving at Tilly..

Hey…you made it..Tilly smiled as she Hugged Hayley….Tilly had a few drinks down her and felt slightly braver…

Im glad you came…She said as she hugged Jen…

Jen inhaled her. The smell of her perfume and her hair engulfed Jen….She felt like she didn't want to let go…

Let me get you a drink..Tilly smiles…

No hell no Tillys…Its your party. we'll get you one….Or 10...Hayley winked..

As the 3 of them headed to the bar Jen couldn't take her eyes of Tilly ..she wore a little black dress. It hugged her body beautifully….Her hair tied in a bow…Her lips a plush red and her eyes glisten under the disco lights…

Hayley brought a round of drinks and a line of shots…Cheers. She toasted as she sunk her share…

As they stand drinking the sprites…Zoë…approaches…Tillys come over here…There's some people that want to see you…

Zoë. You remember Jen and Hayley. Tilly calls out over the music..

Yeah..Zoe smiles…Hi….C'mon…She says dragging Tilly off…

Was it as bad as you thought?Hayley asks..

Would be so much easier if she didn't look so damn good..Jen moans as she downs a shot…

I say we stay an hour then leave…She added..

Hayley agreed ..ok but while we're here lets get wasted…Hayley says passing Jen another shot…

Jen clinked her glass on to Hayley's in agreement and swallowed it hard…

As Hayley and Jen watch Tilly mingling Hayley leans in….Hey Whats your views on that Zoë? Hayley asks as she notices she hasn't left Tills side all night…

Jen shrugged…I don't know. She defiantly doesn't like it when Tillys attention isn't on here….

Mmmmm Hayley nodded…Don't like her…

Jen laughed. You cant say that. You don't know her….

Don't care..Hayley shrugged. Don't like her…Do you?

Jen laughed..Nope…

Hayley giggled…you cant say that…

Fuck it..Jen laughed ordering more drinks..

Half an hour later Tilly makes her way back to the bar…

Hey sorry guys…She apologise..

No Need Red. Its your party….Hayley winked..

I know but I invited you…I just couldn't get away….Tilly explained..

Its fine Tilly…Jen said as she ran her eyes over Tillys body. This hadn't gone unnoticed by Tilly….as Jen reached her face she looked into her eyes….They both feeling brave enough to hold their stare….

Tilly felt her heart skip a beat….

C'mon…drink up..Hayley said nudging Jen…

Tilly smiled as Jen looks to the floor then back up to her again…

Tilllly…Zoë shouted..

Oh god..Hayley moaned….

Shhh " Jen laughed..

Tills this is our tunnnnnnne..come dance….Zoë said pulling Tilly..

Nah Zoë not right now..Tilly said shrugging her off…

Tillllllly…Please…..

Zo…I said not right now…Tilly sulked…

Zoë wasn't overly pleased That Tilly had knocked her back….For what she felt were strangers…

Sorry..shes drunk…Tilly explains….

The 3 of them laugh and joke as Hayley plies then with more and more alcohol…Jen and Tilly cant help but exchange glances…Hayley noticing every time…The chemistry between the two was electric…

So..Tillys when is your actual Birthday ? Hayley asks…

Oh um…3 weeks…But im gonna be with my parents. So Zoë…Tilly emphasised rolling her eyes insisted on having this party…

Hayley nodded…Oh well any excuse to have a party..Hayley toasted…

Some of Tillys friends were leaving so she excused herself to say good bye…

Fuck me Jen. Hayley said. You can cut the sexual chemistry between the two of you with a knife….

Your drunk…Was Jens reply…Im going to the bathroom…She said as she walked off…

In The Toilets Jen is stuck talking to Zoë….So Jen I wanted to ask you something? Zoë says she she applies her lip-gloss…

Ok…Jen frowns…

Is there anything going on between you and Tills? She asks….Causing Jens jaw to hit the floor..?

Oh…Ummm….Jen swallows…

Its just well…..I like Tills….Zoë explains as she turns to face Jen….I was thinking maybe of like asking her out…on a date…But im not one for stepping on peoples toes if you know what I mean?…

Those words hurt Jens ears…The thought of Tilly dating made her feel sick…

Why do you ask that?

No reason…Zoë smiled…Its well…I don't know…Maybe I imagined it but I thought I saw something …You know at the pub that day I first met you?…Like a spark between you…..I thought maybe Tilly was keeping secrets…

I know your old friends so I just wondered….? Zoë continued…

Jen swallowed hard…Would it be ok to tell Zoë to back off..? To tell her She couldn't have Tilly because she was Jens…

No it wouldn't be ok….It wasn't Jens place anymore…As Much as she hated the fact this conversation was happening….She knew it wasn't right for her to stop Tilly moving on….

Looking down at the floor…Jen muttered…Tilly and I are just friends…

Ouch. That hurt her deeply to say those words. The awful taste it left behind….

Good…Zoë said happily…..Thanks Jen…she smiled as she skipped out of the toilets..

Jen grabbed the sink to steady herself…She knew it was a bad idea to come tonight….Taking some deep breaths she left the bathroom…

The first thing she sees is Zoë dancing With Tilly…Tilly was smiling and Laughing. She really had moved on….she was happy…

Jen rushed over to Hayley picking her bag up…I need to get out of here…

What? Why..Hayley worried..

I just do…H…ok…Jen panicked..

Ok…well lets say bye to Tills….Hayley suggested..

No…I cant…Look you stay. I'll met you at home..Jen said as she hurried out of the bar…

Jen? Hayley shouted….Jen?

Tilly noticed Jen leave…She ran over to Hayley…Where's Jen gone?

Hayley didn't really know the reason Jen rushed off but she knew it wasn't good….She also knew she didn't want to worry Tilly..

Oh she um…Has an early start…Hayley lied…

Tilly frowned..Oh….And she didn't say goodbye because?

Umm…Hayley stuttered…I think she …..well you were dancing. You know Jen..she didn't want to interrupt…

Oh right..Tilly said sadly….

Hayley said her goodbyes and headed home….

She asked me…Can you believe it..Jen said as she paced the floor…..I mean why would she want to date Tilly? They have been friends for ages..? Why now?

Hayley shrugged. I Dunno babe. But I know Tilly was a little sad you didn't say bye…

Jen placed her hands on her hips. And sighed…Im no good at this H…..She shook her head…I don't like this feeling…She looked amazing tonight….

And all I wanted to do was touch her…Tell her how good she looked….Instead I get stuck in the toilets with her idiot friend ..telling her Tilly means nothing to me…I felt like I was encouraging her to ask her out…Im not sure I can be her friend…I think I need to stay away…

Tilly led on her bed…Oh my god…My feet kill…..

Ha…stop moaning. Zoë says as she lie next to her….

Good party yeah? She asks..

Tilly nods…Yep..Thanks Zo….

That's ok…Zoë smiles as she kisses Tilly…

Tilly instantly pushes her away…What you doing? She asks in shock…

Oh..Um..I don't know. Zoë…replies realising she might have made a mistake…

Zo…..?

Look Tills…I know were mates and that but well….I like you. Zoë explained…I like you a lot..

Oh no..Tilly thought this is all I need…

Zo…me and you. Were friends…

Yeah but…well maybe we can be more. I mean we get on great. Zoë smiled…

Tilly nodded…Yeah we do…And that's why we cant be more…Babe. I love you…but as a friend. I mean I haven't had one since Maddie…I don't want to ruin it….And believe me you don't want my baggage..Tilly jokes…Im just not in a good place right now to be thinking of dating someone…Even more so now Jens back in my life…

Jen? Zoë frowned. What does she have to do with it.?

Tilly looked a little confused then she realised she hadn't exactly told Zoë about her relationship…Only bits and pieces..

Zoë…..Jens my Ex….The one I told you about..

What? Zoë asked shocked..Shes the one

Tilly nodded…Yep…And now she's back in my life im all confused…I don't know what I want. Or how I feel. About her…The situation ,,,the past….

Well that's really shocked me. Because well…I asked Jen at the party if there was anything going on between you two…she said you were nothing but friends "

Did she? Tilly frowned…

Yeah…practically told me to go for it….

Tilly didn't understand. Why would Jen do that? Was she feeling ok about their friendship? Was she over Tilly? Did she feel as confused and scared as Tilly?

So. Say if Jen wasn't around? Zoë asked….You would so date me wouldn't you? She joked..

Tilly rolled her eyes…Yeah in a heart beat…She winked..

As Tilly lay in the dark all she can think about was Jen…..She needed to know what Jens thoughts and feeling were…

They had to talk…


	7. Chapter 7

Tilly woke with the worst hang over…stumbling to the sink to get a glass of water she sighed heavily…

Oh god Im dying…She moaned.. causing Zoë to laugh..

Well you did drink the bar dry last night…

Tilly grumbled with a nod as she drank her glass of water…The cold hitting the back of her throat making her feel better…..

Look Tills….Zoë said almost whispered….About last night?

Tilly shook her hand…Its ok Zo…Lets put it down to to much booze…..Tilly smiled as she dived back into bed….

I Dunno what came over me if im honest…I defiantly was drunk and….well….Your right ….about the friendship thing…I wouldn't want to ruin it either…

Tilly nudged Zo to reassure her they were ok…..Good…..Plus your way better looking then me and I don't like that….

Zo flicked her hair….Naturally…she joked…

As the friends lay in bed laughing about the night before…Zoë senses Tilly is miles away…

Soo…? The Jen thing? Wanna talk about it? She asked genuinely…

Tilly sighed biting her lip…..breathing out heavily she smiled…I don't know Zo…Its all a bit of a mess if im honest…..

Talk to me then? Zoë smiled….I can listen…..might help….

Tilly nodded and turnt to face her friend….she didn't want to go all the way back to her past she didn't want to relive the pain. So she decided to leave a lot out….Jen being her teacher being one of them…

Basically….she began…Jen and I were together when we both lived in Chester….she obviously is a bit older then me…..

We kinda kept it quiet…people where I come from are quick to judge…we didn't want to give them all something to talk about…

Plus Jen lived with one of my friends and her Mum worked at my Collage…

I guess it got to much….especially when her brother showed up…he made it hard for Jen…..

So what happened? Zoë asked…

I wanted us to leave Chester…..well the country…Tilly laughed seeing now what a stupid idea it was…

I got us tickets to go travelling….But instead of coming with me ..she dumped me…

Why? Zoë frowned…..

Tilly sighed heavily…feeling her heart weaken at the memory of that day….Its just to complicated Zo…I don't really want to go into it…

Cut along story short….After my friends died….we kinda rekindled things a little….Didn't last long though….

My friend took and overdose of pills and Alcohol..….Tilly began to feel her eyes water remembering …

Jen and I….we saw her the night she did it….But we were so wrapped up in each other we left her alone…..I couldn't forgive myself for what happened to her….I blamed Jen…I blamed myself….

Wow….Zoë was surprised..Tilly never really spoke about home….She had told Zoë all about Maddie and the rest and how hard it was when they died…but that way about it….Hearing how hard Tilly had it was new to Zoë…..

It just ruined things…We became cold and spiteful to each….Tilly sniffed…We both said so god awful things…I even slapped her…

She left Chester and I didn't see her again till Hayley walked into the Coffee shop earlier this week…..

Fuck…that's a whole lot of drama…Zoë pouted….Your friend…Um…did she…You know..

Tilly shook her head…No…thank god…She pulled through. After a liver transplant….She's better now….

After a few moments of silence Tilly shook off the wave of emotion…Anyway….Now she's back in my life and I don't know how I feel about it…..

Well…there's obviously feelings still there…Zoe said….I mean I noticed a spark between you both that day I first met her….

Really? Tilly frowned…

Uh huh…Zoe nodded…The way you both looked at each other….That's why I asked Jen…..

Yeah and she told you we were friends. .Tilly moaned

I mean after everything we've been through….

Maybe she feels as weird about the whole thing as you do….Zoe shrugged…Plus she doesn't look like the kinda girl that would blurt out her life story to so random stranger in the toilets …

Tilly sat up….I need to speak to her. .But…Im not sure how…I mean…I don't know what to say….

Say what you feel " Zoe smiled..

Yeah if I knew….Tilly frowned….Maybe I can text her….

Chicken….Zoe giggled..

Yup…Tilly laughed pulling the blankets over her head…Now back to feeling sorry for myself….This hangover is not good…..

Well lets not stay here all day…lets get up and get some breakfast…Zoe suggested..

Hayley watched as Jen sits on the sofa sketching…

So?…

So? Jen repeated not stopping what she was doing….

So….are you just gonna leave Tilly to get on with things? Hayley asked

Jen nodded…I think its best…

For who? You? Hayley said shaking her head…Or for Her?….

Jen shrugged…We tried the friend think….Its not working out…Im never gonna be ok with seeing her with someone else…so…..She trailed off….not really wanting to talk about Tilly again today…Ever since Hayley first bumped into her its all Jen could think about..

Hayley nodded placing her Coffee cup in the sink…Yeah your right. .I mean you have to think of your own feelings….I mean hers don't matter…..not that you know exactly what's going on in her head …Good for you Jen…Hayley said sarcastically…Patting Jen on the shoulder as she headed out of the flat…

Jen rolled her eyes. .Hayley was never one to feed Jens ego…If she thought Jen was in the wrong ..she would tell her.. She had a habit of being brutally honest with Jen.,.. even if it meant offending her…

H….Jen called out…But Hayley ignored her…..Jen knew Hayley was right…She was thinking of her self…..If Zoe was going to ask Tilly out and Tilly agreed it would be nothing Jen didn't deserve…..

As Jen sits in a pool if thoughts a message comes through…

Coffee? T

Jen read the message and instantly noticed there were no Kisses at the end….Tilly was asking to meet up …

Oh god…Jen thought.. What is she going to tell me?… Oh god she's gonna tell me about Zoe….Jen shook the thought away…

If Tilly was about to tell her all the things she dread then today wasn't the day…Jen just wasn't ready….

Hi Tilly…

Would love to but need to wait in today

Some other time though? J…..x

Jen deleted the kiss a few times debating if it was appropriate or not…Pressing the X button for the last time…It didn't feel right to Jen to leave it out…

With a big sigh Jen went back to her sketching…At least if she is engrossed in her Art then Tilly would only pop into her head every other minute. Rather then every second..

Her phone beeped again…She just assumed it would be Tilly saying it was ok that she couldn't make it….

That's ok….

I'll come to you then!

Say 30mins? T

Jen closed her eyes…Oh god. She whispered…

She couldn't exactly make up another excuse now…..Her and Tilly were going to be alone and talking even if Jen wasn't ready for what Tilly had to say…..

Ok…See you then…J x

Oh no…Jen moaned to herself…..


	8. Chapter 8

Jen had a quick tidy round the flat making it look presentable…she didn't want a thing out of place….she had just enough time to rushed into the bedroom to top up her make up and redo her hair…When the door knocked…

Taking a quick look in the mirror and a deep breath Jen opened the door…

Hey….Tilly smiled ..as she stood with a carton of milk in her hand…..I kinda thought its probably to early for wine…she giggled shaking the milk…

Jen laughed under her breath…..sensible….she said as she opened the door wide enough to let Tilly pass…

Yup…that's me…plus I have the hang over from hell. .so…Tilly shrugged as she took a seat at the table…

Coffee? Jen asked…

Yeah cool…Tilly replied…I um…thought id come over to see if your ok..?

You left pretty sharpish last night….

Oh yeah..sorry…I umm….Jen stuttered..

Oh its ok…Tilly smiled…Hayley said…why you left….

Jen raised her eye brows…

Yeah she said you felt a little ill…Tilly said lying to see what Jens reaction was…Hayley had said that Jen an early start yet it was 12pm and she was still home….

Oh yeah….Um….I came over all dizzy. .Jen explained…It was probably all them shots H plied me with….

Jen had her back to Tilly while she made the Coffees…

Mmmmmmm yeah…Tilly nodded watching Jens reaction when she said…..I thought maybe it was because your felt uncomfortable…

Jen stopped stirring…Uncomfortable? …..um…no….its…um…

Yeah…uncomfortable…Tilly interrupted as she walked over to stand by Jens side..

you know after what Zoe had said? ..Tilly added biting her bottom lip…..

Jen looked at Tilly out of the corner of her eye…..she was unsure what to say….She just handed Tilly the cup…

We need to talk Jen! Tilly told her….

Jen sat at the table…Look Tilly…

Can I go first? Tilly intupted…please…..

Jen just sat silently…Here we go ..She thought …

Ok so…..Tilly started….Zoe tried to kiss me last night…

Oh…Jen frowned…The thought of another persons lips on Tilly made her feel sick…

Yeah oh…I was slightly shocked. .I mean we are friends and that ..I didn't even know she had them kinda feeling towards me…But then you already knew that….Did you? She asked Jen..

Jen looked at Tilly then to the table….

I must admit I was a little shocked….

Jen nodded ..yeah well…if you wasn't expecting it then….

No I mean. I was a little shocked that you told her we were just friends…Tilly corrected her

Jens eyes shot up into the direction of those beautiful emerald eye that were staring straight back at her….

I…..Jen licked her lips…all of a sudden her throat went dry…Tilly…I ..Jen shook her head in defeat she had no words…..

Tilly nodded….Zoe was surprised when I explained who you really were….You know after you "told her to go for it" …Tilly frowned…

What? No…Jen gasped. .Tilly I didn't say that….I just…..well she asked…

Asked what?

Jen closed her eyes…She asked if anything was going on between us.,..

And you said? Tilly asked..

Jen stood up looking out of the window….What was I suppose to say? Nothing is going on with us because I made a mess of everything? Or nothing is going on because I constantly made mistakes and hurt her over and over again?

Jen folded her arms and looked to the floor…I didn't know how much she knew Tilly…About you….us…your life…

Tilly sat silent…She expected Jen to be closed ..she thought she would have to push Jen to talk.. When in fact Jen blurted it all out….

Jen expected Tilly to speak ..when she didn't she turnt to face her…..How can you even bare to look at me?

Because trying not to is harder…Tilly said with a little laugh…I don't know what's going on here Jen…

I don't know what im suppose to think or feel….

Well im glad its not just me then" Jen added…..

Tilly shook her head…Ever since H walked into my work I haven't been able to think of anything but our past…..So many nights I use to think of you…Wonder where you were? If you were ok? If you had moved on?

As time went on my days got better…Sometimes I could go for a whole day with out you crossing my mind…Now…

Now? Jen repeated….

Smmmmh….Now…its every second ..minute…hour…of my day…..And the worst thing is Jen….I don't even know how I feel….

About me? Jen asked turning away from Tilly…If Tilly was about to tell her she's over her she couldn't see her face….

You….Me…..the past…Now….Tilly explained…All I know is…We were horrible horrible people…Our lies effected so many lives….…I mean….Esther being one

Esther wasn't our fault Tilly…..Jen snapped…Look I know you blame us…and yes we could of prevented it…That night….But .Esther was going to take that over dose with or without our intervention…

Tilly nodded. I know…I know…Doesn't stop me from feeling guilty…..

Tilly held a lot of hate for herself and Jen over Esther….But it slowly changed when Esther explained that. She would have tried again had they stopped her…

Jen can you sit please..Tilly asked….

Jen does as she was asked but kept her head low ..this time fiddling with her hands….I know I can never make it right….I cant take back what happened Tilly..

I know….Tilly agreed. ".Your not meant to…..that's how life works….people are meant to have regrets….

Jen looked up…Am I one of yours? She asked. .Instantly wishing she hadn't …

Tilly took a few moments to answer…No…As bad as things got….Still no…..

Although I still hold a lot of anger …Im mad at you Jen….Im angry that you changed…..right at the end I barely recognised you…That Jen…..My Jen ..she whispered…she was gone….

I was scared Tilly…Jen answered wiping tears away….Even I didn't recognise myself….

Tilly could see Jen still struggled with her part in their past….As Jen sat their emotional all Tilly wanted to do was hole her and tell her things are ok…

But she couldn't ..because things weren't ok..they were far from ok…..

I don't know Whats happening…Jen sniffed…

Well im the last person to ask…Tilly laughed…All I do know is…has hard as it is seeing you ...its even harder not to..

What do you mean ? Jen asked finally looking at her…

I mean…one part of me thinks that my life was going ok before I saw you again…And the other part of me thinks if I let you go your own way now….I'll always kick myself about it….

What a mess…Jen muttered..

Ok look…Tilly said confidently moving chairs so she is closer to Jen…..The way I see it is…Neither of us are in the right frame of mind to even think about an Us…..Its to raw Jen…..But….I would like to try and be friends…..If that's what you would like…..?

Those words cut Jen deeply.."Friends"….I hate that word/Jen thought but she knew exactly what Tilly was saying…

Friends I can do..Jen said forcing a smile…

Tilly smiled back…Feels like déjà vu….I don't know if this will work Jen but….we will see…Im not saying we should live in each others pockets…But maybe A Coffee now and again…An Art show?…

Jen nodded….Ok…..Was all Jen could come up with

As Tilly left she lent on the door. With her eyes closed…That was the hardest conversation she ever had…

On the other side of the door..Jen slide down on to the floor…Tears lace her cheeks…."Friends?


	9. Chapter 9

It had been 2 weeks since Jen and Tilly spoke. They had exchanged a few pleasant "How are you texts" But that was it….

Jen woke up early With Tilly on her mind…grabbing her phone she sent her a text before heading into the shower…

As Tilly Lay awake with a heavy heart…This time of year was the worst for her…As her phone beeps she sighs. Thinking its Zoe being her happy self…Tilly just wasn't in the mood….

I know what today is…

Im here if you need someone…J…xxx

Today was the second anniversary of Maddie, .Jono and Neil's death….Tilly missed them everyday But this day was always hard….She was especially upset at the fact she was miles away from home and couldn't visit them….

She smiled at the fact Jen remembered and thought of her…As Nice as her concerns were Tilly didn't want to be around anyone today…

Zoe turnt up an hour later….So I was thinking me and you should go get all blurry eyed…My Mum has pissed me off big time….

Not today Zo. .Tilly said shaking her head..

Oh c'mon Tills….Its pay day…it's the law….Zoe moaned…

I said not today Zo…Tilly snapped….Instantly feeling bad…Look Babe…I didn't mean to snap but its not a good day for me today…..

Zoe frowned ..why?

Tilly shook her head….She had spoke about Maddie often to Zoe and her forgetting upset Tilly…

Just having a bad day…..Tilly shrugged…I just want to be on my own….Do you mind?

Zoe shook her head…Nope if you want me to Piss off. .I will.. she winked…

Zoe left Leaving Tilly alone with her thoughts ...taking a photo of herself and Maddie she climbed back into bed…

Mmmmm Now what would you say if you were here? She asked looking at Maddie's smiling face…

You would say…Babes Jens a bitch stay away from her…Tilly laughed..

Then you would remind me your much hotter then her….Tilly laughed again…

But then I would explain how much I feel for her and you would roll your eyes tell me im crazy…Then promise to be here when it all goes wrong…Tilly hugged the photo….God I need you here now….

Tilly stayed holding the photo for the next few hours…

Jen mopped around work…checking her phone every few minutes….

Ok C'mon…Your doing my head in/…Whats up? Hayley asked…And I've had 5 "Nothing im fine" all ready this morning…So out with it…

Its Tilly…..Jen muttered…Im worried about her…

Why? Hayley frowned..

Today is the anniversary of her friends death….Jen sighed…I texted her but she hasn't replied….

Hayley nodded…Poor Tilly…..have you tried calling her?

Jen frowned…No…I don't think we're there yet. .I mean we swap texts but that's it…..I just don't like the thought of her being alone …not today..

Well maybe she isn't alone? Maybe Zo…

Yes thank you…Jen said cutting Hayley off….Im aware she may have company…But if I know Tilly she doesn't..

So go there? Hayley shrugged…

What? No….Jen gasped…

Why not? If you know her so well….Go there offer her some company…Hayley dared…

Jen contemplated Hayley's idea…She would have text me if she wanted me…

Yeah maybe….Or…Maybe she's just stubborn..Hayley said handing Jen her coat.

Jen pulled up outside Tillys….She sat in the car for what seemed like hours Just staring up at Tillys window….

She wondered how weird it would be for her if Tilly already had someone there…? Then she thought did it really matter? She wanted Tilly to know she was there…She was to afraid to be there for her when the crash happened..

Now she had a chance to make it up to her…Throwing caution to the wind she knocked the door…

As She waited for an answer she could hear movement behind the door…

"Tilly? She called out..

The noises stopped…..Jen frowned…Tilly is Jen?

Im busy right now Jen….Tilly said through the door…

I text you and I had no reply..Jen explained. I was a little worried …

Yeah I got it…Thanks. I'll call you or something..Tilly replied…Along with another bang…

Jen knew something wasn't right…Tilly…can I come in…? Please..?…Just for a minute….

Why? Tilly asked..

Jen could hear in Tillys voice she was upset….Just so I can see your ok….? I wont stay I promise…

A few moments later..Tilly opened the door a little….Im ok Jen….really. With that Tilly tried to shut the door…

Jen put her hand on it to hold it open….Please Tilly….

Tilly knew Jen wasn't giving up so she left the door….Jen followed her though the flat…

The flat was exactly how Jen had imagined…

Fresh and minimal ..beautiful painting spread across the walls…Uni books everywhere you looked…

As Jen seeks out Tilly she felt sad…

Tilly was drunk. .her eyes red and sore…In her hand a bottle of Vodka and her photo…

Jen sat next to her….You not ok…..She whispered….

No….Tilly cried. No im not. She blurted out. Placing her head in her hands…

Jen wasn't sure what to do. She knew she wanted to hold Tilly tightly till the pain eased but she was scared….What if Tilly shrugged her off?

Tut. Tilly…She muttered touching her knee…..I know today is tough….You shouldn't be alone…

Why not? Tilly sniffed wiping her eyes….I am alone anyways…

Jen shook her head. No your not…You have people that love and care about you…Your friends your family…Jen wanted to say "ME" but something stopped her…

They're not here…My friends are just faces in photo frames…Apart from my parents. I lose everyone I love…..Tilly said angrily…

Tilly im not gonna sit here and tell you it will get better. Because it's the last thing you want to here…But I am here…even if you don't want to talk. I'll just sit here..

Tilly shook her head …You don't have too…

I want too…Jen replied…

Tilly went to grab her glass. But ended up dropping it….Shit ..she moaned leaning down to pick up the pieces…

Tilly leave it. I'll do it…Jen said leaning on the floor to collect the broken glass. As she leans down in front of Jen…she can feel Tillys breath on her skin…

Trying to ignore her own emotions she concentrates on the glass.."Don't move your feet ok?

As Jen finishes cleaning the mess up Her heart skips a beat…Tilly had taking a piece of her hair between her fingers

I use to love playing with your hair. She whispers leaning in closer…It always smelt so good…she added…

I think we need to sober you up….Jen said. Trying to move away..

Tilly shook her head. I don't want to be sober…Not today. She swallowed as she continued to play with Jens hair…

I know what I do need?…I need to feel something…..I need to feel you…

Tilly brushed her lips on to Jens…

Jen hesitate….Please Jen. Tilly whispered before attempting to deepen the kiss….

Kiss me…Tilly begged as she pulled Jen closer entering Jens mouth with her tongue…

As good as it felt to feel Tilly. Jen knew it wasn't right…Tilly no….She said pulling away…

Tilly ignored her and kissed her again…Jen had to find all the strength she had to stop herself….

Tilly please…Jen begged…Getting up off the floor to gain some distance between them…

Tilly wasn't listening to Jen..she didn't care if it was bad timing. She was drunk and in her mind nothing mattered…

C'mon Jen..she swooned as she cornered Jen against the wall…You know you want to…she whispered as she kissed Jens neck whilst trying to un button Jens top…..

Tilly I said no…Jen shouted pushing Tilly away…

Tilly began to laugh….Whats up? I remember a time when you couldn't keep your hands off me….Infact you loved it so much you risked your Career over it….She drank from the bottle…

Tilly please stop drinking that..Jen begged as she tried to get the bottle…

Oooor..Maybe that was what you liked…The whole taboo thing….? Tilly said horribly…Maaaybe im not so appealing now aye…..Maybe you got off on the sneaking around….

The more Tilly drank the neat vodka the nastier she became…

Well? Is that what it is Jen huh?

Jen was trying not to take offence to Tillys outburst. She knew she was grieving…Tilly C'mon…give me the vodka…

Smmmmh your not my mother…Don't tell me what to do…Tilly snapped…

I hate you…She scowered…

Tilly Your drunk…C'mon….Jen said trying to be sympatric…

Tilly began to clap….Well done. Some one give her a teaching Career…Ooops you had one didn't you…? My bad….

Jen was losing her patience with Tilly now. She knew she was in a mess but she wasn't about to let Tilly belittle her…

You know what? Its fine. You want to sit here and feel sorry for yourself then fine…I'll leave you alone…

Yeah go on…Walk away….Tilly shouted. Your good at that…

Jen stopped at the door…Taking a deep breath she turnt back to Tilly…

Maybe you should get some sleep..?

Yeah and ,maybe you should stay out my life..Infact maybe you shouldn't have ever came into my life. Maybe I wish I never met you….

Maybbbbbbbbbbbe if I didn't meet you then I wouldn't be so fucking messed up…..I tell you what Jen….

Walk out of my flat…get in your car and never ….ever…..ever….come near me again…Tilly stood laughing sinking more vodka…

Jen knew she wasn't herself but her words cut deep…..Holding the tears in she nodded..Ok…If that's what you want…

Yep/…it is…See ya….

Jen ran down the stairs and out into the street…Taking a huge deep breath like she was starved of oxygen. She collapsed into the drivers seat. Placing her head on the stirring wheel she broke down…Her tears uncontrollable…

Tilly was a mess….But Jen had never seen her so angry. Or spiteful….One part of Jen was afraid to leave her alone the other part of her wanted to get as far away from her as possible…..


	10. Chapter 10

Jen arrived back at work rushing into the office…Hayley instantly knew something was wrong …excusing herself to some Art buyers she followed Jen..

As she opened the door Jen was trying to control her emotions…

Jen? What happened? She asked very concerned at the state of her friend..

Jen just shook her head wiping her tears..

Awwwwe babe…C'mon tell me" Hayley said as she hugged Jen tightly….What's the matter?

Its….Jen sobbed…its….Tilly…..Hayley she hates me..

Shhh shhh…C'mon she doesn't hate you…shhh don't cry…Hayley pleaded as she stroked Jens hair…What happened..

Jen took a deep breath as she took so tissue tissues to wipe her nose and eyes….You don't get it…You didn't see her H….

She was a mess….Jen said still sobbing…

Jen took a few moments to calm herself down before she explained what had gone on…..

H…..she was so drunk when I got there…I tried to stop her drinking but she wouldn't have it….She made a pass at me…Jen sighed…

Oh? Hayley was surprised…And that's a bad thing ?..right?

Jen nodded….She kissed me….and as much as it felt amazing…As much as I wanted to …Jen shook her head. Her tears returning in her eyes….

I couldn't. .I couldn't take advantage of her…I tried to tell her it was a bad idea…But she wasn't listening. She tried to seduce me…she started kissing me again and unbuttoning my shirt…

When I pulled her away she flipped out ….Oh god H….you should of see her. She was so mad at me…

She was shouting at me. Telling me she hates me and she wishes she never met me…Saying things like I only wanted her back then when I wasn't allowed….like I got off on her being younger and my student…

Jen by now was in floods of tears again..Hayley done her best to console her…Jen im sure she didn't mean it babe…She's hurting…C'mon Little Tills doesn't have a mean bone in her body. You know that"?

Jen shook her head…No..H…she meant it…She really resents me for coming back into her life…

And the worst thing is….She's all alone now armed with a bottle of vodka…She is dangerously drunk and im afraid she might do something stupid….

Aww..Babe….Hayley tutted….Tilly maybe drunk but she isn't a fool….she's more likely to pass out and sleep till morning…

Jen cried into her friends arms….What do I do? She sobbed..

Hayley kissed her head..Theres nothing you can so Jen…you just need to leave her today…

But she's upset. And alone" .Jen worried..

Yeah and by the sounds of it that's just how she wants to be….Hayley explained…Look lets go home yeah?

I'll text Tilly to see if she's ok….we can grab a bottle of wine and watch some shit TV….yeah?

Jen nodded. Thanks H…..

Hayley winked at her ….And headed back to the Gallery to tell the other workers that her and Jen were leaving…

She sent Tilly a quick text…

Hey Tilly Red..

I know you want to be left alone…

Just tell me your ok? Please..

Love ya. Hayley xx

As Jen and Hayley arrive home Jen slumps on the sofa exhausted…She eyes black from her running mascara…

Go grab a bath babe. Ill order us a take away…Hayley smiled..

Jen agreed and disappeared into her room ..leaving Hayley to order some food. As she pulled her phone out her bag it beeped…

Bad day…I k.

Was Tillys reply…Hayley frowned…Poor Tills " thought…At least she was co-hearant enough to be able to reply..

Get some sleep babe..

Plenty of water ok? Hayley xe

Tillys reply was quick..

YuP…

Hayley ordered in Thai and the pair of them relaxed on the sofa…watching TV …Jen was quiet but Hayley left her alone. She didn't push her to talk. If Jen wanted to then she would be right there for her…

It was coming up to 10pm..Jen's mind was in over drive…I need to get out of here ..she told Hayley..as she got up off the sofa..

What? Where? Hayley asked looking at the time..

Jen shrugged. I don't know I just need some air….

Ok I'll come…Hayley smiled..

No….I….Jen sighed. I just want to be on my own….Do you mind?

Hayley held her hands up….Up to you…

Jen set off down the street. All she could think about were the things Tilly had said. The seriousness in her tone. The anger in her eyes…

Jen crossed the road and into a near bar pub….

Ordering a brandy she sat looking down at her glass….Tilly wasn't the only one drowned her sorrows…

An hour later and a few to many brandy's…Jen hears a familiar voice..

Hey Jen? Long time so see…..

Tilly woke on the sofa in her clothes damp from where she had been sick…Still holding the vodka bottle….she hide her eyes from the sun…

Ohhhhhhhh…she grumbled…Her head full of the effects of her night…She looked in the mirror and didn't like what she saw…

Get a grip Evans she said to herself…As she splashed water on her face and brushed her teeth the feeling of dread washed over her..

Oh nooooooooooooooooo….The incident with Jen hit her like a fast train….

As Tilly showered and changed more and more of their conversation came back to her….

Her phone rang…it was Zoe..

Hey Tills? How are you?

Tilly: I feel like crap…

Zoe: ouch…..So you wanna go for breakfast?

Tilly: I cant Zo…I need to see Jen….I really embarrassed myself last night….

Zoe: Oh no…What did you do…Zoe laughed..

Tilly: Honestly im not to sure…I cant remember much. But what I can isn't pretty….I defiantly remembered I made a pass at her…Im pretty sure I insulted her ….Infact I know I did…I just cant remember how badly…

Zoe: Oh god tills you are in a mess

Tilly. .Yup so I need to see her…I can call you after though?

Tilly and Zoe agreed to meet up in the afternoon….Tilly headed over to Jens she wasn't sure what kinda reception she was going to get but knew she had to apologise….

Jen woke up…she too felt awful….

Morning….The female led next to her smile….

Oh …uh..morning…Jen frowned….

Look Jen I appreciate you letting me stay last night…The women said…God knows how I would have got home if I hadn't bumped into you….

Jen nodded ….Look Jo I don't mean to sound rude or anything but you are gonna have to get going….I didn't tell my room mate I was having guest and well…Its kind of a house rule if you get my meaning….

Jo…laughed ..its cool Jen….I know where I aint wanted….Mind if I grab a shower quick?

Yeah as long as your quick….Jen warned..

Jen got up to make Coffee…..she rubbed her forehead….All she could think about was yesterday …She wondered how Tilly was this morning…

That wonder didn't last long when there was a knock at the door….

Jen rolled her eyes…Bets it's the postman asking for her to take more parcels in for next door….

As Jen flung the door open her jaw dropped…

Uh…Tilly..She gasped…

Hi…So im thinking im probably the last person you expected to see? Tilly said biting her lip….

Uh….Jen was panicking….she kept looking behind her hoping her guest wouldn't show her face….

Jen I was wondering if we can talk?

Um…Tilly…I….

Please….Tilly begged as she walked just inside the door….I'll even make the Coffee…..

Tilly walked into the kitchen….Look Jen about last night…Im so sorry….I was a complete idiot…Those things I said? …They were uncalled for….And I promise you…I promise you I didn't mean any of it…"

Tilly…Please…Its ok…really…it is…Jen said trying to reassure her…Why don't we go for Coffee somewhere…?

No…I really need to say this and I kinda want to do it privately…Tilly said nervously…Jen…I know I was a complete bitch yesterday…And although it was a bad day for me its no excuse….

Tilly walked over closer to Jen….she could smell her perfume….Jen….Tilly whispered…Im sorry for everything…everything except…Well…..When I kissed you….It felt right…It felt …

Jen couldn't believe after all this waiting Tilly was finally making a decision and the whole time this poor girl is opening her heart to Jen….once again…All Jen could think of was getting her out the way…

Tilly look…I don't think we should talk now….Jen was panicking…Why don't I come to yours….Later…

Tilly shook her head…I'd much rather we do it now…If I recall. .we use to enjoy making up…she giggled….

Oh god…Jen thought…

Jen…can I st….

Jen you got a hairdryer? The mystery women asked…

Jen and Tillys jaw dropped at the same time….Tilly's eyes instantly filled with tears…..

Jen looked at Tilly with horror written all over her face…Tilly…..She swallowed…

Tilly shook her head. Her eyes glued to the women stood in a towel…..

I have to go….She muttered…backing towards the door…

No Tilly…Jen gasped…Tilly…please…

Tilly opened the door and ran out of it….

Tilly…..Tilly please it isn't what it looks like…Tilly come back…Jen begged ….

As Tilly made her way to the door Hayley was coming in….WOooooah…hold up where's the fire.? She asked grabbing Tilly….Tilly was crying as she pushed her way past Hayley….I got to go….sorry..

Hayley was confused and headed up the stairs to see what had happened…

Jen Whats happened? I just saw Tills running out of here…..She asked but cutting herself short when she saw Jen and the mystery women…

What the fucking hell is she doing here? Hayley snapped…

Nice to see you to Hayley..The mystery women said sarcastically…You never said she was your room mate Jen…

Im not her room mate….this is My flat. and I want you out…..Now…Hayley warned…

The women got dressed and left the flat after saying her good byes to Jen…Once Jen and H were alone Hayley let rip….

What the fuck has got into you? She shouted at Jen…Poor Tilly ran out of here like her life depended on it…Did she walk in on you two?

Hold on a minute…Jen moaned what do you mean Whats got into me? I did nothing wrong…

Oh and bring that fuckin Idiot in to my home is a good thing is it? Hayley asked…You know I cant stand her so how dare you….

Oh so because I live with you I have to ask your permission? Jen argued…

No. not at all..Hayley replied…But her Jen?

You know you have done some stupid shit in your time…But to bring her back into our lives? You've seriously lost the plot….Hayley preached…

Jen sat and listened as her best friend accused her of allsorts….Hayley didn't give Jen a chance to explain. She just ranted at her….

Accusing her of not treating Tilly right…Telling her how disrespectful she was to her friends feelings…

As Hayley moaned Jen felt a wave of anger….

You know what H…who I chose to sleep with is none of your damn business…And im sooooooooooooooo sorry that Tilly doesn't want me …and im sooooooooooooooo sorry I haven't chose to cry myself to sleep over it…

Maybe you need to get yourself a life…..Before you meddle in mine….

Jen wasn't waiting around to here Hayley's reply. She slammed her bedroom door behind her…

As she lay on her bed ..tears roll down her eyes…

The truth is…Jen hadn't slept with the women…In fact Jen hated the fact she was even there…

Last night when Jen was having a drink she bumped into Jo…Jo was an old Girlfriend. She met her though Hayley…her and Hayley started Uni together….

Jo wasn't keen on Hayley and Jens friendship…But worse then that …Jo had backstabbed Hayley …They were both up for a scholarship to America . Jo stole Hayley's painting and used it as her own…That securing her the America trip…She had also tried to come between Jen and Hayley…Even accused Hayley of making a pass at her…

In the end Jen had to chose who she was more loyal too…And Hayley won….

Hayley was furious that Jen could be so stupid…

she didn't have much faith in her friend…But the truth was..

Jen and JO ended up drinking till late…and Jo had lost her oyster card which meant she couldn't travel on the subway. Because it was so late there was no way of getting a ticket….she had no where to stay so Jen felt obliged to let her crash at the flat…

Jen Infact bored her most of the night talking about Tilly…Nothing at all had happened between them. But Jen wasn't about to justify herself to Hayley or anyone else…


	11. Chapter 11

OK SO I KNOW LOTS OF YOU ARE GETTING IMPATIANT AND ARE WAITING FOR JELLY…SOOOO…HERE YOU ARE XXX

Jen lay in bed for most of the day…Going over what had happened…She kicks herself that she didn't go after Tilly but at the same time was as shocked at the events of this morning as Tilly was…

Also on her mind was how angry Hayley was at her….Hayley just assumed Jen had done what Jen does best and made choices she would later regret…

She knocked on Hayley's door…

Can I come in? She asks…Not giving Hayley a chance to answer…H..I know your angry with me. And you have every right to be….

Im sorry I let her stay over. But…It wasn't as you thought….She had no way of getting back home. I couldn't just leave her….

So you bring her home and sleep with her? Hayley asked with raised eyebrows..

Jen sits on the end of Hayley's bed…shaking her head…

No I didn't. I swear to you….I never touched her….Infact I think I bored her with talk of Tilly….

As soon as I woke up I tried getting rid of her…

When Tilly arrived I freaked out…

Jen sighed heavily as her mind relived the moment….God H…the look on Tillys face? She was crushed…

Well Jen what do you expect. She just walked in on you with a half naked women…

I know..Jen snapped sadly…..I couldn't get my words out…It all happened so fast and before I knew it she was out the door…

In floods of tears ..Hayley added…

Jen wiped a single tear off her cheek….The worst thing was….she was apologising….beating herself up about yesterday…She even tried opening up….Im sure she was about to tell me she still had feelings for me….

Oh C'mon Jen I think that's obvious…..Look..Hayley said as she sat next for her friend…I love you…You're my best friend and I will always have your back…But sometimes I have to tell you when your acting up…..Sometimes your infuriate me with your stupidness…..Anyone can see You and Tilly are still very much in love….And before you say it…I know what she did yesterday floored you…but you know her Jen…..You know her better then anyone…and you know she was hurting…

You just let her go…..Why? Hayley asked

Jen shrugged…I don't know…I was scared….I couldn't take her rejecting me again I guess…

Hayley squeezed her friends shoulder…Look…I cant keep advising you on your love life. She nudged playfully…But I will say one more time…You have to fight ….If you want her Jen…go and get her…Don't take no for an answer…..

Jen nodded…And if she rejects me?

Hayley sighed…Then you let go….life your life…

Jen thought about nothing else for the next hour before grabbing her keys and heading out the door…

Where you going|? Hayley frowned..

Im going to fight…Jen winked as she left the flat…

Jen hurried to Tillys only to get no answer. The girl who lived next door told her she saw Tilly leave 20 minutes ago…Jen thanked her and headed to the Coffee shop….

Hi…..she said to the girl behind the counter…Im looking for Tilly…Is she here? She asked hopeful…

No sorry. The girl smiled..Tillys off ..she wont be back for a week or two I think?

Jen looked confused…Oh…um…do you know why she's off so long?

The girl explained that Tilly had called in and said she had some family stuff she had to take care off and was heading back up north…

With out a second thought Jen rushed back home and started packing a bag…

Jen I get you need to see her ..but going back to Chester? I don't think it's a good Idea babe.? Hayley said trying to calm Jen down…

No it isn't…im not exactly welcome there. But if that's where she is…that's where im heading..

Ok..look..why don't you call her first?

She wont answer…H…im going …bad idea or not…If anything it will show Tilly im serious…

Hayley could see there was no changing Jens mind…Ok well im coming with you then..

Jen shook her head. No…I have to do this one by myself…

Hayley pleaded for Jen to reconsider and let her come along but it feel of deaf ears…..

Later on that day Jen arrived in Chester…Where she was going she didn't know….How she would track Tilly down was also a hurdle…

After she had explained to Liam where she was going he asked her to collect something's for him from Maxine…so she headed to her place ..hoping she wouldn't be spotted…

Quickly rushing through the village and into the building she knocked the door..

Hi…Um…Liam…

Yeah he called me. Maxine winked…Come in…

Maine made Jen a Coffee…It pretty nice of you to come all this way for liams stuff? She said hoping to find out more..

Jen read Maxine like a book it was obvious she was after some Gossip….That's not why im here…..Im here for Tilly….

Thought so…Maxine grinned…

Jen frowned…

Well I see her this morning and them Liam calls…It was hard to out 2 and 2 together…Ok Liam told me. She giggled…

Look Jen…im all for love and stuff so ..good for you….And listen im betting you haven't got anywhere to stay?

Jen shook her head " I'll get a B&B later…she replied..

Uh no you wont…You can stay here…I'll be at work all night…so your have the place to yourself…

The club? Jen asked..

Yeah its reopening tonight…Maxine explained. The McQueen's have it….can you believe it..?

Jen rolled her eyes..Oh god…She laughed…Thanks Maxine…I appreciate it…

Maxine finished off her Coffee ..Don't mention it. I'll give you a key just in case …..

As Maxine got ready for work Jen watched out the window…Walking through the Village was…George,Ruby,and Sinead…they were heading in the direction of the pub…If they were all going there then there was a good chance Tilly would be joining them…

Jen shouted to Maxine she was heading out ..grabbing her bag she headed off to the Dog…

It wasn't long before she dumped into familiar faces….As she walked across the Village she was met by a shocked looking Diane…

Jen? She said shocked….Didn't think I'd ever see you again?

Jen looked down and noticed the bump…Your pregnant?

Looks like it ..Diane said sarcastically…

Wow…Jen knew how desperately Diane wanted to be a Mum to her own children…Congratulations…

Diane nodded…So…? Why are you here?

Jen didn't feel she needed to explain to Diane the last time they were in each others company Diane had slapped Jen..

I have to go…Jen answered and walked away leaving Diane confused…

As Jen headed into the Dog her eyes scanned the room till they searched out what they were looking for…Taking a deep breath she approached the table…

Tilly..She whispered…

Tilly almost choked on her Wine…she couldn't believe it was Jen whispering her name..

Tilly can we talk? Jen asked..

You got a nerve…Esther hissed from the other side of the table…

I don't have anything to say to you..Tilly answered…

Well maybe you can let me do the talking then? Jen muttered…Feel all eyes on her…

Did you not hear her? Esther said answering for Tilly..

Jen looked at Esther out the corner of her eye…I wasn't talking to you…

Tilly….she swallowed..10 minutes? Please?…

Tilly you don't have to listen to her…Esther said….She doesn't deserve your time…C'mon lets go…She added as she got up to leave….

Tilly…Jen said again this time bending down so she gain eye contact…I know I don't deserve it…but im begging you….

Tilly? Lets go. Esther pushed…

Tilly thought for a few moments….I'll catch you up Es…

Tilly please tell me your joking? Esther moaned…Do you not remember what she's done to you..?….Again?

I said I'll catch you up Es…Tilly said sternly…Looking at Jen ..you have 5 minutes..

The two take a seat outside the pub so they could talk….

You've come a long way to talk..Tilly sulked…Or are you here to tell me about your new girlfriend. Or isn't to tell me what mistake she was….

For someone that has nothing to say your talking a lot..Jen spat back..

I don't need this..Tilly insisted as she rose off her chair…

Ok..wait..im sorry…I just need for you to listen to me…Jen begged…

Tilly….I shouldn't have let you leave the way you did….not with out explaining anyways…

Explain what? You're a free agent…Tilly snapped..

Jen rolled her eyes. She knew Tilly wasn't going to let her off easily….ok…I know you probably don't believe a word I say to you any more…but…I want you to know Tilly….Nothing…and I mean Nothing happened between me and that women…..Not even so much as a hand shake…

Yes she's an ex…But…Years ago. I think I was like 17-18? She was Hayley friend…After what happened with you earlier that day I was a mess. I went for a drink. She was there…

Look….

Jen sighed Licking her lips. .her throat feeling dry…

She just needed somewhere to crash for the night. That's all I swear to you…

And your telling me this because? Tilly frowned…

Smmmmh…because you care….Jen muttered. And so do I Tilly….And the thought of you thinking that I could just pick some girl up and sleep with her upsets me…

I cant pretend I don't care anymore….After what happened at your place…Jen shook her head…the memory bringing tears to her eyes…

I was a mess Tilly…I hated leaving you like that…But you were so angry. What could I have done?

Tilly were going. Ester called out..

Jen rolled her eyes and sunk into her chair…Esther wasn't making this easy…

Tilly nodded over to Esther and looked back at Jen….You done?

Jen pinched the bridge of her nose in defeat….I guess….

Tilly got up of her chair…Good…She snapped as she walked away..

Tilly…Jen called out…She knew that this might be the last time her and Tilly see each other and she knew she had to say everything she needed….

As Tilly turnt round to face her…Jen felt brave….

I love you…..Jen said loud enough for Tilly to hear…I just wanted you to know….

Esther gave Jen a dirty look and dragged Tilly away….Before Tilly could react…

Jen sunk back into her chair and let her tears roll….

2 hours had past since Jen admitted her true feeling to Tilly…Tilly sat at the Bar in the loft kept replaying it and replaying it in her mind…

She kicked herself for walking away…

Maxine lent across the bar and whispered into Tillys ear…She's staying at mine tonight…

As Tilly shit her a confused look. Maxine smiled…Just saying…

Tilly couldn't work out how Maxine had read her mind. She jumped off her chair and followed Maxine down the stairs…

Maxine? What did you just say? Tilly called out over the music…

Jen….She's at Mine…I take it from her face and yours things haven't exactly worked out….Sometimes it takes a few tries. She winked…If you want to see her…she's at mine…

Tilly headed back to the bar and ordered another drink…C'mon Tillys..lets dance. Esther smiled. Its not often your home…C'mon…

Im not in the mood ..Tilly said trying not to sound annoyed that Esther was constantly hanging on to her…

Tills…Esther pouted…

Im probably gonna head off actually…she said stroking Esther's arm…

As she left Esther called out to her…You going to her aren't you?

Tilly stopped and took a moment before facing her friend…I cant help it Es…..

Esther shook her head and walked away…Tilly felt bad She knew Esther had feelings for her. But if she didn't feel the same there was nothing she could do…

Tilly left the club and went straight to Maxine's…She quietly knocked the door…

As Jen sit flicking through the TV. She checked her watch…Wondering who it would be….Maxine was no where near finished work…

Ad she opened the door her jaw dropped…Tilly?

Did you mean it? Tilly asked…

Jen pushed the door as if to invite Tilly in…

Tilly entered the flat with her arms folded….So? Did you? Or was it a spare of the moment thing?

I meant everything I said….And I promise you nothing happened between me and Jo….nothing…

Tilly nodded…I wish I could forget you sometimes…..She closed her eye….But the thought of you not existing …she shook her head…

Tilly….I know things are a mess….I know since we have met up again its been nothing but hard work,,,,I know this…..But…..You on my mind constantly…Even after everything that we have been through….your stood in front of me now….

Tilly walked over to Jen….There faces Just inches apart…Did you mean it when you said you love me?

Jen trying her hardest to control her breathing…Yeah I did….I do love you….And I cant do the whole friends thing. I cant be happy that you might move on and date someone else. I cant pretend I don't care…I…

Tilly didn't let her finish she slammed her lips on to Jens…Pressing hard wanting to feel Jen deeply she wraps her arms around Jens neck. I love you too. She whispers as she Kissed the brunette again. I love you so much. She says in between Kisses….

Jen gasps. The feel of Tilly on her was like electricity passing through her body…Wrapping her arms around Tillys waist she squeezes her tightly as she enters Tillys mouth with her tongue…

After weeks of pretending and years of fighting and wanting..Jen and Tilly finally gave in. Their love shined through and they had reached the mountain they had climbed…


	12. Chapter 12

The moment heating up….the need for each other is out of control…as they kiss passionately their hands grabbing at each others body…Tilly lifts Jens T-shirt off over her head taking her breast in her hand….Causing Jen to gasp….The heat rising between her legs as Tilly sucks and Bites on her neck…

Jen slides her hands up the warm skin of Tillys back…Moaning as Tilly teases her Nipple with her tongue…

Oh God….Jen whispered….She had longed for Tilly for so long that it felt almost like a dream….

Tilly…She cried out as Tilly slowly ran her fingers up the inside of Jens leg…As Tilly lightly skimmed Jens underwear it knocked Jen back to reality…

Wait….She snapped holding Tilly back from her a little…

Whats wrong? Tilly frowned..

Jen taking a second to catch her breath and looking at those beautiful eyes of Tillys…

We cant….she Puffed. .

What? Why not? I Though this is what you wanted Jen? Tilly moaned confused at Jens change of heart…

It is…Jen laughed under her breath….God I want this…You …more then anything….But…

But? Tilly repeated…

Buuut…Jen smiled holding Tillys hand…We are stood in the middle of Maxine's Living room…

Tilly grinned. I wont tell her if you do ..she winked leaning into Kiss Jens neck..

I didn't mean that…Jen giggled letting Tilly kiss her before pushing her away…I mean what if she comes back?

Tilly shrugged…Ok..so lets go in there…She pouted seductively pointing to the open bedroom door…

Uhh Tilly…We cant do that? I mean I don't even know her….Jen said shocked at Tillys idea..

So…Nor do I…and once we go back to London we wont really be bumping into her will we….? C'mon….Tilly winked grabbing Jens hand…

Jen being the older more cautious one…stood her ground…Tilly…I don't think….

Ok..Tilly intupted holding her hands in the air…..Ok we wont….I'll get off and we can catch up when we get back to London…..

What? No! Jen frowned. You cant leave me …not now…

Well Im gonna have to Jen….because if I stay… Well im going to want to touch you….Tilly shrugged…

Jen checked her watch for the time. .It was only just past 11pm…Biting her lip she smiled…I guess Maxine wont be back for ages yet…..?

Tilly laughed and pushed Jen against the wall…..Im glad you see things my way …she whispered as she kissed Jen hard…..cupping her breasts in her hands massaging them forcefully….

Not here…Jen whispered as she slid across the wall towards the bedroom…Tilly kicked the door shut never breaking their kiss…

As the two hold each other tightly exploring each others mouth with their tongues. .Tilly walks Jen over to the bed…..

This was the Moment they had both ached for …for such a long time….

Tilly pushes Jen onto the bed as she gently climbs on top of her….looking into Jens eyes and smiling Tilly slowly works Jen's neck…Opening Jens leg a little so she can rest in between them.. Looking up she notices the look on Jens face….

Are you ok? Tilly asks…

Jen nods and gives her half a smile….Yup….

Tilly frowns…You don't look it….Is it because of Maxine…?

No….Jen said shaking her head….no its not that….Im…..She sighs…

Tilly is worried now that after all this something is wrong…leaning up on to her knees she waits for Jen to continue…

Jen giggles slightly…This sounds so stupid….but….well…..Im nervous….

Nervous…Tilly gasps with a laugh….Nervous about what?

Jen rolled her eyes. I know its stupid….I just ….well …Its been so long since we…..well. since .we…

Tilly kissed Jen gently…Its ok….Im nervous too….

Really? Jen smiled..

Nope…Tilly laughed…Jen there's no need to be nervous….from what I remember we're pretty good at this…

Jen laughed….slapping Tillys leg…its not funny…I feel like its my first time all over again…she said shaking her head…

Tilly smiled lovingly ….Awwwwe that's so cute….Well…how about …she said seductively as she leans back on to Jen…How about I take care of you like you did me…..when it was my first…

Jen smiled pulling Tilly in for a kiss….Im sure I'll over come it…she giggled as she deepened the kiss with her tongue

As they kiss passionately the two get lost in each other ..Hands and lips covering every inch of each others body…Tilly's lips work their way over Jens breast and stomach as Jen wraps her leg around Tillys waist to hold her closer…

I love you…Tilly whispers into Jens ear as she nibbles on it…

Jen's heart beats fast ..those words ring loudly though her soul…I love you…She says kissing Tilly. .Over and over again..

Tilly brings her hand down Jens side slowly…"Well how about we move this…She giggled tugging at Jens skirt…

Jen hesitated a little worried about the time and Maxine returning But seeing Tilly in front of her she soon forgot….As she let Tilly slip her garment off…..As well as removing her own dress

Ohhhhhhh Black ? My favourite Tilly swooned as she looks at Jen led their in her silk underwear…You must have known I was coming…

Jen blushed…..Must have ..she joked as she grabbed Tilly Kissing her again…

Tilly wastes no time getting back to what they were doing..

Slowly teasing Jen by Running her fingers down her stomach stopping where she needs her the most…

As Tilly does it a few times..Jen become frustrated…

Breaking their kiss she Tuts…

Tilly? Will you stop that?

What? Tilly giggles…..

You know exactly what im talking about…Jen frowns with a wink….

Smmmmh…So im guessing your not nervous anymore.? Tilly asks raising her eyebrows…

Jen bites her bottom lip and slowly slides her hand into Tillys underwear…What does that tell you?

Tilly gasps as she feels Jens hand slid through her wetness…Ooooooooooooo Miss Gilmore. She jokes…As they both laugh..

Tillys kisses trail down Jens stomach on to her inner leg…her need to feel and taste Jen overcomes her as she moves her mouth over Jens now wet underwear…As Tilly sucks her in…Jen gasped…her hands grabbing at the bed sheets….Uh…Tilly….She cries….Tilly cant wait to remove Jens underwear so she pulls them side …Using her tongue to bring Jen to the height of ecstasy…

Jen tastes amazing in Tillys mouth….She sucks her in deeper. .Teasing her with her tongue…

Jens eyes are closed her head tilted back into the pillow…

Tillys touch is sending her to places she forgot all about…The feel of Tillys tongue in between her legs is electrifying …Just when she thought she couldn't feel any more amazing..Tilly inserts her fingers…Sliding them through Jens wet folds…going deeper and deeper with every movement…Jen explodes…

Tilly feels her clench around her fingers and the juice flow into her mouth…..

As Jen shakes uncontrollably underneath her Tilly finds her way back to Jens lips…Sucking them hard…she whispers. God I've missed you…..

Once Jen had gained control…it was her turn to show Tilly just how much she had missed her….Tilly made Jen feel a Million Dollars and Jen was about to remind Tilly just who taught her everything she knows…Tilly was about to experience the experienced…..


	13. Chapter 13

As Tilly And Jen lay side by side breathless..Jen begins to laugh….

What? Tilly asks with a giggle…

Nothing..Jen laughs again….I was just thinking ..how embarrassing it would be if Maxine walked in on us…

Oh God…Tilly laughed with her hand over her face…The shame….

Well it would have been your fault..Jen explained turning onto her side facing Tilly…

My fault? Tilly frowned innocently…I don't know what you mean….

Jen smiled…Tilly…listen…Um…..This has been amazing. It really has…and im seriously happy. Over the moon happy that we are at this point. But…

Tilly knew what Jen's concerns were….Jen …listen…Yeah this is great. And what just happened…well….I don't remember us being "That" good…She giggled…But we have a long way to go….Things aren't gonna be easy…we have a lot of work to do….

Im willing try…Jen interrupts…

Tilly nods…I am too…..But ..we have to take things slowly ok?….I don't want to mess this up…But lets talk about it more back in London. When its just us…

I agree…Jen smiled…Now ..as much as I want to stay like this with you…We really need to get up…Maxine will be back soon and I don't want her to see just how disrespectful we have been…

Tilly burst out laughing…So this is what a naughty teenager feels like? Covering their tracks in case their parents find out..?

Yeah something like that..Jen joked…C'mon…Jen urges as she tried to get out of bed

Or maybeeeeeeeeeeeeee….Tilly giggled as she pulled Jen down back to her side….Maybe we can just get caught and go for round two….?

Tilly ..Jen gasped…We cant…we have to get out of here…

Tilly rolled her eyes. Fine…Well how about you come to mine?

Yours? Jen frowned. With your parents? I don't think so….

Why not …Tilly shrugged…I'll sneak you in….It'll be fun…She pouted…

After Jen refused about a thousand time..Tilly finally worked her magic on her and she agreed…

Jen left Maxine a thank you note and they headed off in the jeep to Tillys…

As Jen pulled up across the street she felt sick…..Tilly…I don't think I….

Tilly kissed her softly…Don't be scared…I'll protect you….

They made their way up the path…Jen holding on to Tillys hand for dear life…..Tilly quietly turning the key and placing the hall way light on…..

Tilly…Jen whispers…Maybe you should leave the lights off..

Yeah…Tilly nodded…Or maybe…"I could call out Mmmmmmmmmmmm , Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad…really loudly…

Uh…Jen panicked…Tilly shouting was bound to wake her parents….Tilly .? What are you doing?

Tilly began to laugh loudly….Holding her stomach….Relax…..My parents aint even here…

Jens jaw dropped…What? You mean…

I was messing about…Their way all week..Tilly shrugged as she dragged Jen into the kitchen…

So…..You've had an empty house….yet you insist we have sex at Maxine's?

No…I didn't …I insisted we make love…Tilly corrected her…Plus I couldn't wait …I had to have you…

Jen shook her head…You really are a bad girl….

Despicable…Tilly grinned…Showing Jen a bottle of wine…Glass?

Jen nodded….Love some…So where are your parents?

They've gone on holiday. I wasn't meant to be home till next week….but ..well ..what with….She sighed. I came back early….They're back end of the week….

You sure its ok for me to be here? Jen asked..

Well….Tilly smiled. I would of took you to the shack but what with it being just a burnt out drug den now a days…

Jen laughed at the thought of the shack…A grubby little wooden shed that they had made as homely as possible…Bring candles and pillows to brighten it up…

Aghhh the shack….She laughed…Good times…

Tilly's phone had been going off most of the night….As she places it on the table it beeps….

She glances over but doesn't pick it up…

She's probably worried about you…..Jen says noticing Esther's name appear…

Tilly shrugged ..its fine…She knew I was leaving…

Jen nodded..Ummhmm But did she know where you were going?

Look Jen….Tilly rolled her eyes…Esther is ….Well she…

Hates me? Jen frowned..

Tilly just looked at her….She knows how I feel….If she cant except that then she isn't really my friend is she?

Jen licked her lips…Taking a deep breath…I can hardly blame her….I didn't exactly do right by her…

Its in the past Jen….And I don't know about you ..but….I don't want to keep going back there….I want to live my life….looking forward…

But…..

But" Jen asked….

Smmmmmmh…Tilly muttered as she sat beside Jen….Well when you left. I…it was a while after…I kinda got into something with Es…..

Jens stomach turnt…Oh god….she thought. The thought of Tilly being with another women makes her feel sick…

We hung out a lot…She was…Well…she was just there….Tilly explained…She let me sulk about you. Even though she thought I was made for not pressing charges….

She was warm…kind…friendly…I just…..

..Jen interrupted…I get it…But I cant …I mean. you don't have to explain…

Tilly could see Jen didn't like where the conversation was heading but she needed Jen to know…

I know its not easy to hear. But…well I want to be upfront…And honest…I didn't end things with Es…she ended things with me….

Jen raised her eyebrows but stayed silent…

Im a way I was glad….I mean I knew I didn't love her but…I was drawn to her….she was everything your not….Or should I say she was nothing like you…Being around her was easy for me to forget I was missing you….

I know she's gonna be mad with me…

So don't tell her…Jen suggested..

Tilly shrugged. I have too…..I have to be honest. .she's my friend…And If we're gonna …Well if we…Oh I don't..Tilly said getting up ….She just needs to know. But we have both been drinking and I don't think answering her now is a good idea….

Drinking? Jen frowned…You've been drinking?

Tilly nodded folding her arms,,,

Jen sat with her head bowed for a second…So. How much drink are we talking?

Tilly frowned…What do you mean?

I meaaaan…how much drink? Enough that you may wake tomorrow and wonder what the hell im doing led next to you? Regret coming to Maxine's….?

Jen…Jen..stop…Tilly urged…with a giggle…I had a few…Im defiantly not drunk…Im fully aware of Whats happening…

Look its like 3am…We need to get some sleep.

The two of them headed to bed…As Jen lay there…she cant help but smile…Tillys room was still full of paintings…Jen even remembered some from Collage….There was even a painting on the wall that had a big smudge on it…Jen remembered back to the day her and Tilly were painting….A time when they had agreed to be " Just friends" ….She remembered she had flicked her paint over the canvas…She was touched Tilly had kept it…

As Tilly made her way in to bed she looked at Jen…"What? She smiled..

Jen shook her head..Nothing..I was just looking at your paintings….

Oh…Tilly grinned…They seem like a life time ago…She added as she cuddled into Jen…

Hey…don't worry about Esther or anyone else….Its our business…OK?

Jen nodded…I hope its as easy as you think….

Tilly kissed Jens cheek…It is….not lets get some sleep ..im wore out….

Jen woke at 6,30 am…she felt a sudden urge of panic…Seeing Tilly a sleep next to her…she worried that all this was a dream and that it would be short lived…If Tilly woke up and regretted last night how would Jen cope?

Jen felt claustrophobic her chest tightening….She headed to the bathroom to splash cold water over her face…it wasn't working. She needed some air…

She hung out the window for a few minutes to catch her breath….

You ok? Tilly muttered half a sleep…

Jen closed her eyes. She didn't want to wake Tilly….Uh yeah..she swallowed. I um…I just felt a little sick….

Tilly sat up in bed looking concerned. Why?

Jen shook her head. I don't know. I woke up like it…

Come here…Tilly said holding her arms out…

Jen turnt to face Tilly..she didn't move she just stood looking at her…..

Jen…Come here..Tilly asked again..

Jen took a deep breath and walked over to the bed sitting on the edge….Tilly moved closer to her…

Whats up? She asked…

Jen fiddled with her hands…I don't…I ….she exhaled heavily…I just couldn't breath…I felt…She trailed off shaking her head…

Its difficult for me too..Tilly smiled stroking Jens hair…Its been so long since we were like this…Im scared to Jen….

Jen smiled..Tilly always knew what she was thinking with out her having to say….I just keep thinking I don't deserve this and …..and well your going to realise this and im back to square one….

Jen….that's not going to happen…we didn't rush into this. we've been ignoring this for a while….

People don't want us together Tilly….Your parents are going to freak out. Esther…Zoe…they all hate me….

Tilly kissed Jens cheek…well…it's a good job I don't then. .because its me that decided the future of my life…Not my parents…or Zoe…or Esther…..me ..Jen…and only me

Jen looked deep into Tillys eyes…How can you even look at me after what I've done to you?

Tilly fiddled with Jens hands with a smile..

The same way you can look at me after what I did to you….Now…like I said. No more talk of the past…When we get back to London I want to concentrate on the future.,…

Jen smiled. And for now?

Tilly pouted. Pulling Jen to the laying down position. For now…..you come back to bed ..she giggled..


	14. Chapter 14

Jen and Tilly woke to the banging of the front door…

Aww " Jen moaned feeling the effects of the late night….Whats with the banging…She muttered as she curled into Tilly…

It's the front door…Tilly replied….

Bannng Bannnnnng….

Ignore it…they will soon go away. .Jen said kissing Tillys shoulder…

Tilly could hear her name being called…Its Esther….

Oh great…Jen moaned rolling on to her back…

I'll get rid of her…Tilly grinned kissing Jen…2 minutes ..she winked as she threw on some clothes…

Tilly rushes to answer the door…Alright Alright …..She shouted as she opened it….

Esther didn't give Tilly a chance to invite her in…she just walked past her..

Why haven't you been answering my calls?…She moaned." .I called you and texted you like a hundred times …I was worried sick Tills…

I know ..im sorry Es….my phone was down here on charge I Must have had it on silent….Tilly tried to explain quickly …

Sorry….She frowned fidgeting with her arm…Look why don't we go for Coffee….?

No its cool…I'll Make one here….You can explain to me what the hell was going on with you last night…

Tilly was stumped she needed to get rid of Esther as fast as she could…the last thing she wanted was her to have an opinion….

To much to drink I think…Tilly smiled…look how about I get dressed and meet you at Collage Coffee ..I could murder a Latte….

Look Tills….I know Jen turning up has knocked you a little…Esther started…

Oh god ..Tilly thought….

But well…..you cant let her get inside your head again…You need to be strong and say "Look…we're done". .I mean I know last night you said you loved her…but surely that's the drink talking? Esther frowned. .I mean you would be mad to even consider it after what she has done to you….

Tilly smiled…The whole time Esther was ranting all Tilly could think was how Jen was upstairs and probably hearing everything..

The last thing you need Tills is her back in your life messing you about….

Jen lay in bed listening to all that Esther was saying. She couldn't help but feel a little guilty after all a lot of what Esther was saying was true….She had hurt Tilly….She didn't deserve to be back in her life…..As Jen moved her phone fell off the bed…causing a bang…

What you need to do Tills is send her bloody packing…..Esther stopped talking when she heard the bang…Looking at the ceiling then to Tilly who also was looking up at the ceiling..

You know what? Let me grab some shoes and we'll go out…She said nervously…

What was that noise? Esther asked inquisitive…..

Noise…Tilly frowned shaking her head…

Esther could see Tilly was on edge….Then it clicked….Oh…your not alone are you?

Tilly swallowed hard….She wasn't sure if she should just admit it or try to keep her off the sent…

Well no…Cause you're here..duuuh….Tilly said trying to joke…shell we go?….

Tilly….Esther scowered…

Tilly swallowed hard and looked at her friend…

Its her….isn't it? Esther asked…Well …it is isn't it…

Look Es….Tilly attempted to explain..

You idiot…Esther spat…I cant believe you would be so stupid Tilly….

Look…if you just let me explain.." Tilly begged…

Esther pushed past her…save it for someone that cares…..You know what" ..Esther said turning back to face Tilly…..You actually deserve everything you get…..Don't come crawling back here when she breaks your heart again…And with that Esther slams the door behind her and disappears up the street..

Tilly feeling slightly deflated sat at the bottom of stairs…She felt bad that Esther was so angry..

As she sits fiddling with her hands she feels Jen sit beside her….She playfully nudges Tilly…

Hey you" ..She smiles…

Tilly looks at Jen with half a smile….

Im sorry…Jen frowned…I forgot my phone was next to me….It dropped on the floor…

Its ok…Tilly muttered.. I just feel crap that she found out like this….I should have just answered her last night.. Told her the truth

I don't thing we even really knew what was going on last night Tilly ..so that would have been difficult…Jen said trying to make Tilly feel better….

Tilly moved off the stairs on to the sofa….The last thing I want is to be the talk of the village….If Esther even mentions us to anyone it will be breaking news in minutes…

Jen nodded…Maybe I shouldn't have come here…..

What? Tilly gasped….No….Jen look …Im sorry….I didn't mean it to come out like that…I just meant that well….she sighed….People round here are so quick to judge….you know that….I've been away so long ..I have a new life…a life I don't want anyone round here to meddle in

I can see where Esther is coming from though Tilly….I mean she's right …I have messed with your head so much already…Jen started….Maybe your better off staying away from me….

Tilly looked at Jen….Folding her arms…Is that what you want? She shrugged…treat this…or whatever it is as a "One night strand?

Jen shook her head …Of coarse not…I just …..She shrugged…I just want you to know that I am fully aware of the part I played in all this….And I understand how you might be cautious and I completely understand why Esther would be so against this….

Tilly wondered over to Jen holding her head in her hands…..I don't care what Esther has to say…Or anyone else for that matter….Yeah im upset that she is hurt and that she found out about us like this…But…im a grown up Jen…..And I wont have anybody tell me what I want or need ….

Are you sure…Jen whispered looking deep into Tillys eyes….

Tilly knelt down in front of Jen Kissing her gently at first…then her lips pushed deeper her tongue entering Jens mouth…..as she leans her body in to Jens. She pulls away with a grin….What does that tell you…..?

Jen ran her fingers though Tillys beautiful Red locks…Mmmmm That tells me that you Miss Evans. Need to get up them stairs..

Whats wrong with right here? Tilly giggled as she unbuttoned Jens top…

After an hour of playful love making Jen had taken a shower…she had to go back to London..

Tilly sat with a huge pout ..her arms folded and she had a big sulk on…..

Awwwwwwwwww please don't look at me like that..Jen smiled as she finished packing her bag…You know I would love to stay…

Stay then…..Tilly sulked…..

I cant…Jen frowned….I have to go back to work…Hayley has to be in France tomorrow for some Gallery opening so I have to be back to run things….

Maybe I should come back with you..Tilly shrugged.

Uh no….Jen smiled…You're here to see your parents and friends. For your birthday…

Oh im sure once Esther blabs My friends are gonna be so excited to see me….Tilly said sarcastically….

Jen pouted…I am sorry…..

Tilly rolled her eyes. You don't have to be sorry….I am a big girl…..

Jen winked leaning in to Kiss Tilly….I know you are….Right I have to go. You have to stay ….But I will call you when I get back…

Tilly agreed …You better. And text me everyday…And skype me? She said seductively ..

Skype you? Jen asked with raised eyebrows

Tilly laughed….Yup…You gonna need to show me what im missing ..

Jen blushed…You are very naughty Matilda Evans…

Tilly nodded….I cant believe I came here early now….

It's a week or 2..it will fly by..Jen said reassuring Tilly…Ok so I need to go…

The two share some lingering Kisses and a long hug….Call me when you get back ok? Tilly whispered into Jens ear…

Of coarse…And Tilly..Don't let what happened worry you….You know with Esther…

I wont..Tilly smiled…Its about us now…And we have a long way to go so that's what I want to concentrate on….

Jen agreed Kissed Tilly one more time and headed off ….

As she drove into the Village for some supplies it didn't take long for the locals to have make a few comments…

Ooooo well im shocked to see you here again….Cindy scowered from behind the counter at price slice…

Just that thanks…Was Jens reply as she placed a bottle of Water and some chewing gum on the counter..

I heard you made quite the scene at the Dog….Cindy added….Take it Tilly didn't fall into bed with you as quick as she did before….

You know Cindy maybe if you worked harder on your own life and less on others you would have more going for you then stuck behind that counter….What Tilly and I do is really none of your business

…As she said that Esther entered the shop…

Or anyone else's for that matter…She added before leaving the cash on the counter and taking her things….

Ah the cheek….Cindy moaned….As she continued to file her nails…

You couldn't stay away could ya…Esther called out in Jens direction….Jen continued to walk to her car….

She was fine Till you showed back up in her life….

Jen stopped and turnt around…Esther…

Don't Esther me…Esther snapped…You ….you ruined her life…You broke her heart ripped it out ..stood on it then threw her away like a bit of rubbish….

I know your upset…Jen tried to keep her cool…..

You have no idea what I am….Or what you did to Tilly…You didn't stick around to see either….she was a mess…..

You should never had let it go as far as it did….

You think I wanted this? Jen snapped.. You think I wanted to hurt her like I did….You have no idea what I wanted….And you certainly have no idea what Tilly and I Had….

I know that you couldn't have cared for her….Esther replied …I know that you obviously didn't love her. .Or you would never have lied and got her kicked out of Collage…

Jen had enough of arguing with Esther she got into her car….

That's it run…Esther clapped ..Its all your good for…Running away and not facing up to what you have done….

Esther grabbed the window on Jens car…..Why don't you just leave her alone…

Look Esther…It makes no difference if im here or not…Tilly will never love you…Not like you want…

You care for her I get it…But really so do I…..

Its up to Tilly what she decides she wants…

You don't deserve it…..Esther said wiping tears…You don't deserve her heart when you don't look after it…..Why should you have it…..When all you do is break it…..

Why don't you just let her live her life and be with someone that truly deserve her….

I wish Tilly sent you to Jail…Esther spat as she ran away in tears..

Jen slumped in her seat…As much as Esther's words hurt her…she couldn't help but feel sorry for Esther…she knows what its like to be in love with Tilly….

She was just lucky that Tilly loved her back…

But what if Esther was right/? What if Jen didn't deserve Tillys heart….Maybe Jen should leave Tilly alone….

As she pulled off and drove out of the Village she couldn't help but think over Esther's words…

It looked like Jen and Tilly really did need to talk…


	15. Chapter 15

It had been a week since Jen and Tilly last saw each other…they spoke on the phone but Jen kept it up beat and brief. .she knew her and Tilly had things to talk about but knew it had to be face to face..

Tilly had sorted things out with Esther and decided maybe it was best to shrug of What had happened.. Telling Esther that she was a little confused about Jen and she was right…Her and Jen were a no go…

Tilly lied because she felt like her life wasn't in Hollyoaks anymore and what happens between her and Jen was no one business..

Today was Tillys birthday. .she had spent the afternoon with her Mum and Dad ..they had lunch and she opened presents. .Her Parents loved the fact she was home…With Uni and work they had barely seen her…

So love…What are you up to night? Pete her Dad Asked…

Oh im…Umm just gonna got to the loft with Esther and the guys…Nothing special….

Well as long as you have fun love…Carol smiled Kissing her Daughters head…

Tilly checked her phone she was slightly curious as to why Jen hadn't wished her happy birthday yet. It was coming on for 3pm…

Penny for Em…George smiled as he nudged Tilly out of her day dream…

Oh…Tilly smiled…So George…I was well away…

I noticed. .He grinned…so Happy Birthday….He clapped hold out a card…I don't know about you Tills but im ready to hit that dance floor tonight…

Tilly nodded and thanked him for the card….So whose coming tonight?

Well…Me and you of coarse. .George smiled…Esther ,Ruby. .and I think Phebs is coming with her friend Vincent…Oh and Callum said he'll stop by

Tilly frowned ..And Sinead?

Yes well…..Im not sure she will be ..What with the baby and all….And the fact she is barred for drug dealing?

What? Tilly gasped spiting her Coffee out….Drugs?

Oh it's a long story…George said shaking his head. .She's not the same person you once knew..

Tilly was confused…We had Coffee the other day…I met little Katie ..she seemed Fine..

Yeah well that's what she wants to believe….And ways forgot her….So are we all meeting at the Dog then?

Well Esther's is coming here now. .so we can arrange things." .Tilly smiled..

As Esther arrives and takes a seat nest to Tilly ..Tilly's phone vibrates…causing Tilly to smile

Hello you..

Happy Birthday…;0)

Im so sorry its late I've been snowed under at work…

Have a great day wont you ?

Thinking of you

Xxx J xxx

Who's making you smile? Esther's asks..

Oh…Um….No one its just my friend Zoe…You know wishing me happy Birthday….SO….she smiled putting her phone away with out replying…Whats the plan for tonight.,?

Well I say we get ready at mine and go from there. .Esther replied..

They all agreed and after an hour or so went there separate ways ..as soon as Tilly was lone you replied to Jen..

I thought you forgot about me? Lol

Thank you and I will…out with the guys tonight

And im thinking of you too..

Wish you were here. .or I there rather

Xx T

Jen smiled as she read Tilly's message…The big boss had been in the Gallery today so her and Hayley had to be on top form. They hadn't even had time for a lunch break

Help me…Help me…Hayley sulked lying across the Desk…Im wasting away…

Jen laughed…Is some one hungry?

Babe. .Im more then hungry…I so Hungry I'd even eat you…In a non lesbian way of coarse …She added with a giggle…

Ha…So funny….Jen said rolling her eyes….Well The Boss mans gone now so go eat..

Yeah I will…Shell we go get a pub lunch…Hayley suggested

Jen nodded and the two friends set of just up the road…As they walk part the Coffee Shop Tilly works at Hayley turnt to Jen..

Hey…Did you speak to Tills about her sado mate having a go? She asked..

Oh um….No…..Jen sulked..

Why not? Hayley frowned

As the sat down outside ordering food Jen sighed..

I don't know H…I mean as much as she annoyed me ..she didn't say anything that wasn't true…

Maybe she is right…Maybe I should never have walked back into Tilly's life…

Uh. .hold on a sec….You didn't walk back into her life…She let you in ..Jen what's wrong with you? I mean when have you ever cared about what people think?

Jen held her hand to her head…Its not that I care….I mean Esther as always had a thing for Tilly so I know she would never exactly be happy about us…But…well….I keep reliving what happened between us…I was so cruel to her at the end….she shook her head and closed her eyes…

Maybe its un healable. .Maybe the damage is done…Look at the stuff Tilly said to me when she was drunk…

Yeah drunk and emotional…Hayley reminded her…

Granted..! Jen agreed but aren't drunken words sober thoughts?

Hayley laughed ..god I hope not.. I've spouted some bullshit when I've been drunk…And I know for sure it was all lies…

Jen shook her head and laughed under her breath….I don't know…Im trying to stay positive…and we can talk when she's home….Its her Birthday today….

16th? Hayley joked..

Jen through a beer matt at her…will you piss off…..She laughed…She's 20 actually.. ! She's out with her old friends tonight…

Meaning the little interfering one will be there? Hayley joked..

Esther…Yeah…Jen nodded…No doubt trying to turn Tilly against me….

Jen look at everything the two of you have been through together ..Hayley frowned…And 18 months on here you both still are…Can you really see This Esther making a difference…

Jen shrugged…We'll soon see…She moan sipping her wine..

The Loft is busy.. Carmel had treated the group to a bottle of Champagne to celebrate Tilly's Birthday which didn't last very long.. Ruby and George are on the Dance floor dancing to Lady Gaga…

So you having a good night? Esther asks as her and Tilly sit on the Sofa..

Yeah its great…Tilly smiled…Look at him.. she giggled pointing to George putting on his Best Ga Ga moves..

Esther laughed …He's an idiot ..she joked..

Yeah but I wouldn't change him…Tilly smiled checking her phone…

Esther had a feeling that Tilly wasn't completely honest with her about the Jen business…..

You waiting for a call? She asked…causing Tilly to look at her….Its just you've been checking your phone all night…

Have I? Tilly asked shaking her head…I Dunno habit I guess…Living in London and all ..Pick pocketers that kinda thing…

Esther nodded…So I was thinking…Maybe I might like to Move to London…

Really? Tilly asked sipping her drink

Yeah ..it's the fashion capital and all that…Esther smiled… And its not like I wont know anyone …you'll be there….

Tilly's jaw dropped a little…..Uh yeah im there but ..well….its not like we would see each other a lot Es.. I mean between Uni and work I barely socialise…

I know but still…I mean London is the place to be right? It was just a thought anyways…Esther smiled…

As the night moved on George n Ruby were asked to leave for being to drunk…This becoming the cause of the loud laughter running through the Village as the group head back to the Dog…

How embarrassing.. Tilly giggles…

We don't care do we Georgie. .Ruby said matter of fact…We had a great time..

Yup. .George said loudly and its all thanks to my bestest ginger lesbian coming home to celebrate her birthday with us

Yeah and maybe she wont leave it to long again ..Ruby said nudging Tilly…

I know I know im a crap friend. I will try my hardest to come home more….Tilly smiled noticing Esther has gone quiet..

You ok Es?

Esther nodded and sat down near Dirks boat…Yeah im ok….

George and Ruby headed into the Dog leaving Tilly and Esther…

You don't look ok? Tilly said sitting next to her friend….C'mon share with me…

Esther took a deep breath…You wont come back often like you said will you?

Tilly frowned…

You hardly keep in contact now….Esther continued…Its like you have forgotten us..

Tilly felt bad…Its not that Es…its just well…I have to work as much as I can to stay in Uni…Its what I was saying earlier…London is great yes…but well…its no cheap….I barely have time for anything other then Uni and work…

I miss you guys all the time.. If I could come home more I would…Tilly smiled…You know how much you mean to me…

Do you mean that? Esther asked..

Yeah…Esther…Tilly sighed…Our lives will go in different directions…but it doesn't mean I care any less…We will al…Before Tilly could Finish Esther slammed her lips into hers….

Tilly quickly reacts by pushing her away…What are doing?

Esther jumping up quickly realising maybe she shouldn't have done that…Nothing. She said rushing off..

Tilly followed her…No Es wait…As Tilly stopped her. Seriously…Where did that come from? I thought we were friends..

We are. I just….Esther tried to justify her action…..Im drunk..

No Es….Tilly said shaking her head…No your not…Whats going on?….

Esther pulled her arm away from Tilly…..I cant help….I know we decided to be friends but I cant Tilly…I cant…That's why I said about moving to London…me and you….maybe if I lived closer…we cou….

Wait. Esther…Stop…Tilly didn't want Esther to embarrass herself…Es….we agreed friends because that's all we can be….Me and you? I mean c'mon it would never have worked…We're better as friends…

How do you know? We never tired…Esther snapped….

We tried…Tilly said softly…it just wasn't meant to be…

Its her isn't it? Esther blurted out…..

Who? Tilly asked playing dumb…

Oh C'mon Tills don't pretend you don't know….Its always her….

Tilly sighed.. Esther…

No Tilly….How do you think I feel…You used me back then to get over her..

No…Tilly said shaking her head. No that's not true..

Yes…Yes it is. You got with me after her to make yourself feel better…Guilt Tilly…..You felt bad because you and her left me that day..

Esther that's not true…Tilly said tears in her eyes….I love you but only as a friend and im sorry …

No but You love her….The one who broke your heart. The one who only gives a crap about herself.. The one that didn't care about you ..The one who would have left you out in the cold if you hadn't done what you did to her…The one who picked you up and dropped you when she felt like it.. The one who played with you like a little toy

The one who after everything she did to you …you still defended her…you couldn't do it could you? You couldn't hurt her like she did to you….to me….

Esther….how would Jen going to Jail have made any of it better? And she tried to help you ..even you told me that….Look I don't want to fight with you…..Cant we just forget this…Tilly begged, ..put it down to alcohol…

Esther shook her head…No…because I have feelings Tilly….Can you look me in the eye and tell me that last week was a mistake? That you and her was really a one off like you said?

Tilly couldn't do it ..She could see her friend was hurting ..Im sorry Es….I cant help how I feel about her…

Do you think I want to be in love with her still? Tilly cried…I wanted to hate her…I wanted to forget her…I wish I could feel the same way you do Es…I really do….But I cant control who my heart falls for….I lied to you the other day about Jen….And I shouldn't have…The truth is…..I want her….

Esther wiped her tears…Yeah well then you deserve everything you get…I hope your both be very happy together….

But Tilly….Esther said sternly. .Don't look for my support when it all goes wrong and she hurts you again…which she is…

Tilly stood silently as she watch Esther hurry off into the Dog….

This place wasn't the same for her anymore….Tilly decided in the morning she was heading home…back to London…Back to Jen


	16. Chapter 16

Tilly woke up early. .Her argument with Esther played heavily on her mind…

She always knew Esther had feelings for her….all the way back from high school ..And although Tilly tried she just couldn't being herself to feel the same…

As Tilly packs her bags ready to head home she cant help but think about what Esther had said…

Did she really just use Esther to make herself feel better about Jen?

Tilly slumps down on her bed…As she looks around she sighs…Every time she comes back to Hollyoaks it starts to feel less and less like home…

It had been two since Maddie ,Jono and Neil died…Two year since a piece of The old Tilly died too…

Then after the Business with Jen it felt like the rest of her had left…

Tilly was no long that sweet ,shy ,quiet timid girl that use to hold herself up in the library any more..

Her days of hiding in the shadows of Maddie and Sinead were over…

She was on her own now. Making her way through life confident in her own shadow..

Falling in love with Jen helped bring her into her own…For years everything she had she shared ..mainly with Maddie….

Jen was hers and only hers…which Tilly loved…She just wished that Maddie was around to share her hurt and pain …Maddie would have been brutally honest with her but also would have been their to support Tilly in her darker days

As she sits and thinks of her friends and how much she misses them ..she realises that ..Friendship is important and you should always try to keep it….Because one day the ones you care for most might not be here….

After she's all packed she decides to go and see Esther ..hoping that maybe they can sort things out and remain friends….

As she enters the Dog she's faced with a stern looking Frankie….

And what do you want? She spits…

Frankie!….Darren frowns….

Its ok Darren.! .Tilly smiles…Im looking for Esther…

Well she doesn't want to see you…Frankie moans,,

Told you that did she.? Tilly asks sarcastically…

Don't get smart with me young lady….Frankie warns…You just leave my Granddaughter alone ..you hear? I think you've done enough damage ..

I just want to see her…ok? Tilly says..5 minutes and I'll leave…

I'll call her for you ..Darren smiles ..giving Frankie a disappointing look…

Your do no such thing. Frankie snaps…

Why don't you go back to London and leave her alone….You and that Teacher have caused her enough damage…Its because of you two that my Grand daughter almost died…

Uh ..Frankie…Nancy snapped…You cant say that…It wasn't Tilly's fault

No? Whose fault was it then..? Frankie asked…It was them two who left her alone that night…Up to god knows what. Which by the way disgusts me…You and that Jen women cavorting in secret…

She should have been locked away…And you? Well I thought better of you….

Tilly shook her head…You know Frankie…What went on or goes on between me and Jen is none of your god damn business. And as for whose fault it was Esther tried to take her own live.. you might want to look a little closer to home. You're her guardian after all…Isn't your job to look after her…?

You little ….

Darren if you could Tell Esther im outside I'd appreciate that…Tilly Intupted as she folded her arms and walked out of the pub….

Frankie's Jaw had hit the floor…What a nasty piece of work she's become..

Cant say you didn't deserve it Frankie…Nancy informed her….agreeing with Tilly

Excuse me…Frankie snapped..

Ok ok….lets leave it there ..Darren said ushering Nancy up stairs….Frankie its up to Esther if she wants to see Tilly or not…

Tilly waited about 10 minutes for Esther to come outside…As she was about to Leave Esther appeared at her Window..

What do you want? She asked..

Tilly looking up holding her hand over her eyes to shield them from the sun…Well I was hoping we could talk….

Nothing to talking about Tilly…Esther shrugged…I think we said it all last night…

Es…C'mon…Tilly tutted. .Im going back to London now. .I don't want us to fall out…

Back to her? Esther moaned…

Tilly rolled her eyes…Esther….please…Come down..

No…I don't know you anymore Tilly…your not the same person you once were….Esther explained with tears in her eyes…

We all have to grow up Es…Everyone changes…But im still me…Im still your friend.. Tilly pleaded…Come down and we can talk….

Esther shook her head…No….I told Jen she didn't deserve you…That she had no right to be the one that gets your heart because she breaks it when it suits her…..I said she should leave you to get on with your life…But you know what Tilly?

I was wrong…she deserves you like you do her…You deserve everything she does to you….When she breaks your heart again….Your have no one to blame but yourself….

Tilly frowned…What do you mean you told Jen?

Yeah that's right. .before she left last week….But I shouldn't have bothered…I hope your both be very happy together…Esther sobbed as she shut the Window…Tilly stood in a daze…

Jen and Esther had an altercation before she left yet Jen hasn't mentioned it….Great "Tilly sighed. .Jen's probably over thought about it which means she's probably been freaking out ..

Tilly accepted the fact Esther wasn't willing to be friends…As she went to leave …Frankie was at the door.. she had watched and listened to everything that had happened…

Happy now? She said with her arms folded…You and That Teacher should be ashamed of yourselves. Still carrying on with out a care in the world…Degusting the pair of you…

Tilly laughed… Frankie. .why don't you just shut up and do us all a favour...I don't know how poor Jack puts up with you…If you were my wife I'd have thrown you in that lake by now…

Frankie gasped….She had never known Tilly to be abrupt…Yes well Im glad my Esther has seen you for what you really are girl….Frankie shouted calling out to Tilly as she walked off…

Over the last year Tilly had grew to not let things get to her so easily…She knew that Esther had made her mind up that she no longer wanted to be friends and Tilly wasn't about to beg her…She said her goodbyes to her parents and headed back home…

Once she got back to her flat she was met with the mess of her drunken moment…She hadn't bothered to tidy up that morning after she headed straight to Jens to apologise for her outburst ..After the Jo incident and her heading back to Hollyoaks the Flat was a mess…As Tilly emptied her bag and put a load of washing on she quickly sent a text to jen then began to clean up….

Hey..

Im home..

A little earlier then planned

But will tell you all when I see you ..xxxT

As Tilly cleaned up she felt a little sad as she picks up a broken photo frame. .the glass all smashed hiding the smiling faces of her and Maddie….

Pulling the photo out and wiping it of the glass she strokes Maddie's face…God I miss you…

Her heart skips a beat as her phone vibrates..

Wow…I didn't expect you for 2 more day yet..;0)

Im home if you want to come see me…

If your not busy of coarse x J

Tilly smiled. .From Jen's text she seemed ok…Maybe A hug might help Tilly feel better…

She quickly finished cleaning and took a shower…Rushing across town she knocked on Jens door…

As Jen opens it Tilly falling into her arms…

Whoa…Where's the fire…Jen jokes and she wraps her arms around Tilly…

Hold me Jen….Just hold me…


	17. Chapter 17

Jen done as Tilly asked and held the red head tight…

Whats wrong? She asked worriedly as she stroked the back of Tillys head….

Tilly nuzzled into Jen's neck…Nothing…I just need a hug….

Jen squeezed Tilly once more and pulled away….People don't usually need that kinda hug for no reason….C'mon? Tell me…

Tilly sighed as she sat at Jen's kitchen table…I don't know why I let it get to me really.. she huffed…

Jen put the kettle on to make Coffee…Let what get to you?

Tilly slumped down into the chair…I had a big fight with Esther before I left…well its kind of why I left early…..

Oh…Jen muttered….

Yeah oh….Tilly repeated…I think you can kinda guess why….considering she had a go at you as well…

She told you? Jen asked..

Yeah which begs the question …Why didn't you tell me? Tilly moaned..

Jen made the Coffee then turnt to face Tilly folding her arms across her chest…. She was just sounding off…Jen shrugged…

Even so…we spoke every day when I was away and you never once mentioned it..

Im not exactly one for telling tails Tilly…..Jen frowned placing Tillys Coffee on the table…

Well maybe if you would of told me then I would have been prepared.. Tilly moaned..

Tilly people back in Hollyoaks are always gonna have an opinion…That's what happens in a small place like that…I wasn't going to tell you for you to be annoyed with her was I?

Anyways what did she say? Why did you end up arguing?

Tilly rolled her eyes ..Well….we all went to the loft ..had a great night. Then she started going on about moving down here….and that she would be closer to me…Next thing I knew she kissed me..

Kissed you? Jen gasped. .almost spilling her Drink…

Tilly nodded…Yup…..When I explained that we were better off as friends she completely flipped at me. .Going on about you…Saying all kinda of stuff…like how mad I was ..and that I need to remember what happened between us….how you'd hurt me..blah blah blah….

Anyways the next day I went to try clear the air and I got it from her as well as Frankie ..That Frankie's a nightmare….

Jen stood quietly taking in that Tilly was saying…She felt guilty that again because of her Tilly was in the firing line for upset…

Told her I felt sorry for Jack and that if she were my wife I'd have thrown her in the lake by now..Tilly laughed looking at Jen expecting her to find it humorous ..

Instead Jen looked to the floor..

I guess you had to be there…Tilly smirked. .Jen? ….Jen? Tilly called raising her voice…

What? Oh sorry…Yeah she is a nightmare….Jen agreed…

Tilly could sense something wasn't right…So? What did Esther say to you?

Jen swallowed hard.. she really didn't want to go over it all again…Oh pretty much

The same. .She shrugged..

Tilly wanted to know.. she wasn't about to let Jen brush it under the carpet…

Yes but what exactly did she say? Tilly asked again..

Exhaling hard Jen shook her head….Tilly …Esther is your friend…and obviously has feelings for you hence why she tried to kiss you….And We…..I….didn't exactly do enough to help her when she needed it the most did I.? ..So naturally she isn't exactly going to ask me how my day is….

Tilly was getting annoyed at Jen's resistance to tell her the whole story..

Yeah ok…all that aside. .What did she say?

Jen wet her lips her throat felt a little dry.. she wasn't bothered about telling Tilly what Esther had said it was more of the case of how it made Jen feel…..How her words cut a little deep….

She just had a go Tilly….you know stuff like.. How I had a nerve to show my face… how I don't deserve you ..How I….Jen didn't want to say the next part…it brought a lump to her throat..

How you? Tilly quizzed…

Just that kinda stuff…Jen moaned…We're back here now so why does it matter…?

Tilly got up from her chair and walked towards Jen…..How you what?

Jen felt uncomfortable having Tilly so close…How you what Jen? Tilly asked again this time her tone told Jen she wasn't willing to let it drop

Jen looked at Tilly then to the floor…..How I….how I don't deserve your heart when I don't take care of it….

Tilly frowned the rolled her eyes closing the gap between them both…With a smile she cupped Jens face….Well it's a good job we didn't ask for her opinion then isn't it?…She said as she gently enveloped Jen's lips between hers…

Realising that Jen wasn't Kissing her back Tilly pulled away.. Still cupping Jen's face…Looking into her eyes…

What?

Jen just shook her head…

Jen? Tell me…..Tilly whispered…

I just….Biting her lip Jen braced herself…I just feel that …well…..Well that Maybe….I don't know Tilly…..She wasn't exactly wrong in what she said….I mean.. she had a point…Jen blurted out…

Oh here we go…Tilly moaned as she moved away from Jen…

What ? Jen asked confused…What do you mean "here we go"…

Tilly was in a mad mood by now…she wasn't willing to have any kind of relationship with Jen like she did back all that time ago..

Well I thought it might happen but didn't realise it would be so quick…

Jen shook her head…Knew what would happen? Tilly what do you mean…

Tilly had her arms folded as if she was guarding her heart…This…..You…..freaking out…..questioning what us….Or whatever this is….

Jen couldn't help but frown…she didn't understand why Tilly was acting the way she was…..Tilly…Im not doing anything of the sort…All I said was she had a point….

Yes Jen that is all you said ..but what you say and what goes on in that head of yours is a different thing all together ..I know how you work.. Tilly ranted….I know that you've probably been over analysing everything Esther said to you….Wondering if she is right ….Wondering if maybe you should leave me alone…..Wonder if maybe it was a mistake us meeting up again…..

Infact I bet the reason you never mentioned it on the phone was because you knew how I'd react….

No Tilly that isn't it ..Jen pleaded…It just hit home a little that's all….The fact remains is that …I did hurt you…I did break your heart…Over and over….

Its in the past Jen….Tilly interrupted…And I told you before I don't want to keep living in the past…

Jen took a seat…She could see Tilly was annoyed and didn't want things to get out of hand…

Ok….look…Sit down…Please. .Jen begged tapping the table…

I guess maybe she made me face up to the fact that even I wonder why the hell you would even consider giving me another chance….She said softly….

Tilly sat down…Across from Jen.. she didn't want to sit close to her…She sat still for a few moments just staring at Jen….Jen wasn't sure what Tilly was thinking….She wasn't even sure how annoyed Tilly was ..her body language was dead…..

After a few more moments Tilly began to tap the table….

Jen…..She swallowed hard…..I understand that Esther probably said something's that hit a nerve…And I get that it probably wasn't easy to hear I didn't exactly enjoy it myself … I can understand you hold some guilt over what happened to her….so do I…

But if what she said made you question what ever this is.. Tilly added pointing to herself and Jen…then shaking her head…

Then were over before we've even begun…

Im not that 17 year old girl anymore Jen…..

Tillllllllllllllllly Jen sulked..

No…Please let me get this out Jen…..Please? Tilly begged…back then I would have done anything for you…Anything ...I think the Oz tickets proofed that…Tilly said reminding herself what a stupid idea that was….

I'd wait all day just to get a smile from you ..And when I did ….It use to make my day…I'd get butterflies every time my phone went off….Hoping it was you….I put you before my friends every time ..and I never felt bad about it…..Because I loved you….Nothing in my life meant more to me…..Nothing…Tilly emphasised …And although we spoke about it and I fully understood how things had to be between us in public…Even though I knew the dangers and what would of happened if we had got caught…Every time you would walk past me and didn't acknowledge me… It killed me ….And I'd feel sad…deep inside I felt sad…

Then as soon as we met at the folly or shack…One kiss from you…would take it all away…

As Tilly spoke Jen had that horrible knot in her stomach…her eyes were filled with tears. .she tried with all her might to keep them from rolling down her cheeks…

And you know looking back ..Tilly continued….Looking back at all the times you dropped me….I just waited and waited until you wanted to pick me up again…and before you say anything…I know you just wanted to do the "RIGHT" thing….

I hate that you refer to yourself as a toy….Like I used you when I wanted too. .Jen moaned…That wasn't the case Tilly…I was in a constant battle with head and my heart…

I know….Now…Now I know…now I understand Jen…..But there is something you need to understand….

When Maddie and the boys died. .So did part of me….I changed… And that day I sat at Diane's and watched you leave….The rest of me left with you….

That girls gone Jen….Im not that Tilly anymore…And if that's who your expecting? well…Maybe its best we end here….Call what happened at Maxine's a one off….One for old times sake if you like….

What? No? Jen cried..Tilly…look this is all just blown out of proportion….All I meant was that Esther wasn't wrong for saying what she did….

No Jen…your doing what you always did….You use to over think things and it was me and my heart that had to take the brunt of it….

And all I m saying is….Well all Im doing is. Letting you know that the Tilly you had then isn't the Tilly that is sat before you….

Your not the responsible adult anymore…Im not the stupid teenage kid….Im a 20 year old women…And I've had some of the life experiences you so desperately wanted me to have….Your not the only one with a past anymore Jen..

I don't need you to have all the answers…I make mistakes just like you do….I've done things im not proud of…I have a different life now….

As Tilly spoke Jens first thoughts were …Oh god I've ruined this girl…I've took away all the innocents from her…..But as she listened on she noticed more that this Women in front of her hadn't changed she just grew into her maturity.. The "Old" Tilly was still there…underneath…

Tilly stood up…walking towards the front door..

Where you going? Jen panicked

Im going home Jen…She said bluntly…I think you need to really think about what you want..

I don't …Tilly look…Just sit down..

Tilly shook her head….. I need to go….I want you to think about what I said…And well…..I guess you have my number and you know where I live…

And with that before Jen had the chance to speak Tilly had left…Jen slumped into her chair. .Exhaling heavily… Shit…


	18. Chapter 18

Jen woke up early with Tilly on her mind…she kicked herself that she just let her leave the way she did…

As She made some toast her mind drifted back to their conversation…Tilly really had matured into her self…she was right ..she wasn't a young 17 year old any more. She defiantly was a women….A beautiful strong minded women..

Oi .you trying to set the flat a light?…Hayley gasped as she popped the toaster..

What? Jen frowned…Oh sorry…She said once she realised she had let the toast burn….

Whats up? Hayley asked…cleaning away Jen's mess…

Jen shook her head…Oh nothing…Everything…Its Tilly…

What? All ready? Hayley joked..

Jen rolled her eyes at her friend….I don't know…I just opened my big mouth and shouldn't have….

Best you go and sort it out then…Hayley smiled grabbing her bag…Sorry babes I Gotta get to work before the Boss man turns up…Tell me about it when you get in yeah?

Jen waved Hayley off As she stood finishing off her Coffee…she decided she needed to sort things out with Tilly…

Taking her phone in her hand she starts to type…

Are you at home? J x

The replies came quickly…Like Tilly was sat on her phone waiting….

Nope….Im at work ..T

No kiss Jen noticed…..

Ok. .so when are you done? J x

Working till 3pm…T

Jen shook her head…Tilly was making her work for it..

Ok ..and once your done? Will you be home then? ..J x

Probably…T..

So maybe if I was to come to your place at saaaaay…3.20PM…

Your be home? J x

Guess so….T

Jen shook her head…That stroppy teen was still in there somewhere…she thought to herself…

Tilly smiled she knew she was offish with Jen but wasn't about to let her think its ok to turn hot and cold on her every time there was a little blip in their relationship…If they were going to give it another go its certainly wasn't gonna be all on Jen's terms….

As The day went on Jen kept looking at her watch….

Somewhere you would rather be Miss Gilmore? Asked a well built Italian good looking gentleman in his early 40s…

Uh no….Jen shook her head ..Not at all Mr Mazzota…..

Mr Mazzota was the man who owned the Gallery Jen and Hayley worked at…..He was a Bit of a slave driver ..every time he was due to come Hayley went into Manager over drive…

I wouldn't want to keep you…He said sarcastically…..

Jen frowned…Obviously not…Im here aint I ..….….Jen replied…She wasn't going to suck up to this man….the way she saw it was her and Hayley worked their asses off for this guy and were valuable to his Company so he needed her more then she needed him…

Hayley was behind Mr mazzota…shaking her head…warning Jen to behave…

Mazzota looked hard at Jen…as if he was reading her….A moment later he smiled. You have balls….I like that…..Maybe we should go for a drink…

Jens jaw dropped…Was her boss asking her out….This was awkward…

A drink? Jen repeated..

Yes …me and you…Alone ..He replied..

Hayley was cringing behind him…even to watch it was awkward…

Uh….well….Um…you see the thing is Mr Mazzota….Its well….Im….well….I….Jen struggled..

What Jen is trying to say is that she's a lesbian…Hayley smiled as she stood next to Jen…

Mr Mazzota was a little shocked…then suddenly felt embarrassed…Oh…..Oh I ..um….Well….that's good….Yes…Very good….So…Um….He muttered scratching his head…Well Hayley I think im happy with everything here…so ..um…I'll…..Um…

That's Great….Ill see you out shell I…Hayley smiled as she ushered the man to the door…

Once she came back her and Jen burst in to a fit of laughter…..Oh my god…how Embarrassing…Jen laughed..

Yeah for him…Hayley added…Babes I bet we hardly see him now…

Jen shook her head wiping the tears from her eye….Poor guy…..

Checking her watch again …Shit…..H I have to leave early….she panicked realising it was 3pm….

What? Jen…you cant babe…we have loads to do…..Hayley gasped..

Oh please..H …I need to see Tilly I have to sort something's out…Jen begged…I told her ill meet her at her flat if I don't show she'll probably think im not interested …..Please..?

Hayley roiled her eyes…Oh you're a pain in my back side…GO on…before I change my mind…

Jen giggled blowing her a kiss…Love you…..She smiled as she rushed out the door…

Tilly had a boring day at work…Just as she was about to leave Zoe stopped by….

Tills….I need a large glass of Red and a mate to moan at…She sulked as she placed her head on the counter….

Smmmmh..Why Whats up? Tilly laughed..

My life….Zoe laughed….I've had a shitty day and I need to get drunk…Sooooo You coming?

Oh …um…..Tilly hadn't told her friend about the recent turn of events in her life…she wanted to keep the Jen stuff to herself for now…

Babe im really sorry but I cant…Tilly said apologetically….I have like a mountain of Uni stuff to do..

Pleassse…Zoe begged. I'll help you catch up tomorrow. Lets just go out and have fun….

Tilly shook her head…Really I cant… we can the weekend …I promise…..

Zoe pretended to cry…..My life's fucked up and now I have no friends…

Tilly laughed ..You have friends…just not alcoholic ones…

After 10 minutes Zoe gave in and headed to the Uni bar to meet some other class mates while Tilly strolled home…As she headed into her building up the stairs to her flat she was shocked to see Jen stood leaning against the wall…with her arms folded across her chest…Thought you forgot about me? She smiled..

Tilly shrugged…..Got stuck talking to Zoe….she explained as she opened the door and walked in…flipping her shoes off…

Jen stood in the door way….So can I come in?

Free country…Tilly called out..

Jen laughed …as she headed into the flat walking straight over to Tilly grabbing her waist turning her round so she could see her face….Leaning into her…Jen smiles…

You know you may have gotten older Miss Evans but your still that stroppy teenager you use to be….

Oh really? Tilly moaned trying to pull away from Jen….

Jen wasn't about to let Tilly get away that easily….holding her tighter she grins…Yes really…Look…Im sorry…I was an idiot and I know that…Your completely right.! .I cant keep freaking out and I shouldn't care about what other people say….I know I want you….now more then ever….And again I am truly sorry….

Tilly looked into Jens eyes she could see she was genuine….Jen…..things cant be how they use to be….We cant survive like that….if this is going to work it has to be about us and only us…..Tilly explained…

I know…And I realise that…..Jen agreed….I just don't want you to think im running scared….because im not….Im here if you'll have me…She grinned stroking Tillys hair…

Tilly pouted and thought for a second…..I don t know…..I'll have to think about it….

Jen rolled her eyes….she could see Tilly was being playful..

Ok soooooooooooooooooo what can I do to help make your mind up…..Jen asked seductively…

Well….Tilly smiled as she played with Jens top button of her shirt….You could….umm…I don't know…maybe you could…..Tilly stopped as her lips slowly touched Jens…..

Jen felt a rush of excitement come over her. .her and Tilly hadn't been this close since Maxine and her parents place…Jen instantly heated up the kiss by entering Tillys mouth with her tongue….As they playfully tease each other with Kisses Tilly begins to un button Jens shirt…as she reached the end Jen pulled away…

Don't I even get offered a Coffee ?

Nope ..Tilly said bluntly….as she cups Jens breasts in her hands Kissing her neck….

Tilly…Jen muttered.. Can we…

Tilly kissed Jen hard forcing her to stop talking…She moved her self on to the arm rest of the sofa pulling Jen in closer…..

Tilly begins to massage Jens breast lacing her stomach with kisses…Jen feels on fire at Tillys touch…she runs her fingers through Tillys red locks…breathing in very inch of her…..as Tilly continues to make make her mark on Jens body…Jen suddenly stops her..

What? Tilly frowns…Whats wrong?

Jen stands silent for a while as much as she wanted Tilly right there and then she felt like they needed to take things slowly…Tilly ….I ..I think …Well maybe ..we should….slow down…

Slow down? Tilly asked confused ..Jen….we have done this before….quite a lot if I remember….

Jen shook her head….Tut…I know…I just think…..well maybe we just need to go slow….I don't want to mess this up…

And you think by us not having sex is going to help? Tilly laughed mocking Jen…

Im serious….Jen moaned ..I think it would be better for us if we just ….

Jen…Tilly interrupted….In case you have forgot we actually have had sex already. .Like a few times. She giggled. But….I understand what you mean….

You do? Jen asked surprised…

Nope…Tilly laughed pulling Jen over to her bed…..Now get on there. Gilmore…You have some making up to do…..


	19. Chapter 19

Jen began to laugh…Since when did you become the dominant type…?

Since you thought you could tell me we weren't going to have sex …Tilly laughed as she leant Jen on to the bed…Admiring Jen's chest through her open shirt….

Tilly I wasn't joking when I said we should go slow…Jen repeated..

And I wasn't joking when I told you …you had some making up to do…Tilly swooned as she crawled on top of Jen….placing her legs either side of the brunette…..

Now listen….I fully understand what you mean about going slow…..Tilly explained… And I agree ..we should…we need to do things right this time…

But….she grinned…..That's the mental side of things…There is no way we could stop the physical even if we wanted to….Because you…Jennifer Gilmore are far to god damn hot for me to resist…

Sooooooooooooooooo…..Tilly added as she slowly kissed Jen's neck….Stop trying to play hard to get and just go with it…..

Jen's breathing became heavy the feel of Tilly controlling her was amazing…Tilly had took hold of Jens hands lifting them over her head .. Jen found it frustrating that she couldn't touch the Red head…Her heat was rising fast and all she could do was let Tilly take the lead…..

As Tilly moved her lips across Jens Neck onto her collar bone Jen couldn't help notice Tilly was much more confident then she was way back before….She never noticed it as much at Maxine's that night because she was so nervous and there was so much built up tension….

Tilly moved her body against Jen's in a slow motion ..gliding her hand over Jens thigh…making Jen shudder….

Tilly….? Jen whispers…

Tilly didn't want to talk …she slammed her lips into Jen's..Kissing her hungrily ….Using her tongue to deepen the moment…Letting go of Jen's hand which instantly moved to Tillys waist….Holding Tilly as she rocked against her..

Tilly removed her vest and locked lips with Jen again….Tilly again taking the lead lifted Jens leg around her waist so she could gain more access to Where Jen wanted her most…As she lowers her lips onto Jen chest and down her stomach Jen arches her back. .her body now begging for Tilly….

Tilly knows What Jen wants and takes no time in giving it to her…She slowly runs her hands up Jens skirt and into her underwear…The feel of Jens wetness makes Tilly smile…she teases Jen by sliding her fingers through her lips ..paying extra attention to Jens clitoris ..Jen gasps for breath at Tillys touch…

As Tilly continues to tease Jen…She knows Jen is aching for her to enter her ..Her body is reacting to Tillys touch…Her hands gripped tightly onto the bed sheet….Her head buried deep into the pillow….Tilly makes her way back up to Jen's lips…Jen sucks her in deeply entering her tongue. .urging Tillys to dance with hers….As the two kiss Tilly pulls Jen's skirt and underwear off…Leaving Jen exposed and at her mercy….Tilly whispers in Jen's ear..

Tell me what you want? She teases…As she using the tip of her tongue to run up and down Jen's neck..

Tilly….Jen mutters…Mmmmmm God Tilly…

Tilly smiles underneath her kiss….She use to love Getting Jen so turnt on….Back then she worried she might not have been good enough or worried she wasn't able to please Jen…

Now on the other hand Tilly knows how to please a women and she knew she was going everything right By the moans of the beauty underneath her…

Tell me what you want? Tilly whispers again…

Jen takes a deep breath her mind can only concentrate of what Tilly is doing to her inside her underwear…Still teasing her…Jen is about to explode…

You….Jen gasps….I want you…I want you so much…..She cries as she grabs Tilly Kissing her hard….

As soon as Those words leave Jens mouth Tilly plunges her fingers into Jen….Jen lets out a cry of ecstasy ..Her body shakes and her legs turn to Jelly….

Tilly deepens her motion …Her fingers sliding in and out of Jen …As Jen's breathing becomes erratic Tilly decides she needs to taste her…She can feel Jen's about to realise so she makes her way down to Jens intimate area…..Taking her in …sucking her deeply…

Jen's cries become louder as she lets go and gives in to Tilly….

Tilly holds Jen tight as her body shakes its way through her orgasism …..Lacing her with light kisses on her lips and neck …

After a few moments Jen lay heavy as she breathing returns to normal….Tilly watches her as she stares into to space…

Earth to Jen…Tilly joked waving her hand in front of Jen….You ok?

Jen smiled…Yeah….sorry…Yeah I am….I just forgot how amazing you were that's all…

Tilly grinned….Well that's shameful Gilmore…Because…I….she swooned…I never forgot just how amazingly sexy you are…She laughed as she wrapped her arm around The former teacher….

Jen laughed as Tilly tickled her….Tilly….She said becoming seriously….I just wanna tell you something…

Oooooook….Tilly frowned. Giving Jen some space…

Jen sat up….I don't know what went through your mind when you decided to give me another chance…I really don't…But I thank god you did…..I want you to know…I've never been as lonely as I have these last 2 years….But with in minutes of seeing you…Its gone….All my sadness…Gone….

Jen…Tilly smiled..

Let me get this out….Please…Jen begged….What I guess im trying to say is…Taking a deep breath….I love you….And I want this to work…I will do everything I can to make it work…I promise..

Tilly saw the seriousness in Jens eyes…..I Love you too….She smiled as she kissed Jen gently…

Now.. Come here so I can show you just how amazing I am…..

Jen laughed…Tilly im not sure my body can take that all over again….

Tilly giggled…Awwwwe C'mon Gilmore…I'll go easy on you….


	20. Chapter 20

Jen and Tilly had spent as much tine as they could together…Mostly staying at Tillys …so they could be alone…Hayley was great at giving then their space but they decided it wasn't fair on her….

Jen arrives at Tillys after a long day at work….As she uses her key to enter the flat she is meet but loud laughter…

Hey baby ..Tilly grinned getting up off the floor to kiss her…Got a few of the girls round…Want a drink?

Jen was exhausted she really didn't feel like socialising tonight. .she had hoped it was just going to be her and Tilly snuggled up on the sofa…

Uh…No I..um…im fine thanks..Jen said refusing the offer of alcohol

Tilly's place wasn't big enough for Jen to hide away so instead she had to endure being sociable…

Jen this is my friends Casey, Jemma and Lou…Oh and your know Zoe…Tilly joked putting her hand in Zoë's face….

Jen had met Zoe a few times and she had actually grown on her…Jen thought she was a nice girl who was a little confused of her sexuality and a little lost in life…

Hi…Jen muttered..

So Finally we meet you. Casey grinned…Tilly is no stop Jen this ..Jen that…She laughed…

Jen forced a smile….

Jemma and Casey seemed nice enough ..Jen was un sure of Lou…she hadn't really spoke to Jen the whole time…

Oi…I cant help it if If im crazy about the girl..Tilly winked…

Jen felt warm inside.. it was nice that Tilly had spoke so fondly about her to her friends..

Anywayss…..Lou…said sarcastically…Lets go out and get drunk…

Im in…Casey clapped…Zoe agreed and Jemma declined she had work early so headed off home..

Tills? Lou asked raising her eyebrows…

Uh can do…..Jen? She asked..

Uh no….Jen said shaking her head…I um….I'd rather not tonight..

Ohhhhhhhhhh Tilly pouted….

Im tired. You go though…jen suggested not wanting to ruin Tillys night or look controlling

But I want you to come…Tilly sulked…Pleassssssssssssssssssssssse…

Tilly..really….I've had a long day…You go with your friends…Jen smiled…

That's that then. Lou butted in…C'mon lets go…

Tilly told her friends to wait outside for her and she would follow…as they left she turnt to Jen..

You sure your ok with me going?

What ? Tilly..you can do what you want..Jen frowned..

I know…I just…Well I feel a little bad…..how about you come with me for a bit…

Jen shook her head.. Seriously Tilly…Im tired. I just want a bath and chill out in front of the TV…

Mmmmmmmmmmmm sounds good to me….Tilly grinned pulling Jen closer…Do you want me to stay in?

Yes yes yes yes…Jen screamed in her head…..No don't be silly…You go out and I'll um…Well I guess I'll go home…

What? No…..Oh Jen..please don't go home…Tilly sulked…I'll stay in…

Jen knew she would look like the bad guy keeping Tilly in if she said yes….As much as she really just wanted Tilly to herself to night she knew she couldn't…

No you go….Jen said forcing a smile…I'll stay tonight….I'll be here when you get home ok?

Tilly grinned…Really?

Yeah…Jen nodded…

Oooooo..Tilly clapped….Good…I wont stay out to late ok? …I'll be home to cuddle up with you..

Sounds great..Jen winked Kissing Tilly lightly…

Uh….Is that it? Tilly frowned….Grabbing Jen by her collar pulling her in for a deep lingering kiss….

As she pulled away she tapped Jen's nose…I love you…

I love you too…..Jen replied…

Tilly left leaving jen alone in her flat…She slumped on the sofa….Sighing heavily…Why did she say she would stay over ? She thought…

Taking a shower and climbing into Tillys bed she flicks through the TV….She mind keeps drifting back to Tillys friends…Most of Tilly's friends had been really warm and welcoming to her….

Tonight was a little weird…Jemma and Casey chatted to Jen…Asking her questions to get to know but This Lou…She was different. She had no intentions of trying to get to know her Friends Girl friend…

Jen wondered if maybe she was the shy type? …or maybe she was the kind of girl that doesn't like anyone coming into her fold?…..Maybe she was like Maddie and hated the thought of sharing Tilly with anyone….

Jen checked the time it was coming up to 11.45PM…Tilly had left at 7pm telling Jen she wouldn't be out late…

But jen herself knew all to well what happens after a few drinks. Time just seems to slip by…she didn't really expect Tilly back any time soon….

Sending Tilly a text…She turnt the lights out and went to sleep….

Over at the students bar Tilly and her friends have indulged in tequila slammers…

Zoe and Casey are up doing Karaoke while Tilly and Lou sit laughing their heads off…

C'mon Tills. Your round…Lou insisted..

Uh how do you work that out? Tilly laughed..

Uh cause Zoe got the last one so it goes in a circle. Lou explained..

Oh and uh where do you come in the circle then?Tilly frowned..

After you lot…..Lou joked causing Tilly to playfully push her….

As Tilly heads to the bar her phone vibrates…Lou looks over to Tilly picking it up…

With Tillys back turnt Lou reads her message…

Im going to sleep now…

Don't worry about rushing back. Enjoy yourself with your friends..ok?

I'll be keeping your side of the bed warm..;0)

Love you..xxxxxxxxxxxx J…

Lou screws her face up and quickly deletes the message…placing Tillys phone back..

Zoe and Casey head back to the table in fits of laughter…

Tell ya what..Beyonce aint got nothing on us aint that right babe….Zoe jokes high 5ing Casey..

Damn right baby girl….Casey laughs..

More like dying cats…Lou sulks…Zoe reacted by sticking her finger up at her…

As Tilly brings the drinks back they all cheer downing the shots…

Tilly spluttered….Wow….She choked…This is my last …I cant handle the burn. She joked…

Yeah..Zoe laughed ..Uh didn't you say you told Jen you wouldn't be late?

Tilly gasped…Looking at her watch seeing it was gone 12.….Shit…..Oh no….

Oh well…Lou moaned your out now,,,Fuck it…

Tilly flicked her on her arm…Shut up you. She laughed…Im going to the Lou….

As Tilly disappeared Lou scowered at Zoe….What did you say that for?

Zoe shrugged…What? She did sat she wont be late…

Oh right so now she's sleeping with someone means she has to be boring and go home early? Lou snapped..

Uh I think it's a little more then sleeping with her…Zoe said matter of fact…Tills is in love..

Oh fuck off…Lou said dismissing Zoe…..Don't keep going on about it or Tills will go home…

Zoe looked at Casey who raised her eyebrows…as if to say "Whats her problem"?…

Once Tilly was back she had one more beer then informed her friends she was done for the night…Casey and Zoe agreeing to head home too…

Oh for god sake…Lou moaned…You lot are lightweights…

Uh actually missy…we have work and Uni tomorrow…Tilly informed her…We don't all have the luxury of Daddy paying our way…She laughed…Anyways…Its Jemma's birthday tomorrow so we will have a proper night out then…..

Kissing Lous cheek…Tilly grins…See ya tomorrow grumpy..

Lou sinks her shot…Yeah whatever…

As the others head home.. Zoe and Casey walk Tilly home…Shhhhhhhhhhh your piss heads..Tilly laughs…Your wake my neighbours…

It was to late due to the window being open their laughter had woke Jen…she lay in the dark waiting for Tilly to come inside…

As Tilly struggles with the door…jen climbs out of Bed opening it…

Oh..sorry…Tilly grimaced…I didn't mean to wake you…

Its fine..Jen mutter climbing back into bed…Checking the time of her phone. Noticing Tilly hadn't replied to her message…

Tilly removed her clothes climbing into bed….Wrapping her arm around Jen…

Your cold…Jen moans…

I know that's why I need to hold you close. .Tilly laughed…Sorry im back later then I planned..

I blame Lou…She kept plying me with shots…

Never mind..Jen muttered not really wanting to hear about it…

Case and Zo..were so funny tonight…Tilly laughed. They took over the karaoke…

Hmmmmm. Jen moaned…

Zo thinking she was beyonce….

Tilly? ..Can you tell me tomorrow…Im really tired…Jen sulked..

Oh…yeah…Tilly frowned…sorry….

Jen could smell the alcohol on Tilly's breath as she Kissed her shoulder…

Sooooooooooooo Tilly swooned. Exactly how tired are you? She teased as she ran her hand across Jens behind…

Tilly…Its gone 2am….Jen moaned…

I know but what's another half hour…Tilly giggled nibbling Jen's ear lobe….

Jen turnt on to her back…Tilly…Your pretty drunk…Your gonna have a hang over tomorrow. I think its wise you just get some sleep….

Tilly shook her head…I don't want to sleep…I want ….She smiled as she Kissed Jen s lips…

Jen pulled away…Good night Tilly…

Tilly laughed…Are you seriously turning me down?

Yes….Tonight I am..Jen said bluntly….

Tilly huffed…Meany….. How ever I will let you off….seen as though you stayed here waiting for me….

She cuddling back into Jen who had turnt on her side again…

Jen….Tilly whispered…

Mmmmm?

I love you…

Jen smiled. You sure?

Tilly laughed…Yeah I am…Now shhh go to sleep…

Jen shook her head…Good night Tilly…

Night Jen…


	21. Chapter 21

Jen sat drinking her Coffee watching Tilly search the cupboard ..As She begins to pull the contents ..

Jen throws a packet of Pills on the table…

Looking for these? She says…

Tilly turns to see pain killers on the table…

Oh life saver. .she smiles…

Hang over? Jen frowns..

Tilly stands washing the pills down with a very large glass of water…Yeah little one…She laughs…

She wraps her arms around Jens neck leaning her chin on her shoulder…Im sorry about last night….

Jen sipped her Coffee….What about it?

Tilly shrugged…Well you came over and I buggered off out …Wasn't really fair on you…

Then I promise not to be late and I stroll in …in the early hours….We're you mad with me?

No….Jen shook her head. .I texted you…Telling you to have a good night didn't I?

What? Tilly frowned taking a seat next to Jen….You didn't

Uh yes…I did….Jen replied…I text saying I was going to sleep and for you to have a good night. I'll keep your side of the bed warm…

Tilly scrolled through her phone…I didn't get it? You sure you sent it?

Jen pulled her phone out showing Tilly the message…See?

Tilly looked at Jens phone…Confused as to why it stated delivered when she hadn't received it…

I didn't it?

Jen shrugged…Oh well maybe it just didn't go through…Not to worry..

Tilly could see Jen wasn't bothered she she shrugged it off…So…Its my Friends Jemma's birthday today and she's having a get together to night….

I was….Kinda hoping…

Oh Tilly? Jen interrupted…Please don't ask me to go…

Why not? Tilly frowned…C'mon…I want you to meet my friends…I want them to see how sexy my women is…She joked…Pleaseee..

Jen was not in any way shape for form interested in going out with Tilly's friends…She didn't want to come across as uptight but Tilly's friends really weren't her cup of tea….They were typical Uni students….Only interested in going out getting stupidly drunk…and making idiots of themselves…

Something Jen had enjoyed herself back in her Uni days…Those's days were over for her now and she had hoped That part of Tillys life she would be able to stay clear of….

Tilly's would love to but I have so much work on. By the time im finished im ready for bed…..Jen explained..

Pleassssssssssssssssse..We don't have to stay long and I promise I wont let them force you into drinking games or karaoke? Tilly joked….

I'll make it worth your while? She said seductively…

Jen sighed…she knew Tilly wouldn't let up and if she did Jen would have to put up with her sulking….

Ok fine…But…only for an hour or so….Jen warned….

Deal…Tilly winked. Kissing her Girl…

Tilly meet Jen at her place…As she sat waiting Hayley came home…

Hi Tills…How are you? Hayley asked..

Im good….Better if Jen would hurry up. She shouted..

Ok…Im ready…Jen moaned..Hey…she smiled at Hayley…

Hayley nodded. And where are you bitches heading?

Its my Friends birthday so…..Tilly smiled..

Ahhhhh A night out with a load of beer swigging Uni student…Jen's favorite..Hayley joked..

Jen rolled her eyes…Yeah joyous…

Oi…Hello..Uni student? Tilly joked waving her hands..I am sat here…

Ignore her..Hayley smiled…She'll be stripping dancing on tables by 11.…She laughed…

Uh if your not doing anything why don't you come? Tilly asked..

Yeah H…Why don't you come ? Jen copied..

Hayley laughed..Oh god no….I like to party …A lot…But I couldn't think of anything worse then hanging out with a bunch of Uni students…No offence Tills…

Jen sighed…

Tilly laughed. Well we will leave you to it then…She kissed Hayley's cheek as they left. In the lift Tilly watched Jen..

You don't have to come if you don't want to?

Jen frowned…Im here aint I….

Yesssss…But I have a feeling you wish you wasn't…Tilly observed…

Jen rolled her eyes…They're your friends….Part of your life….Am I over the moon to be going? No….But. I want to be with you so if its where you are then….

Tilly smiled. You sure?

Jen nodded..Yeah…Your buying my drinks all night though…

Tilly grinned….deal…

As Tilly introduced Jen to her friends she began to relax…Most of them were lovely ..Making time to talk to her ..Some buying her drinks…

The night wasn't as bad as Jen had thought it was going to be..

Zoe was drunk and provided the entertainment…Her trying to tell Jen a joke for the last 10 mins had Jen in stitches…

Tilly had been pulled up on the dance floor..…

I forgot the punch line….Zoe frowned..

Jen giggled ..Its ok Zo…I think I got it ages ago…

Zoe sulked placing her head on Jen shoulder….Good…

Jen scanned the room looking for Tilly….As she spots her and Lou on the dance floor

…..Jen hadn't seen Lou all night. She had made no effort to join the group….

Jen could see Tilly laughing as Lou spun her round…Jen couldn't help but feel a little ping of jealousy..

Jen couldn't help but dislike Lou…Everyone else seemed so nice and went out of their way to make Jen feel welcome except her…

Jen? Jemma called. Do you want a drink?

Jen smiled. Shouldn't it be me getting you one? Its your birthday…

Nah don't be silly…..Jemma smiled…Zo I aint getting you one…Unless its water..

Uh..I am not drunk thank you. Zoë spluttered ..but I will have a water anyways..

Jen laughed…Excepting Jemma's offer of a drink. Her eyes reverting back to the dance floor…

As she looks over Tilly is no longer there…Instead Jen spots her at the bar on the opposite side of the club….

She can see Tilly and Lou in deep conversation…Tilly doesn't look happy ..it looks like she is having a go at Lou…

As Jen watches on she is a little shocked as Lou grabs Tilly's arm ..Tilly pushes her away ..pointing her finger at her then storming off….

Where's Tills? Zoe asks half a sleep….

She was dancing with that Lou…Jen explained..

Ughh..Zoe muttered…

Not a Fan? Jen asked..

Nah…cant stand the girl. Zoë explained…Always got something to say for herself….

Smmmh..Im not sure she likes me…Jen mentioned..

Probably not…Zoe sighed…She probably hates the fact you're here…She laughs..

Jen frowned…Oh?

Well…before you showed up Tilly and her…Well….You know…

Know what? Jen asked…eager for Zoe to continue..

Zoe placed her hands over her eyes.. The alcohol had taken over her and she began to feel a little sick..

Oh Jen..she exhaled heavily. I feel ill…

Zoë. What do you mean…? Jen urged…

About being Ill? Zoe frowned..

Tut..No about Lou?…

Ohhhhhh YEAH…she's probably in a pissy cause Tilly has a girlfriend…They use to sleep together innit..Zoe shrugged…

Well. She laughed..Tilly would use her when she was pissed…

Jen felt a knot in her stomach.. Was that what Tilly and Lou are talking about? So when? I mean how long?

Dunno…Zoe shrugged…I just seen her at Tills a few times…Think she was after a relationship but Tills told her no…..Lou doesn't like the word no….So yeah probably why she don't like ya….

Jen took in all Zoe said…As she thought about it a little more she felt a hand on her shoulder…

Shell we go? Tilly asked with a smile…

Jen and Tilly carried Zoe out of the club and into a cab…Jen made some excuse about having to stay at home ..

Ok I'll crash at yours then…Tilly suggested..

As they get ready for bed Jen decides to dig a little…

So most of your friends are really nice…Jen said…

Most? Tilly frowned..

Yeah…I really like Jemma….She's lovely..Jen informed Tilly..

Yeah she is…Tilly smiled climbing into bed…

Not sure on Lou…Thought Jen muttered as she takes her make up off watching Tilly in the mirror…

I don't think she likes me….

Tilly shrugged…Lou don't like no one…I wouldn't worry..

She seems to be quite clingy. You know to you? ..is she the kind of friend that doesn't like to share you…

Tilly muttered something but Jen didn't hear….Oh have you and her? Jen laughed playing it cool..

What? Tilly swallowed..

Jen turnt to Tilly….I just said…Or is she a little clingy because you two had a thing?

Tilly shook her head…No…No thing…

What so you two haven't slept together? Jen frowned hoping Tilly would tell her the truth..

Tilly looks at Jen for a few moments…No…Never…she answered…

Jen's heart sunk…Tilly had looked into her eyes and lied to her…Oh…She muttered turning back to the mirror…

As She lay in the dark Jen couldn't believe Tilly lied…..Maybe something was still going on with the pair of them that's why Tilly hadn't told her the truth ..or mentioned that they had argued that night…..

In the Morning Till felt bad that she had lied to Jen…She just didn't want to have to explain something that had no relevance to their life…Lou was a mate…nothing more…nothing less….In Tillys eyes anyways…

Jen was quiet…Which Tilly had noticed…

Hey..Im sorry you got lumbered with Zoe…Last night…

Jen shook her head. .Its fine. She actually kept me entertained…She's a sweet girl…

Tilly nodded…So Um..I was thinking…Maybe dinner later?

Ok…Jen agreed….

And a movie? Maybe you could stay over at mine and we can have some us time?

I'd like that. .Jen smiled..

Good…Tilly grinned biting Jen's toast….Im going to work…She leant down Kissing Jen…See ya later…Love you….

Yep…Jen answered …Shaking her head….her fears of Tilly and Lou growing by the second…

Once Tilly was at Work Zoe had come in ordering a large black Coffee…Tills for fuck sake will you stop me drinking so much…

Ha…Tilly joked…Uh no one can stop you lady…

Zoe sipped her Coffee…Ugh I feel like shit….

So where did you get off to anyways? Zoe asked. Me and Jen were sat on our own for ages…

Tilly shook her head…I had Lou in my ear again ….Kept going on about how I lead her on…How she had feelings for me..Blah blah blah….

She needs to get a life. Zoë laughed…You know Jen notices she's off with her…

Tilly frowned…she say something?

Yeah..Zoe nodded….She just said like how everyone is really nice to her except Lou and she feels like she don't like her….

Tilly nodded..Yeah well im not gonna bring Jen out when she's about…She's just out to cause trouble….

And the last thing I want is for her to cause problems for me and Jen…

She wouldn't? Would she? Zoe frowned..

We got into an argument last night….Tilly explained…We were having a laugh dancing and that and all of a sudden she's offering me into the toilets..

Shut up? Zoe gasped..

I know….Tilly shook her head… I was like you mad..Im with Jen…and she's here…She kept saying that's what makes it more fun and I should live a little….

Zoë's jaw was open…she couldn't believe what Tilly was saying…What did you do?

I told her straight…Me and her was a bit of drunken fun and she needs to get over herself and leave me alone…She grabbed my arm telling me she will make it awkward for myself and Jen….

I told her to stay away from me…Tilly continued…So…she basically wants to cause trouble…So. I'll keep Jen away until she gets over it….

And you think that will solve it? Zoe asked..

Tilly shrugged…Well yeah..Me and Jen are in a good place the last thing I want is for her to know I was sleeping with Lou and that well…we hang out still….she wouldn't be comfortable with that…

And I don't want to hurt her over something that isn't necessary ..so I just wont tell her…

Aghhhh..Zoe cringed….

What? Tilly worried…

Um….Well. Zoë swallowed licking her lips…I um….Might just have already told her…

Zoooooooe you didn't? …

I was drunk…she said Lou doesn't like her…I juts said it was probably cause u use to sleep with her…

Sorry babe..

Tilly slumped on to the chair….Shit…

What? Zoe asked..

She asked me last night if I've ever been with Lou…

So? Zoe shrugged..

Tilly looked up at Zoe….I said no…I lied to her and …..she knows it…

Well just go home and tell her all about it? Zoe suggested…

Tilly shook her head…I lied to her face Zo…..Jen is going to be freaking out now….She's gonna think she cant trust me…

Zoe felt awful…Im so sorry babe…Me and my big mouth…

Tilly shook her head…No its not your fault…Its mine…Im the one that lied….


	22. Chapter 22

Tilly was kicking herself all day , she cant believe she lied to Jen….Asking herself over and over again why she did it…

As she sits out side her work place taking her break she wondered how she should handle the situation…What her reasons for lying to Jen were?

If Jen knew she lied why hadn't she brought it up? Why wasn't she freaking out ..Tilly knew deep down the reason for the lie was because Jen had a habit of looking into things a little to much…Tilly knew that Jen would worry every time Tilly went out with her friends..

It wasn't like Tilly could avoid Lou…They shared the same friends..

Tilly sighed heavily …Texting Jen..

Hey beautiful lady!

Will you be gracing me with your company tonight still?

X T

As Tilly stares at her phone part of her was a little afraid….If Jen was coming over she feared she might mention it and they could possibly get into an argument and if she made an excuse to not come over then it might mean she's angry…which in turn would end in an argument…

Tilly knew the best thing to do was to come clean…Be honest and hope Jen wouldn't be to mad at her…

Tilly Phone beeped making her jump…

Hi…

Yes I will be there after work..

Stopping home first though…x J…

Hmmmmm Tilly sighed…Well she was coming over so that was something. Heading back in to finish her shift..Tilly Text Jen again..

Ok…love you xxxx…

Jen read the message but didn't reply…as she sits thinking about the situation Hayley made her jump…

Boooooooo .she shouted with a giggle…

Jen just tutted…

Ohhhh Whats up with you grumpy.? Hayley joked..

Nothing…Jen muttered..

Don't look like nothing….I also had to step over your long face….Hayley laughed…C'mon Tell Aunty H Whats wrong…

Jen looked at her friend for a moment…Your just going to tell me im being stupid…Jen moaned…

Hayley frowned. Probably but tell me anyways…Whats up?

Jen sighed…Tilly…she lied to me…

Go on..Hayley urged..

Well when we were out last night all Tilly's friends were lovely to me. They really went out of their way to make me feel welcome…Except one….Some Lou women….Jen moaned…She was off with me the night before at Tilly's but I shrugged it off….

Anyways last night Tilly and her were dancing ,laughing and joking….The next minute I could see them at the bar and it looked like they were arguing..

Right? Hayley frowned…What were they arguing about?

Jen shrugged. Don't know…But Zoe was drunk ..very drunk and started going on about This Lou probably not liking me cause her and Tilly use to sleep together…

Ouch….Hayley gasped…

I kinda mentioned to Tilly how this Lou was a little off with me and she shrugged it off like "Oh she doesn't like anyone"…Jen explained…So I lightly joked saying oh you haven't slept with her then?…

Jen shook her head….Then she looked me in the eye and said no…

Hayley raised her eyebrows…Why would she say no?

I don't know…Jen sulked…Now I cant stop thinking …Why were they arguing? What was said…because as soon as they were done Tilly wanted to leave…

Hmmmmm Seems like this Lou has a problem with you being with Tills then! ..Hayley said..

Jen was biting her nails…So I know she's lied to me….Why I don't know….But….well what do I do about it?

Ask her…Hayley said bluntly…Babe I love Tills you know that but…..how are you mean tot have a relationship if she's keeping shit from ya?..I mean you don't think its still….

No…Jen gasped. No defiantly not…She was singing my praises and Kissing me in front of her…they cant still be at it…

Ok…Ok…Hayley nodded agreeing. So?

Sooooo im staying at hers tonight….Im just wondering how long I can go with out saying something..Jen worried…

Talk to her…Don't Hayley emphasized ..go on one or freak out…Just ask…Babe I really don't think Tilly is the cheating type so there is obviously a reason for her not being honest….

Jen nodded….Taking her phone out her bag texting Tilly back..

Love you too…..x J…

Tilly finally arrived home feeling happy that Jen had texted she loved her…

She quickly showered and changed and decided to cook Jen a romantic meal….Hoping Jen wouldn't think she was creeping…

As she finishes laying the table and lighting the candles she hears Jen opening the door…

Ta daaaaaaaa..She smiled…

Jen frowned….Whats all this for?

No reason…Tilly grinned taking Jens bag swapping it for a glass of wine….I just wanted to do something nice for you…

Oooooo k…Jen smiled sipping her wine….Wow you've been busy…She noticed as she sits down

Yup…Tilly winked Still feeling a little uneasy about Jen knowing she had lied….But your worth it so…..

Right dinner is going to be about 15 minutes so do you want to jump in the shower? Tilly asked

Jen nodded Getting up heading in to the bathroom taking her wine….

Tilly finished off Dinner and sat waiting for Jen…quickly putting on some soft music…

Smells good? Jen stated as she retuned back to her seat…

Well lets hope it tastes as good aye…Tilly smiled…

As the two sat and ate Tilly made small talk….Work ok?

Jen finished what she was eating…Yeah…was alright…busy…Hayley's got me running around after her…

Nothing new then? Tilly Joked.

Jen laughed….We have an exhibition next week so everything's a little manic…

Oh I see….Where's my invite? Tilly pouted..

You can come…Jen smiled…You might get roped into helping out though..

Im cool with that…Tilly nodded…How's your dinner?

Good….Really good…You're a women of many talents…Jen said…

Some might say awesome…Tilly laughed…

Some…Jen replied….Im done…She added pushing her plate away from her….

Tilly cleared the dishes away Watching Jen as she scrolled through her phone…Walking over to her she wrapped her arms around Her waist…You haven't even kissed me today…She sulked..

Jen turnt around in Tillys arms placing her phone on the table…And you think by cooking me dinner qualifies you for one?

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm…Tilly smiled..Yeah…

Jen looked into Tillys eyes. And down to her lips…..She loved this girl so much she didn't want any thing or one to ruin things…

Well dinner was lovely sooooooooooo ..She leant in Kissing Tilly's waiting lips…Tilly held Jen tighter pulling her in to deepen the kiss a little more..

Mmmmm You taste good. She smiled..

That's the wine…Jen informed her..

No…Its you…Tilly said seductively…Can we cuddle?

Jen let Tilly lead her to the sofa…Tilly sits leaning Jen into her. Holding her had in hers….As they lie silently listening to the music Tilly decides now is the right time for them to talk…

Jen.! .She mutters her voice trembled…I um…..I love you …you know that right?

Yeah…Jen answered playing with Tillys hand….

Tilly sat up a little preparing herself….Last night…You um….she swallowed hard her throat became really dry…You….Uh….You asked me something….And well…She coughed clearing her throat…I lied to you Jen….

Jen sat up…I know….

Tilly nodded…I know you do…..Zoe told me….Jen im so sorry. I don't even know why I lied..I..I…I…just said it…I ..didn't think….

Jen nodded…So why are you telling me now?

Tilly frowned. Because I …I don't want us to have any secrets…

Jen nodded…So its …not…because Zoe said anything..

What?…No..Jen ..I felt bad for not being honest…I would of told you any…

Jen got up off the sofa…Sitting gat the table…So even if Zoe hadn't mentioned she dropped you in it you would of told me anyways?

Tilly nodded…

Because you want to be honest with me? Jen asked…No lies…No secrets?

That's right..Tilly replied..

Ok…SO what were the two of you arguing about? Jen asked..

Arguing? Tilly asked..

Yup…At the bar…I saw her grab you…Then you were having ago at her…Jen said tapping her finger nails on the table…

Tilly closed her eyes for a moment to gather herself….Ok…..She nodded….Ok…Lou and I were sleeping together…It was more of a drunken thing…Nothing in it….

How long? Jen asked…How many times did this |"drunk|" thing happen…

Tilly shrugged…I dunno..I mean a few times…Why does it matter?

Jen laughed under her breath. …Mattered enough for you to lie to me!

Jen…Tilly sulked ..I just didn't want you to worry.. Or feel weird about it…That's all…Nothing is going on…I hadn't slept with her for a while before we got together…

So…Why were you arguing? Jen asked again…

Tilly looked at her Girlfriend…she knew she had to just be honest …

She um…..Tilly inhaled and exhaled heavily…..She asked me to go into the toilets with her..

Smmmh..Classy…Jen moaned..

Tilly got up and bent down into front of Jen…..We argued because I told her where to go….I told her that I had you and I have never been so happy….Jen please….Im sorry I lied to you….Part of me was scared….I was scared that well…Maybe you would freak out and go cold on me….

So you lied for my own good? Jen laughed…not amused…

Tilly took Jen's hand…Im Sorry…I deserve for you to be mad with me…I know that ..But please…Can we just forget it?

Forget you lied to me ? Forget I saw you in a very intense argument with a women you use to sleep with? Jen said sarcastically….Sure…

Tilly rolled her eyes standing up…I knew this would happen….she shook her head…Zo had no right even saying anything…

Oooooh so its Zoë's fault you lied…? Jen said angrily…Yeah lets blame her….cause Tilly hasn't done anything wrong…

Look…I've said sorry…I know its my fault ..Im not blaming Zoë. I just…..

You just what Tilly? Jen asked….Huh….

Tilly was also angry by now. ...Hold up…Why is this anything to do with you again?

I mean are you the only one entitled to a past?

Don't try and turn this on me Tilly…I gave you the chance to tell me about her and yet you decide to lie…And then because your friend told you she outted you…You decide to make me dinner and come clean…..Am I meant to be grateful?

Your meant to trust me…Tilly snapped..

WOooooah hold on there…I didn't say I didn't trust you. .And I certainly haven't implied your doing anything wrong ..Jen stated….

So Whats the big deal..Tilly moaned..

The "Big Deal" is….You lied and only decided to tell me because you knew I already knew…Jen shouted…

Tilly rolled her eyes and shook her head…You know what. .I've said sorry…I've admitted I was wrong…I cant do anymore….

As Tilly turnt her back to Jen she muttered under her breath.. .If it aint good enough then you know what you can do….

Although Tilly whispered to her self it hadn't gone un heard…Jen grabbed her bag and began to put her things inside it…

Jen…Tilly sighed…What are you doing..?

What does it look like? She answered…

Ok c'mon look ..Lets just calm down…Ok….Tilly said

Jen shook her head…I was calm Tilly….You just said if its not good for me then leave…so…I am…

Jen please…Look I just…I don't know im being an idiot…Can we just talk….

Jen finished throwing her things in her bag…Stopping at the door as she opens it…

I don't think we need too…She muttered as she went to leave…Tilly grabbed the door closing it…

Tilly…Jen sulked…Just let me go…

No…Tilly snapped. .No way Jen…your not walking out on me again….We haven't got this far for you to do that…

You staying here….We are going to sort this out….You not doing this to me again…

To You? Jen frowned…

Yeah ..to me…To You…To us? Tilly replied…

I lied because I don't want you thinking bad of me!. I lied because I cant stand the thought of you worrying every time you know im out when she is….I lied because we …we've been through so much and because of our past ..I worry that any little thing can rock the boat….

Tilly turnt Jen to face her stroking her face…I lied because I love you so much I don't want to hurt you…And I realised that I did that anyway..

Jen…Im sorry…Please don't walk away from me again….Tilly begged. Please stay/

Jen looked into those beautiful emerald eyes…she could see how sorry Tilly was…

She to was afraid of a lot of things when it came to the pair of them so she understood how Tilly felt

Without saying anything Jen dropped her bag…Grabbing hold of Tilly Kissing her passionately….Tilly reciprocated by pinning Jen against the door…Heating the moment up by Pulling at Jen's clothes..

If there was one thing these two were defiantly good at …..It was making up


	23. Chapter 23

Tilly walked backwards towards the bed pulling Jen with her…never breaking the kiss…She lays Jen down….Looking into her eyes….You never have to worry about anyone else…She whispered…

You're the only one I want….

Jen smiled….Are you sure?

Tilly grinned leaning down placing her lips on Jen's …More then sure…she mutters in between kisses…

Jen rolls Tilly over climbing on top of her…..And no more hiding things?

No more….Tilly smiled biting down on her lip….Now get here…She giggled pulling Jen down on top of her full….Kissing her passionately entering her tongue into her mouth to heat up the moment…

Laying breathlessly side by side…Tilly turns to Jen..

Hey Jen listen….I am sorry…

Forget it…Jen replied..

No….Look…I know no matter how much I try to reassure you ..your always gonna have that little niggling feeling in your stomach .

Tilly please…Jen protested…Look I cant say im completely ok with it but…..She shook her head. I trust you and if I want this to work then I have to put my faith in you..

And your going to be ok if I go out and Lou is there? Tilly asked…

Jen swallowed….No….she shrugged…But it's the way it is…You share the same group of friends…Like I said I have to trust in you…

Tilly felt bad…she knew Jen was never gonna be happy about Lou….she also knew that maybe if she was honest from the start then it probably wouldn't be so bad….She was grateful Jen trusted her….But weary because she knows all to well how Jen's mind works….

Maybe I can keep my distance from lou..Tilly offered..

What? Jen gasped…No…She moaned as she got out of Bed pulling on a dressing gown….No Tilly….You cant just cut off from your friends…

Im not…Tilly said…Just her..

Her? Jen repeated…Her who has the same friends as you? Her who attends the same Uni as you? Its not possible…ANNND…she empathised…If I agree and say " yes ok do that"…What dies that say about our relationship? …

We're not that close Jen…Tilly said matter of fact…

Close enough to sleep together..Jen burst out…..Regretting it straight about…..No. look…Im sorry I shouldn't have said that…..

Tilly…..I don't want you to do or change anything about your life ok..?

We will be ok….

Tilly sighed….ok….ok if your sure…

Jen wasn't sure at all…She hated the fact Tilly would be around someone that had no respect that she was in a relationship….Not only that but to offer her a sexual encounter in the bathroom with Jen just feet away….

Im sure…Jen lied….

Tilly nodded….Sooooo Ooooo come back to bed then? She swooned seductively…

Jen rolled her eyes licking her lip…..Is that all you think about?

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..Tilly laughed…Yeah….So? She asked pulling back the bed quilt…

Jen shook her head…as she climbed back in..Tilly instantly pulling her closer hugging her tightly…

As long as you know I love you…..

Tilly rushed late into Uni..Kicking herself for dragging Jen back to bed….

Your late Miss Evans…The stern lecture said staring over his glasses…

Uh yeah…Im sorry I um….I uh…Had tube trouble…Tilly lied…

Hmmmmm And yet no one else here did? He moaned…

Tilly sat down looking around. Her cheeks slightly red….

I got notes if you want to go for a Coffee after….Lou whispered from behind her..

Tilly really didn't want to go for Coffee with Lou but she knew she had missed a vital part of the class and needed the notes…

K….She muttered….

Once the lesson was over she made her way to the front…

Mr Kilburn…..Im really sorry I was late…It wont happen again….

I hope not Miss Evans. It would be a shame to waste all your hard work oh the fact you cant drag yourself out of bed in time….

Tilly nodded….If only you knew…She thought….

As she walked out of the class room Lou was waiting…So? Coffee? She grinned…

Tilly held her hand out as if to tell Lou to lead the way…part of her was a little annoyed that Lou was acting so normal after their argument…

So…C'mon truth….Why was you really late? Lou asked as she paid for the Coffees…

Like I Said The Tube was late….Tilly replied not wanting to got into it with Lou…

Lou laughed …Liar…

You got them notes or not? Tilly moaned…

Alright…God Whats got into you ? Lou sulked handing Tilly a small book…

Lou…Did you not forget how stupid you were the other night? Tilly asked…

So I had a few to many? So What? Lou shrugged…

Lou…My Girlfriend was sat in the same bar and you were trying to get me to have sex with you…It was out of order…

Oh Tills for god sake…Lou rolled her eyes…It was the alcohol…You don't need to make a big deal out of it…

Put yourself in Jen's shoes….Tilly argues…You don't exactly make her feel welcome and then she sees us arguing….

Wouldn't you be a little pissed off…

Well…Actually Tilly…Yeah ..Lou bitched…Why don't you put yourself in my shoes…We were sleeping together then all of a sudden you have a Girlfriend and im meant to be all warm and friendly to your latest fling? ….

Firstly…Tilly snapped…We were a drunk thing and you knew it….Secondly…Jen isn't a "fling"…Its serious…and I don't need you making trouble…

Oh don't flatter yourself Tilly…Lou barked as she walked away….

Tilly breathed a sigh of relief that the encounter was over…But somewhere inside her she had a feeling it wasn't over…

Over at Jen's work she is deep in thought…

Oi….Hayley shouted scaring Jen half to death…You alright?

Jen nods. .Yeah…She sighs….Just daydreaming..

Ewwww…Filthy mare..Hayley laughs…

Tut…Jen mutters. We don't all have that kind of mind ..thank you very much….

What can I say..Hayley shrugs…we don't all have a sex life as busy as yours…

Jen shoves her friend with a giggle….

Anyways…You moved out or what? Hayley asks..

Smmmmh…Not quite…After all the Lou business Tillys trying her hardest to reassure me…This includes begging me to stay with her most nights…

Ah..I see….So is everything ok there? Hayley asked..

Jen raised her eyebrows…I think so…She uh…She offered to keep her distance from that Lou. But I cant ask her to do that….I mean….if I agreed then well…it would mean I didn't trust her…

Hayley nodded….Yeah you trust Tilly Red head but what about this Lou character?

No comment…Jen laughed under her breath…As she sits chatting to Hayley her phone beeps..

Next time I demand we stay in bed longer can you have a little more fight in you?

I was so late my lecture gave me a right telling off lol…T x

Oh shit…Jen laughed Tilly was late for Class this morning and got in trouble…

Disgusting…Hayley laughed ..The pair of ya….She added as she headed back into the Gallery..

Oh so its my fault? Lol..

Maybe you need to learn to fight your urges Matilda xx J…

Well maybe you need to learn not to be so damn hard to resist…Jennifer xx T…

Was the response…

Jen laughed…shaking her head….She loved how flirty they were towards each other…And how even thought they weren't together Tilly still had her on her mind….

They shared a few texts Tilly explaining that she had so much revision to do and had no idea where to start…Suggesting that maybe she needed to pull in an all night..Jen agreeing ..deciding maybe a night apart might help….

The next morning Tilly wondered through the corridor of her Uni….As she walked past the library she spotted Zoe…

Hey you….She smiled…

Zoe didn't answer she just looked at Tilly…

You ok? Tilly wondered noticing Zoe was a little off with her..

Zoe began to pack her things away…You know what Tills….I cant believe you had the cheek to make me feel bad about telling Jen about you and Lou….When you go behind her back anyways..

Tilly was confused…What? Behind who's back?

Don't play dumb Tilly. Zoe warned….You know what. I actually really like Jen….And I felt awful knowing I caused you two to argue….

Zoe…Tilly laughed…What the hell are you going on about?

You…Tilly…You and Lou….

What? Tilly spat….Me and Lou what….

Zoe looked at Tilly shaking her head…Lou stopped me this morning…She wants her notes back….The ones she left at your place last night. Or was it this morning?

Tilly frowned…notes? Zoe…Lou didn't leave them at my house…She borrowed me them yesterday? Tilly swallowed…I've been up all night revising…Alone

Im not stupid Tilly…Zoe informed her friend…Lou couldn't wait to brag about how you and her spent the night together…Would explain why I kept getting your voicemail last night!

.Well im warning you now…Don't think im gonna lie for you…Zoe spat as she walked off…

Tilly stood silently. She couldn't believe what Zoe was saying…What Lou had implied…

Tilly had stayed up late revising on her own…She had text Jen good night and switched her phone off so she wouldn't be disturbed…

Why was Lou doing this to her? What if Jen hears about these lies? How would she convince Jen its was Lou causing trouble if even her best friend didn't believe it! ?


End file.
